Potty Training
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Hi Kim
Children all do this at different times and when they want to!
Generally speaking, children go through 3 stages.
Firstly, they are aware that their nappy is wet/ soiled but dont say anything. They have no control at this stage. If you attempt toiteting here, it is more likely to be luck if they go onto the toilet/potty.
Secondly, they know when they are going bot cant stop it. Again during this stage any successes on the potty can be luck. If you start to early there will be losts of accidents.
Lastly, and this is where you will find potty training most successful, the child knows when they want to go. There may still be a few accidents if caught short or busy playing.
Approx 50% of children are dry during the day by the time they are two. Potty training is discussed at the childs 21-24 month development.
Wearing cotton pants is better as the pull ups (although they look like real pants) do actually feel like a nappy so you may find that your child still goes to the toilet in them.
I know some parents have managed to toilet at the age of one, but this is unusual and depends upon the development of the child. Look at the stage that they are at (from the above) and take it from there.
Let me know if I can be of any more help. Its a very big subject!
Love
Jeanettex
Children all do this at different times and when they want to!
Generally speaking, children go through 3 stages.
Firstly, they are aware that their nappy is wet/ soiled but dont say anything. They have no control at this stage. If you attempt toiteting here, it is more likely to be luck if they go onto the toilet/potty.
Secondly, they know when they are going bot cant stop it. Again during this stage any successes on the potty can be luck. If you start to early there will be losts of accidents.
Lastly, and this is where you will find potty training most successful, the child knows when they want to go. There may still be a few accidents if caught short or busy playing.
Approx 50% of children are dry during the day by the time they are two. Potty training is discussed at the childs 21-24 month development.
Wearing cotton pants is better as the pull ups (although they look like real pants) do actually feel like a nappy so you may find that your child still goes to the toilet in them.
I know some parents have managed to toilet at the age of one, but this is unusual and depends upon the development of the child. Look at the stage that they are at (from the above) and take it from there.
Let me know if I can be of any more help. Its a very big subject!
Love
Jeanettex
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12,894 Posts
Thanks Jeanette.
Joe will be 20 months on the 4th september and i have been wondering when should i start. He is actually wearing pull up pants but not because we are potty training him. I will buy him some cotton pants to train him.
Thanks for your tips i will keep an eye on him as to when to start.
love kim x x x
Joe will be 20 months on the 4th september and i have been wondering when should i start. He is actually wearing pull up pants but not because we are potty training him. I will buy him some cotton pants to train him.
Thanks for your tips i will keep an eye on him as to when to start.
love kim x x x
Joined
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8,035 Posts
Hi Kim
I made an early decision not to rush into potty training. It seems to me that the earlier you start, the longer it can take. I also wanted to avoid potties, so decided to leave it a bit longer for this reason.
Anyway, Jack was 2 years and about 3 months when we bought him a toilet seat and started getting him used to sitting on it and after a couple of weeks he started having a wee before going in the bath and was always watching dh and I go and showing lots of interest in what we were doing. He was also telling me when he'd done a wee or poo in his nappy.
At 2 years and 7 months I decided to bite the bullet (terrifying!) and take his nappy off for good (he went straight into cotton pants (the pull ups were too much like nappies and he couldn't tell the difference). The first day, I sat him on care mats in the room when he was playing and took him to the toilet every 20 minutes. We had around 2 accidents that morning and by lunch time I was stressing, so decided he'd have a nappy back on. We then put him in pants for a few hours a day (usually in the morning when we weren't so tired) and nappies for the rest. After about 2 weeks he suddenly just went to the toilet on his own and announced that he'd been, and at this point we took his nappies off completely in the day time (whilst we were at home). He still wears a nappy to bed (and I think it'll be a few months yet before he's ready to stop this).
The next step was taking him out without a nappy and I did this for the first time about 4 weeks or so ago, when I was confident he knew when he wanted to go and was having no accidents at home. He was fine. He just asked for the loo when he needed it and I always make sure I know where the nearest one is so he can go. If there's not one nearby then, it's a bush
(only had to do that once though so far, and that was yesterday!). He can hold on. Apparently bladder capacity increases significantly between 2.5 and 3 years.
