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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so I'm a little ahead of myself ::) But we were wondering how people prepared their children for the arrival of number 2 (or 3,4 ,5 etc).

Obviously we have to get Amy out of the cot and into a bed before this baby arrives but what else should we be thinking about??

Only just realising what we have gone and let ourselves in for!!!  ;D ;D
 

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Hiya deb
just wanted to say congratulations xx cant give you any advice but really chuffed for you all x
love lou
 

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Hi

I've been doing plenty of worrying, thinking about this myself, I Pm'd Chux, she's been a great help and putting my mind at rest about the worries which have included, will A hate me for sharing my time with another child?, Potty Training and moving him into a bed...

Your news have left a permanent  :) on my face...

Good luck

Bev xx
 

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To be honest I don't think you can prepare them or plan - you know what they say about the best laid plans!!

I wouldn't stress too much about getting Amy out of her cot/nappies etc etc if she's not ready - even if you do manage it she'll probably regress! Can you borrow a crib to buy you a bit more time? We actually bought a second cotbed although our gap is smaller, and J still has the sides on as he has made no attempt to get out and as long as he's happy 'caged', he can stay like it!!

LOL Bev, same as I said to you, the worries are all completely normal but things do just fall into place!

Chux xx
 

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Debs- I've been wondering much the same, Isabel will be a little younger when her little sister arrives but did wonder about the bed thing and my mum seems to think should have her out of nappies but I've decided not rushing anything the arrival of a new baby will cause enough of a change for her, OK yes if we feel she is ready to go into a bed then would do it before but not rushing her out so spud can have the cot.  We have got a crib for baby for a nearly new sale so baby can be with is a bit longer (Isabel only lasted 5 weeks in moses basket) as they will have to sahre a room so don't want to rush that onto Isabel either
 

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I'm not at the 'preparing for #2' yet but this is what my sis did when she was expecting her DD.

My sister's DS was only 6mths old when she got preggy. So, when her DD was born, he was 15mths old. Her DS has moved into a cotbed and they are only just looking at potty training now, as DS is 21mths old now and he's used to his sister being there.

When my sister was preggy, her DS used to point to her tummy (or mine!!) when he was asked where the baby was!!
 

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Hi Hun

Congratulated you elsewhere ... but congratulations again  ;D

Think with only 16 months between my mucnkins I am "qualified" to answer  ;)  We had no sibling arrival problems  :)
As they get older we have rivarly problems but they are different ... and to be honest - nice and manageable ... my two love each other to bits.

Number one piece of advice has to be to make sure that Amy is aware that you are going to have another baby ... but that is "our" baby, "her" baby, not just "yours".

I remember so so clearly when F met E for the first time .. she was a couple of hours old and he just said "Oh wow ... Gosh!".  He the called her "gosh" for weeks!  Magical!!!!

Personally, I wouldn't even think about getting Amy out of a cot.
They are pretty secure things and give you valuable moments of "safe" time when you need it.
We didn't move F to a bed until he was 2 1/2 years.  (Have just ordered E's bed)

My other top tip is to remember when number 2 arrives is that number 1 is still your baby too.  I made a point of ensuring, no matter what, that F and I still had our snuggle/milk time at night.  It then naturally progressed to he would drink his milk on the settee whilst I fed E and put her to bed.  We still have this "routine" now and it is my godsend .. incorporates special times/hugs for everyone and maintains routine/good bedtime.

Good luck, hun

Love
Dee
xxx
 

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Debs I'm so excited about your news!!!  Yours too Bev!!!  :) :)

I take a month or so off and look what happens - lots more babies!!!  lovely.   :)

I decided that there should be as little other disruption as possible in Matthew's life - I wouldn't recommend therefore breaking your ankle late on in pregnancy  ;D ;D - but essentially that meant getting things like potty training and big beds done and out of the way long before the new baby arrived, or not doing it at all until a while after the baby came.

