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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
^hello^ ^wave^

                        Well i dont really no were 2 start.

                        My sisters friend has decided 2 chose her bf over her children

                        her little girl is 16months & her baby boy is 2months old

                        she has asked us if we will adopt them (foster leading 2 adoption)

                        there with her mum at min but she very ill & cant cope
                       
                        my sisters friend will b moving around alot as bf in army

                        if we say no they will go in 2 care as she says cant cope.

                        my sister used 2 have her daughter at least 5 days a wk

                        & the longest she has spent with her son was when she was

                        in hospital giving birth 2 him.



                        My heart says YES but my head says NO


                        PLZ help me does any1 no how things would work in this situation?


                            Tammy
 

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Hi hun

You need to go with your HEAD in the sense of you cant let your heart and feelings make you do this out of guilt, these children are not your worry as such however i would ring your local Social services dept and ask how you go about this as it may be a case that they are not aware of the situation and that someone within the extended family is better suited to these 2 or even that the best thing for them to get on with their life is to be removed and placed in a "new" family

If your still haviung IF tx i dont think SS would want to place the children with you for adoption- if adoption the route you are on?

xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
^hello^ ^wave^

                        forgot 2 mention we bin lookin at adoption 4 some time now

                        was told would not b likely 2 get child or children under 2(was looking at siblings)


                                    Tammy
 

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The others have given you some good advice

What I would add is that social services would place the children in an approved foster carers home until a long term plan was sorted out for them. Which would mean them being placed in foster care while you went through the foster/adoption process.
I would see it unlikely they would place outside of the family to people who needed to be approved as foster carers.

I would definately speak to social services to see where you stand

xx
 

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Hi

I have no experience in this just wanted to send you a ((HUG)) and hope that you manage to get things sorted out. As the others have said if you speak to Social Services they will be able to advise you on what the next step is.

Nefe
xx
 

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Have no wise advice as this is a difficult situation you're in and I have no idea about what can/can't should/shouldn't be done. But in the end you have to do what is good for you. Good luck hun  ^hugme^

Kay xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
^hello^ ^wave^

                        Thank you 4 all the advice & support.  ^Cuddle^

                        I've spoken 2 my sisters friend to find out exactly whats going on.

                        Says she cant be a mum anymore, has said if we don't want 2 adopt

                        them she understands but would prefer us to as says she knows

                        they will be well looked after. If we decided we couldn't do it she is

                        giving them over 2 SS for adoption.

                       
                        Had a VERY LONG talk with DH. Think we have decide to go along with this,

                        after r long chat decided if we past this chance & wait a while to go through

                        adoption we would end up kicking ourselves with the age factor as both children

                        r still very young. Am now waiting to hear from SW to find out next step.

                        This is so scary could have r own little family by Christmas.  ^pray^


                        Will update when i have more news


                                  Tammy
 

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Tammy - now that you've made that decision I can safely say that I would've done the same too  :) What a wonderful opportunity those kids have now. I hope all goes smoothly and that you are able to go ahead with an adoption with no problems.  ^hugme^

Kay xxx
 
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