My tip is that if you're in no hurry, wait as long as you can. I reckon 2 and a half years is ideal (although I know many will disagree and do it earlier). I found that by waiting that extra bit of time (against all the naggings from my mother and friends), made life a lot easier. I've only cleaned up 2 puddles from my carpet and have had no other accidents at all. I was so scared about doing it and actually it was dead easy in the end. Also by waiting that extra bit of time, Jack was able to pull his own pants up and down and get on and off the toilet alone. He also has now learnt to do standing up wees, which is fantastic when you're out and about in public toilets as he doesn't touch them at all. He's a pretty good aim too
I also read somewhere that if you start at 2 you'll be done by 3 and if you start at 3 you'll be done by 3. Makes sense to me. Although I started at 2.5 and am done by almost 3 (in October). Saying that though, there's the night times to sort, and I suspect he may be done by 3 for this (but once again, I'm in no hurry to rush it).
Good luck for whenever you choose, the main thing is to stay relaxed about it and don't let you or Joe get stressed. Give it a go when you want and if it doesn't work put him back in nappies without a second thought and try again in a few weeks time. No rush!
Another tip is that whilst lots of praise is initially a great idea, I found that this praise led to lots and lots and lots of false trips to the toilet, so had to tone it down after a few weeks. At the end of the day, it's great to encourage them, but I think they also need to realise that it's a normal part of being human and not really something to cheer about every time. You have to find that balance of encouragement and normality.
Love
J
I made an early decision not to rush into potty training. It seems to me that the earlier you start, the longer it can take. I also wanted to avoid potties, so decided to leave it a bit longer for this reason.
Anyway, Jack was 2 years and about 3 months when we bought him a toilet seat and started getting him used to sitting on it and after a couple of weeks he started having a wee before going in the bath and was always watching dh and I go and showing lots of interest in what we were doing. He was also telling me when he'd done a wee or poo in his nappy.
At 2 years and 7 months I decided to bite the bullet (terrifying!) and take his nappy off for good (he went straight into cotton pants (the pull ups were too much like nappies and he couldn't tell the difference). The first day, I sat him on care mats in the room when he was playing and took him to the toilet every 20 minutes. We had around 2 accidents that morning and by lunch time I was stressing, so decided he'd have a nappy back on. We then put him in pants for a few hours a day (usually in the morning when we weren't so tired) and nappies for the rest. After about 2 weeks he suddenly just went to the toilet on his own and announced that he'd been, and at this point we took his nappies off completely in the day time (whilst we were at home). He still wears a nappy to bed (and I think it'll be a few months yet before he's ready to stop this).
The next step was taking him out without a nappy and I did this for the first time about 4 weeks or so ago, when I was confident he knew when he wanted to go and was having no accidents at home. He was fine. He just asked for the loo when he needed it and I always make sure I know where the nearest one is so he can go. If there's not one nearby then, it's a bush
(only had to do that once though so far, and that was yesterday!). He can hold on. Apparently bladder capacity increases significantly between 2.5 and 3 years. My tip is that if you're in no hurry, wait as long as you can. I reckon 2 and a half years is ideal (although I know many will disagree and do it earlier). I found that by waiting that extra bit of time (against all the naggings from my mother and friends), made life a lot easier. I've only cleaned up 2 puddles from my carpet and have had no other accidents at all. I was so scared about doing it and actually it was dead easy in the end. Also by waiting that extra bit of time, Jack was able to pull his own pants up and down and get on and off the toilet alone. He also has now learnt to do standing up wees, which is fantastic when you're out and about in public toilets as he doesn't touch them at all. He's a pretty good aim too
I also read somewhere that if you start at 2 you'll be done by 3 and if you start at 3 you'll be done by 3. Makes sense to me. Although I started at 2.5 and am done by almost 3 (in October). Saying that though, there's the night times to sort, and I suspect he may be done by 3 for this (but once again, I'm in no hurry to rush it).
Good luck for whenever you choose, the main thing is to stay relaxed about it and don't let you or Joe get stressed. Give it a go when you want and if it doesn't work put him back in nappies without a second thought and try again in a few weeks time. No rush!
Another tip is that whilst lots of praise is initially a great idea, I found that this praise led to lots and lots and lots of false trips to the toilet, so had to tone it down after a few weeks. At the end of the day, it's great to encourage them, but I think they also need to realise that it's a normal part of being human and not really something to cheer about every time. You have to find that balance of encouragement and normality.
Love
J
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279 Posts
J, Jeanette & Woppa,
Kirstie is only 5 months old (5 months today) so I wont have to worry about this for ages yet but I was interested to see all your comments and advice. It's funny I always thought that the pull up pants seemed like a really good idea but from what you've all said it seems that they just confuse the issue.