Matthew can climb out of his cot, and has been able to for a long time, but by some miracle chooses only to do this in the morning, not when he goes to bed, so we decided not to take the cot away just yet.  Sadie will be sleeping in it eventually, but we'll make the transition in a month or two once he's got over Sadie's arrival.  For now she's in a moses basket in our room anyway so we have time.  I'm told the last thing you should do is take the cot away and then immediately give it to the baby - that's bad form for siblings  ;D

Potty training also for the same reasons - too much upheaval, and in practical terms I didn't want to be having to rush him to the loo to avoid accidents just when the baby decided it needed a feed - so we've left that til Summer as well.

As it is, M waits til I'm feeding S to suddenly decide to do all sorts of things that involve my participation (or my annoyance!)  ;D with something as sensitive as potty training you need to be able to give it your full attention.

In terms of talking about the new baby coming it depends on what your first child can really take in, I didn't start talking about it until I had an obvious bump, and until I was as sure as I could be that all would go well with the pregnancy - ie after 20 weeks - as I didn't want to get him excited (or upset!) about the new baby if it was not to be.

We got a couple of very good children's books about the new baby, at first he didn't really get it, but after a while he started saying there's a baby in mummy's tummy and I primed him on things like what we'd do with the baby - "give it some milk and change its nappy"  :)  

Now we're having to read some other books about what babies can and can't do - ie that they're basically pretty boring for toddlers!! as any negative behaviour he has towards her seems to be related to him wanting her to play with him, or he's just a bit too rough with her.  
Also we had to talk alot about how babies cry and they're not upset when they cry, usually just hungry or tired.  Matthew's childminder had been doing some good stuff talking about it and practising with a doll that cries, which was sweet of her.

Last bit of advice - get some help from friends or relatives to get you time to do the things you normally do with Amy so that she doesn't see a huge difference in her life, but also make sure you get some baby time to yourself as well so if she doesn't already do them, start some routine(ish) experiences like toddler groups, going to a nursery or a minder for a few hours a week so that she can go off and be herself and do her own thing while you get to have a bath, cuddle the baby or in my case, just have it stuck to your boob for entire morning  ::) ;D  
M was at an age where I felt he needed some alternative care anyway so I found a minder for a couple of mornings a week a few months before S was due, to get him established so he felt it was 'his time' and I wasn't just dumping him with someone else now the baby was here.  He loves going to her and it seems to give him some light relief from the baby being in the house most of the time.  :)  

Wow! good luck! good to be thinking about it with plenty of time to sort things out

Claire x
 

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Bev - just seen your ticker - Congratulations!!!

Must be the Spring air ......!

Deb, I would keep Amy in a cot as long as it still works for you.  Is space an issue?  The compact travel cots might be a good way to help on that front and I think you can get a proper mattress to fit?

I'm sure she'll be great - you can involve her helping look after the baby - is it worth getting her a baby doll to help her learn what the baby will be like?  I'm not sure.. NO experience her so more than the blind leading the blind....!! 


 

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Hi

One of the best things I did was get all of babies things out at about 34weeks so Amy got used to having them around and seeing the moses basket etc - by the time hannah came the novelty of playing with the baby things had long worn off!
One other thing which some may disagree with, was to show amy a birth programme. And was I glad I did - Hannah was so quick Amy had to come in the car with us to hospital whilst I was on all fours in the front in full labour and only an hour from delivery. She was not bothered and even sat stroking my hair and singing to me, she did say 'the baby's coming isn't mummy, it's going to hurt'!!!!!!!!!!! Now I know that preparing her for what she may see was a good decision and I just told her bare facts, like which bit baby was coming out of, it may hurt and mummy may make funny noises lol.

The other advice is good, don't rush her into a bed but if you want to do it make sure it's well before babies arrival.

You'll be fine.
congratulations x x x x x
 

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Gosh Deb, I don't have any advice, but I have only just seen your news.  I just wanted to send massive congratulations and hugs to you.

