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Discussion Starter · #1 ·


Hi Folks

This is my first time in posting a message so please bear with me......

I was recently diagnosed with POF, I'm only 30 and have had many blood tests spanning over about 6 years. There is a history of early Menopause in my family (my mum was 31 - but she already had her 3 kids by then) and that was my biggest fear that I'd never have my own child......unfortunately my nightmare has came true......

Unfortunately I had the specialist from HELL, who with 3 blood tests showing ovarian failure said he could not diagnose this (he originally told me when I went in that everything was "fine" and only when I confronted him about the results from my own GP did he look further into my file), but by going private and seeing someone the very next day he told me that it WAS POF and there was no chance of having my own family but egg donation was an option.

I am GUTTED to say the least, I think I am more angry at the fact possibly something could have been done - maybe not - but now I'll never know. I was referred to this same GP in 2003 after blood results showed my ovaries were not functioning properly and the second specialist said that this may have been an indication that things were not right.I cannot understand why this was not picked up sooner.....

One specialist told me I'd have eggs of my own another told me no way.....I'm so confused......

They have advised me to get my own donors......bit of a problem there as at present I am single and do not know what to do for the best......they also said a family member is ideal but I'm not sure if I want to go down that road or not....is there anyone out there that has decided to go with a member of their family as a donor? Who has opted for anonymity? I'm hoping that by talking to you all that I can try and make some sense out of all this....

What I do know is I want to have a baby, I'm just not sure emotionally what is best for me......I have a few thoughts on what would be best for my baby but not sure if it's the right thing for me....

Please help - any comments are most welcome...
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Jennifer

Thanks for taking time to reply......


I don't want to sound a b**** (especially when I'm just new) but you are really lucky you've got a child of your own, I think the hardest thing for me is knowing that I'll never see what MY baby will look like.

As far as a family donor.....I agree...sometimes I do think it's a bit close to home (she's only 18 so it will affect her bigstyle too), I'm so messed up about the whole thing that whatever way i look at it there are always some negatives. i suppose I was looking at it from the baby's point of view....y'know what is going to be easier for them to deal with growing up. I didn't find out who my real dad was until I was 15 which had a big effect on my teenage years (teeneager from hell!!! ha ha) and also with my mum and I's relationship.......hence the whole reason for waiting to have a family....y'know meet the right guy, have a good job, house etc....so I don't really know what to do for the best. I suppose that if I went on to have another (although I'll be delighted if I can have just one) that they'd at least be related (half sister and brother) if I had my sisters eggs....Gosh it is soooooo confusing!!!!

So when is your treatment in Spain? How long is the whole process? I'm assuming you are on a NHS waiting list? My main thing is now that I don't have a partner and sometimes I feel if I had been more pushy in saying I actual did then they'd have given my case the same attention as a couple......

AAARRRRGGGHHHHH - Loads of thing running through my mind.

Thanks alot for taking time to write...please keep me updated on your progress and thanks for the links.....just getting new to this...infact i don't even think I posted my note correctly but hey!
 
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