J - It sounds like Jack's definitely getting there! Can I just ask why you wanted to avoid potties? Is it because it might be hard to get them to move on to the loo later? Like I say I've got plenty of time yet before I have to worry about toilet training but might as well start finding out the basics now.
And Woppa I can see why you would be a fan on the jelly shoes!
Love Allie
Kirstie is only 5 months old (5 months today) so I wont have to worry about this for ages yet but I was interested to see all your comments and advice. It's funny I always thought that the pull up pants seemed like a really good idea but from what you've all said it seems that they just confuse the issue.
J - It sounds like Jack's definitely getting there! Can I just ask why you wanted to avoid potties? Is it because it might be hard to get them to move on to the loo later? Like I say I've got plenty of time yet before I have to worry about toilet training but might as well start finding out the basics now.
And Woppa I can see why you would be a fan on the jelly shoes!
Love Allie
Joined
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8,035 Posts
Hi Allie
I wanted to avoid potties as I didn't fancy having to teach Jack to use one thing and then having to teach him to use the toilet. It just seemed like extra work to me when at the end of the day we go to the toilet on a toilet. Also, all the cleaning out of potties seemed like more effort. I was already wiping bottoms, so didn't want to then start wiping out potties when I could just pull the flush. Also, when you use potties you have to carry them when you're out and about as your child only wants to go on that and not a public toilet, whereas if you're using the toilet all you need is a pack of disinfectant wipes for the loo seat and off you go. At first I thought I'd need to carry a loo seat with me, but Jack was confident by the time we went out without nappies and he either held my hand or the seat to balance himself. Now he's a big boy though and stands up
I think there is a place for potties, and obviously it's up to an individual if they want to use them. Also, your child may be too nervous of the toilet to start with (fear of falling down, flushing, etc), and then potties are ideal. I was lucky in that Jack never minded the toilet and I just didn't feel potties were necessary. Also, I think waiting the extra time helped him not be scared of the toilet. He showed interest in it long before I started sitting him on it, and by then he wasn't nervous.
I suppose I'd say to just wait and see how baby reacts to the toilet and if you can get away with not using potties then fantastic, but if baby is too nervous of the toilet then potties are the way to go. Maybe just try the toilet first and go from there. There's no hard and fast rules, just wait until your child is showing signs and don't stress about it. It really is easier than you expect it to be if you get the timing right (which I reckon is definitely after the age of about 2 yrs 4 months).
Love
J
I wanted to avoid potties as I didn't fancy having to teach Jack to use one thing and then having to teach him to use the toilet. It just seemed like extra work to me when at the end of the day we go to the toilet on a toilet. Also, all the cleaning out of potties seemed like more effort. I was already wiping bottoms, so didn't want to then start wiping out potties when I could just pull the flush. Also, when you use potties you have to carry them when you're out and about as your child only wants to go on that and not a public toilet, whereas if you're using the toilet all you need is a pack of disinfectant wipes for the loo seat and off you go. At first I thought I'd need to carry a loo seat with me, but Jack was confident by the time we went out without nappies and he either held my hand or the seat to balance himself. Now he's a big boy though and stands up
I think there is a place for potties, and obviously it's up to an individual if they want to use them. Also, your child may be too nervous of the toilet to start with (fear of falling down, flushing, etc), and then potties are ideal. I was lucky in that Jack never minded the toilet and I just didn't feel potties were necessary. Also, I think waiting the extra time helped him not be scared of the toilet. He showed interest in it long before I started sitting him on it, and by then he wasn't nervous.
I suppose I'd say to just wait and see how baby reacts to the toilet and if you can get away with not using potties then fantastic, but if baby is too nervous of the toilet then potties are the way to go. Maybe just try the toilet first and go from there. There's no hard and fast rules, just wait until your child is showing signs and don't stress about it. It really is easier than you expect it to be if you get the timing right (which I reckon is definitely after the age of about 2 yrs 4 months).
Love
J
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8,035 Posts
YIPEEEE Jack has woken up for the past 5 mornings in a row with a dry nappy and has asked to go to the toilet. I was dreading doing the night time training, but it seems he's doing it for himself. If he carries on for another couple of mornings I'm going to go with pants at bedtime, and put some care mats between the sheet and matress, and keep everything crossed.
Couple of problems though. Firstly, he's due to move bedrooms soon and from his cot into a bed for the first time (to make way for new baby). So I'm hoping this won't set him back. It may do, but knowing what he's like, I don't think it will. He's soooo excited about his new bed and bedroom.
