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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello Im new here.

I had it confirmed yesterday that I have POF.  Im totally devestated. I am 31 yrs old. 

My gyno told me over the telephone. Last week and i then spent the next 3 hrs crying.

My mum well, all she said was "I always said that i thought you wouldnt be able to have children" Nice support.  And then to finished it off, yesterday when i was waiting to see my gyno she starts going off on one.  I said to her please not today of all days.

I really dont think she has any idea about the way im feeling.

 

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Hi Zeeme
Im so sorry about your news, but believe me I know how you feel, I was told I had POF three years ago when I was thirty.
Believe it or not my mom said "well you never were that interested in having kids were you", nothing about the fact that maybe I was waiting until I was with the right man etc, but now that choice had been taken away from me.
Has anyone actually sat down with you and discussed what your best opitions are?
Im now on HRT, its helped alot but it might not be right for everyone, we are still considering egg donation,its alot to think about and we want to know its the right think to do,we have also thought about living child free, but again its a very difficult decision to make.

Youve alot to think about at the moment and me rambling on wont help, but please remember if ever you need to have a moan or just chat theres alot of us on the site and there will always be someone here to chat to.

^Cuddle^
Karen j
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Karen

Thanx for your kind words.  I started HRT the same day that I found out.  Thankfully I had done a little research on the net before I went for my results but it was still a shock.

I havent even thought about what to do about the future. You see my boyfriend and I are no longer together - but we have remained friends.  Even though we are not together he has been a tower of strength for me.

I had to explain alot to mum about POF and she is slowly changing her attitude.  I had to say to her that at the moment I need her support. She said ok but dont wollow in it and dont get depressed -easier said than done. It is not the end, I may be one of the lucky ones.

I am so pleased that I have been able to find such a website like this.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
 

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Although I have not yet been diagnosed with POF (its more likely to be severe endo/cysts/blocked tubes for me), my mother's attitude is exactly the same.  I'm 33 and never got pg in 10 years of marraige, or 7 months of trying with my fiancee. My mother just keeps saying that because I was severely anorexic in my teens - to the point where I stopped menstruating - she expected that I wouldn't be able to have children and I'd be just like my "poor auntie" (her sister) who never was able to have kids.

At a time when we are in most need of love, support and positivity, why do our mothers hurt us so?  Yes, they must feel pain for the grandchildren they cannot have and for our pain, but can't they understand how it hurts?  Or is it because, as MOTHERS themselves, they have never had to face the prospect of a life without children and so just don't understand?!? :'(
 

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Hi ladies,

The other day I was explaining to my Mother about POF, and the need for a donor egg. She then thought she had a great idea...! How about I get an egg from my husbands sister!!!  Oh my God!!  After I recovered from the shock, at least I was able to laugh.  :)
 

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Hi Zara,

I am sorry to hear about you diagnosis.  I too was diagnosed with POF last year.  It is hard to come to terms with it.  I went through a period where whenever i saw a baby or a pregnant woman i would burst into tears.  I guess what am trying to say is i understand what you are going through.  And there is alot of support on here which I have benefited from.

My mum does not understand how one can stop having af before 50!!

Well, I went to the 1st clinic and they would not treat me because my fsh was in the clouds.... now i have found another clinic that is willing to give me a try.

keep positive..... miracles still happen.

Lydia
 

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Hi Girls,
know where you are coming from, my fury is that I should have had tests when I was 31 and went to the GP with irregular AF (every month but lasted ages or was just very light)..but as I wasn't ttc no-one thought about doing an FSH GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So at 37 when diagnosed with POF after a failed IUI it was too late  ^evil^

My mum is a bit of a "lemon chops" if you know what I mean, and has found my whole life beyond comprehension, but I want to say this.  I persevered and had to have a nervous breakdown, but eventually she has become a rock and is paying for our tmt in Barcelona.  She is totally OK about the DE as well, and she thinks the sun shines out of dh's **** which took 11 years to achieve but now we are there, so don't give up  :-*

I think it's right, our mothers have been mothers, and didn't have the freedom we have to choose, my mum spent so long lecturing me on not getting pregnant til I met the right man and had a SECURE relationship blah blah blah that I think she knows that she is partly responsible for me leaving it so late...Sis was lucky at 39 produced Thomas and is pg with nr2 without even trying I am getting used to that.. :'(

hope that helps a bit

Love bigJ ::)
 

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dear bigj
big big congrats on the no smoking, you are a star.

welcome to the club of annoying mothers!!!!!
but where would we be with out them.
good luck for the future. ^fairydust^
^Cuddle^

love
karenj
 
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