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whirligig and Minerva,  I totally empathise with you and I'm trying to grow a thicker skin. I've come to the conclusion that it's nothing to do with anyone else, if we're happy with it. I wish I could have had my babies earlier but I was never in a relationship where this could happen, so have gone it alone. At least, we can focus on our babies as we've done lots of things younger mums wish they could do. I don't interfere with anyone else and believe in live and let live, where it doesn't harm anyone else, but some people think they have a right to comment. I get a bit paranoid at times, but believe me your babies will love you above anyone else, they don't care how old you are. I would do anything for my babies. I go to groups where I feel comfortable and people know me and know I'm mum and don't make comments. They're more intrigued about me doing sperm donor!
Thankfully both my pregnancies were fine. I was tired but I think that's normal in pregnancy. I think the consultants were amazed by how well I did. I didn't get gestational diabetes or high blood pressure. I actually lost weight after both pregnancies so I am fitter than before (I think that's why people sometimes think I'm grandma - I've gone quite a bit thinner and I think it's made me look older - lol!) All we can do is try to look after ourselves and be there for our little ones.
Good luck ladies - go for  it!
 

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Whirlygig, thank you a million! So we are age mates as well as our babies ;D
gosh, I'm the same..this embarrassment is haunting me. My belly is not big but I'm sure many people think I'm just fat. Feeling very uncomfortable when someone stares at me trying figure out what the matter with me. But we shouldn't think it's bad, right? why it's we who need to be ashamed? :-[
I'll try to be more easy-going about this. Thank you for being so supportive. Praying for your happiness xx
 

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deblovescats, right you are again dear! You did amazing thing alone, incredible strong woman. Your words reassured me and made me feel really better. I always think about what would I do if I have babies earlier but never thought about what I actually did while being childless. I lived for myself and did whatever I wanted, sure lots of young women who became mothers early may envy my lifestyle. thank you for making my thoughts much more positive. I'll do my best for my baby boys as well as you did!
:-*
 

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Whirlygig said:
MyreiE, I love that you're experiencing motherhood and pregnancy being a young mum and an older one. Seeing it from all angles must be amazing. What are the differences physically/mentally, do you think?
My 1st, I was perfectly fine energy-wise and worked til 4 days before giving birth. This pregnancy, I'm completely exhausted. Taking the washing downstairs is an effort!
Sorry for the slow response Whirlygig...

The differences...physically... LOL... A LOT.. the first time around I do not recall having such low energy. I literally must lay down every 2-3 hours this time around. First time around was happy all the time. I really loved being pregnant. I walked everyday up the hill on my college campus with gusto and I do not recall the achy legs, shooting pain in my tailbone, difficulty sleeping every night, counting the days and hours until it is over! Even 11 years ago with my twins it wasn't this hard! I feel somewhat guilty that DH doesn't get to see me like I was..all happy and giddy with the expectancy of being a new mom. I will be honest and say that mostly I feel like an incubator and I am just waiting for the day when I can deliver! Is that so wrong? Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that our four-year TTC journey has finally paid off. I am bonding and attaching as I have whole conversations with my bump throughout the day.. But I cannot ignore the "WHEN WILL IT BE OVER!" every muscle and bone is screaming at me!

On the emotional/mental side, there is really no fear about what kind of mom will I be, will I really be able to keep a little human alive? OMG she is going to be totally dependent on me! I have no idea what I am doing! Things like that. Instead I am focused on..ok what did I do wrong with the others? how can I make this one absolutely perfect in every way.. this is my last shot at having a girly girl (my 11 year old daughter threw all dolls in the trash or offered them for sale to every visitor to our house!) LOL.. honestly I am just so happy for DH..he gets to experience the joys of raising one from infancy at last..so I am really looking forward to seeing all of his first time reactions as well as the flubs..hehe!

Hope everyone is doing well!
-M
 

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I can totally understand how you're feeling, I go through it all the time! People can be so negative, but I think ignore them. I've had loads of positivity from friends, work colleagues and family so that's what I focus on. One of my colleagues was so happy for me, she cried when she found out I was pregnant first time. They've been so supportive. I go to groups and focus on the older mums (yes there are some at groups) and no one has questioned me there. When I was pregnant, my midwife was very supportive and I didn't get real issues from any medical staff. At the end of the day, if you're happy with it it's nothing to do with them. I love my children, I've waited years to have them and am doing it alone as I'm single and no partner on the horizon, but wouldn't go back now. I had my first baby at 47, my son is now nearly 3, and was 49 when I had my daughter who is now 6 months. I had the milestone birthday of 50 in March, and am planning to go back for my 2 frosties later in the year to try for no 3. I love them and my life with them, so who cares what people think. It's our lives and we can be wonderful mums in our 40s and 50s. Let's all support each other on here.
Good on you girl. Good luck
This is amazing and giving me so much hope
 
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