Secondly, whilst he'll happily do a poo on the toilet. He hasn't done it very often as usually he does it in his nappy on waking, and then he's sorted for the day when he's in pants. For the past 3 mornings he hasn't done a poo, and as far as I'm aware he hasn't done one on a toilet either. Hopefully he'll do this today. I'm panicking now that he'll end up with a bad tummy as he's holding back. When he has done a poo on the toilet he has to go back and fore a few times before achieving it as he obviously feels the need to go, and then by the time he gets there it's gone and he doesn't have the patience to sit and wait.
I suppose this will sort itself out naturally. It's got to come out sometime and I've been giving him Weetabix the past few mornings to help things along. He eats plenty of fruit and veg every day anyway and always drinks plenty of water, so I'm not worried he's constipated. He's just holding back.
J
Jack has woken up for the past 5 mornings in a row with a dry nappy and has asked to go to the toilet. I was dreading doing the night time training, but it seems he's doing it for himself. If he carries on for another couple of mornings I'm going to go with pants at bedtime, and put some care mats between the sheet and matress, and keep everything crossed. Couple of problems though. Firstly, he's due to move bedrooms soon and from his cot into a bed for the first time (to make way for new baby). So I'm hoping this won't set him back. It may do, but knowing what he's like, I don't think it will. He's soooo excited about his new bed and bedroom.
Secondly, whilst he'll happily do a poo on the toilet. He hasn't done it very often as usually he does it in his nappy on waking, and then he's sorted for the day when he's in pants. For the past 3 mornings he hasn't done a poo, and as far as I'm aware he hasn't done one on a toilet either. Hopefully he'll do this today. I'm panicking now that he'll end up with a bad tummy as he's holding back. When he has done a poo on the toilet he has to go back and fore a few times before achieving it as he obviously feels the need to go, and then by the time he gets there it's gone and he doesn't have the patience to sit and wait.
I suppose this will sort itself out naturally. It's got to come out sometime
and I've been giving him Weetabix the past few mornings to help things along. He eats plenty of fruit and veg every day anyway and always drinks plenty of water, so I'm not worried he's constipated. He's just holding back. J
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Just reading back on my past replies on this thread about what I did when training Jack, and can't believe I am now getting ready to toilet train Ben. Have got the week off next week, so going to start on Monday morning. We're doing lots of practice on the toilet between now and then though (I'm not going to us a potty), with Ben sitting on his little seat reading a book. Going to do exactly the same with Jack as I did for Ben initially and then just adapt it as I go to suit Ben. Ben's a little younger than Jack, but I do feel he's ready, so going to give it a go. Will let you know how I get on
Jayne x
Jayne x
Just need some advice please girls.
Joseph took his nappy off last Wednesday when he was at home with us and has been dry right through until Monday. He was asking to go to the toilet and was even dry for 3 mornings in a row!
He went back to nursery on Monday and had 1 accident. I though nothing of it. He had been off nursery for a week so i just put it down to getting used to the routine again and settling in.
He then had 3 accidents yesterday and 2 today.!!!
At home he continues to ask for the toilet and is dry all the time!
Nursery says this is normal as he is too occupied in what he is doing. We went to a party and a bbq when he was off and he had no accidents then!!
I want to get annoyed with nursery as I feel that maybe they don't ask him enough to go to the toilet and you do need to ask Joseph. And when he asks to go you need to take him NOW!! Not in 10 more secs when you have finished gossiping. Phil says it is all fine.
Am I being unreasonable? Is this a normal pattern?
I am just so disappointed as he had been doing so well.
Sorry to sound off
Sara
Joseph took his nappy off last Wednesday when he was at home with us and has been dry right through until Monday. He was asking to go to the toilet and was even dry for 3 mornings in a row!
He went back to nursery on Monday and had 1 accident. I though nothing of it. He had been off nursery for a week so i just put it down to getting used to the routine again and settling in.
He then had 3 accidents yesterday and 2 today.!!!
At home he continues to ask for the toilet and is dry all the time!
Nursery says this is normal as he is too occupied in what he is doing. We went to a party and a bbq when he was off and he had no accidents then!!
I want to get annoyed with nursery as I feel that maybe they don't ask him enough to go to the toilet and you do need to ask Joseph. And when he asks to go you need to take him NOW!! Not in 10 more secs when you have finished gossiping. Phil says it is all fine.
Am I being unreasonable? Is this a normal pattern?
I am just so disappointed as he had been doing so well.
Sorry to sound off
Sara
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