^hugme^

:)

Jane
xx
 

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Wow Debs - congratulations - fantastic news  :)

I have ~21 between the 3 of mine and the difference to how each of them coped is incredible. I therefore don't really think you can 'prepare' too much as a lot of how they will react will be down to their personalities - Lucas and Henry are poles apart.

Henry is very forward and we did a lot of talking about a new baby, reading a couple of books (I was even given about having your 2nd baby to help dh & I prepare  ::)) and generally preparing him. You can imagine our horror when Henry turned into a monster when Lucas arrived....after all our preparation  ::) He took to slapping him at every opportunity! I think maybe we made too much of a big deal about it tbh and then Lucas arrived I think he was a bit dissapointed that new babies can't do anything, can't play, cry a lot and spend lots of time being cuddled by mummy and daddy  ;D

Lucas on the other hand is only just stringing 2-3 words together and we didn't do anything with him apart from telling him there was a baby in mummy's tummy when I had a big bump. He's been an absolute poppet and loves Rory like you wouldn't believe - lots of gentle cuddles & kisses and this morning was even helping me to wind him  ;D He really has been no problem at all

I wouldn't make any big changes in Amy's life within a few months either side of EDD - that's what I was recommended - keep everything nice and normal. Henry was left in his cot, we bought a new one. We didn't do potty training for several months after L arrived. For Lucas nothing has changed either...apart from Rory.

If Amy already goes to a childminder/nursery then keep that up, even if one day a week as it's normal for them and gives you and them a break  ;) If she doesn't already go then maybe start her in a few months before the birth - i'd have gone cock-a-loopy mental if H & L didn't go to nursery 2 days a week (I know i'm very lucky to still be able to afford this). They even still go to nappy & grampy's on a Monday as that is normal for them - although Rory and I often go too (as I get a lovely dinner cooked for me  ;D)

And finally  ;D even though Amy still feels like a baby to you, I would make some sort of 'normal' discipline routine for her. We didn't with Henry and then when he was being naughty when Lucas arrived, introducing proper 'discipline' was just something new he had to deal with and probably didn't help matters - i.e. naughty step, toy removal or whatever.

It is normal to worry about getting prepared, organised etc for a new baby but, it won't be until baby arrives that things just fall into place and everything adapts very quickly and having 2 children becomes the 'norm'.....albeit a 'little' chaotic  ;D

Congrats again Debs & good luck with your pregnancy

S xxxx
 

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just to say like Shelley- we had none of the rivalry that everyone tells you that you'll have. Heather hs been fine with Lucy and has been so helpful getting things for her and playing with her.

I think its only now that Lucy is responding to Heather and smiling at her that she is more interested!

Also like Sarah we got a cot/highchair for dolly(both second hand!) but dolly was cuddled etc for weeks beore Lucy arrived.

We made the choice to put Heather in a bed at 18months when we moved house and she has been fine- we booted her out and put the cot up in the bedroom we had prepared for Lucy and never had any problems. Also Heather used to go in Lucys room before she was born to play with the things we had- dolly went in the moses basket and everything!

She has the odd moment where she'll say 'Lucy down' or 'Lucy chair' which usually means 'talk to me!' and she'll try and get on whoevers knee who has Lucy too- but generally theres not been any violence or tantrums.

Its fab! Enjoy- although I'm still looking for the extra pair of hands and eyes in back of head that I need............... ;D

love Rachel x
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks for all the advice (and comments) I think we are just in a state of shock at the moment ;D

Will have to go and lie in a darkened room to think about things ;)
 

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Don't think too hard hun -for starters, it hurts  ;D
and secondly it'll all just click into place - she says, on absolutely NO sleep  :eek:

Claire x
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
^tmi^ not listening.
I'm starting to wonder if I can afford a full time nanny ;D ;D
 
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