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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi I am egg sharing and I was wondering how much contact the egg reciprient has with clinics. I wondered if you were told when the donor was coming in for scans etc and if you got an update on number of follies and stuff.  I know I cant say too much on here but I would love to know if my donor was being kept up to date with my progress and what they get told about on the day of egg collection.

Thanks
Libeth
xxx
 

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Hi Libeth,

I am an egg recipient but, I am having my treatment abroad so I can't really say from my own personal experience.  However, I do know a lady who is a recipient in the UK and she informs me that there isn't a huge amount of contact with the clinic.  She was informed when the donor started her period, when the scan was due and, she was told that the donor's responce to stims was good etc. but, she wasn't told how many follicles or potential eggs there was likely to be.  Having said that it may be different at your clinic but I am sure they wouldn't mind if you asked the question.

Good on you for being a donor, you have my complete admiration.

Hope all goes well for you chick.

Birchie
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Birchie
Thanks for the reply.  I asked my clinic yesterday after EC if they had contacted my reciprient and I was told they had - I got 20 eggs so she got 10 which I hope she is delighted with.  Been difficult at first egg sharing but actually a lot easier now as suddenly realised what I could have done to help someone. 

Just hope me and the reciprient get that BFP we all dream off.

xx
 

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Libeth,  ;)

Congratulations on getting so many eggs.  Bet your donor is over the moon, I know I would be. I hope you aren't suffering any discomfort though, 20 is a fantastic amount but you must feel a bit tender.

I saw you on the other thread and I was reading about your recent ordeal with the clinic, how awful.  ^hugme^ I hope things go well for you today.

Good luck and I hope you get the BFP that you so rightly deserve.

Birchie xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi Birchie
Thanks for your message - am pretty sore but got my embies on board now and just crossing everything! Hopefully me and my reciprient get our BFPs - am lucky because I am at home off work which is good as its quite uncomfortable still but am sure its all going to be worth it.  I also feel grateful to the reciprient as I know they will be pleased with 10 eggs and if they didnt want an egg donor I would have struggled with the cost of IVF so hopefully it will work for us both

xx
 

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That's fantastic, I am soooo happy for you chick.

It's good you are off work, you can have a nice rest now, just what you need. 

From a donor recipient perspective, I reckon your recipient will be feeling very emotional right now and eternally grateful to you too.  When I first got matched, I went home and told my DH and we both started crying  ::).  I lay in bed that night and all I could think about was "her" - even though I didn't know her, I felt so much gratitude for what she was doing for us and I am sure your recipient will feel the same way, even if it doesn't work for her this time. You have given her a chance, a chance she wouldn't have had, had it not been for you.  I know it's such an expense this ivf business but I am glad that there was a way round things "financially" for you.

Good luck on the 2ww and I really do hope that BFP is waiting round the corner for you.

Take care love,

Birchie xxx

 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thats so nice to read about the reciprient feeling like that.  Its lovely to know that something I can do can make such a difference to someone else and reading your message about lying in bed talking to your DH makes the whole situation more human if that makes sense.  Technically I could afford IVF but since I am young enough it makes sense to be a donor.  I know I would want other women to do the same if I couldnt use my own eggs for any reason and I remember thinking that when we filled in the form and really trying to put myself in another womans shoes.

Off to bed now as shattered!

xx
 

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Can I ask when test day is? ^fingerscrossed^ for you.
I think the UK clinic's are allowed to disclose if your recipient has been successful, would you like to know if she had or not when the time comes? I hope you don't mind me asking this but, do you think about your recipient a lot? I think it will also help me if I knew a little about how the donor's feel too. (You don't have to answer if you don't want).

Personally, I haven't struggled with excepting the use of donor eggs and I am sure this sounds a bit weird, but I don't technically need to use them yet, (as such). I don't have any fertility problems, it's my DH. He has two children from his previous, disastrous marriage that broke down through no fault of his own. When his marriage was almost over, an appointment came through for his vasectomy and sadly, he went ahead and had the operation. Years on he met me and had a reversal, which worked but only for a short time. My DH developed sperm antibodies that began fighting off any sperm he was producing and his count went back to zero. We did have IVF using ICSI through surgical sperm extraction with my own eggs, but sadly that cycle failed. We were advised to try again as I produced a good number of eggs however, due to my age (40) I was worried about egg quality, miscarriage and birth defects. Both DH and I talked about it and we decided that donor eggs would give us the best chance of having a baby, so that's how I've arrived at the place I am at now. It's not all been plain sailing though, I've just had a cylce cancelled because our donor didn't produce enough eggs. As well as feeling disappointed, I felt upset for the donor too, I am having treatment in Spain and the donors there get paid, around £700 for their eggs.

Anyway, enough about me, you take good care of yourself. It's been lovely chatting to you. I'll look out for your "good news" ;)

Best Wishes

xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hi Birchie - no problem with any of your questions - its nice to read from the other womans side if that makes sense!

My test date is 9th May and have to confess to having a negative day today! 
I did wonder a lot about what my reciprient was going through when we were injecting and on the day of the scans as I wondered if she was told about the number of follicles I had.  I asked on collection day if they had informed her and I was told she had been.  I am pretty confident she would have been delighted with the ten eggs as I am sure that gives her a good chance.  I do wonder about the donor and if I have passed them in the clinic and stuff.  I am in 2 minds about knowing whether or not it has worked for her.  I desperately hope it works for us both but think if I get a negative then it might be hard finding out.  When I had the eggs collected one of the nurses joked that it was a shame we didnt get paid per egg!  I must admit that I wouldnt want any payment as to me its so nice to be able to do something which could help someone else achieve the same goal as me.  I can see why people would want a payment.  When I was going for the scans to see how the follies were doing I remember thinking I really hope I have enough eggs as I didnt want to disappoint my reciprient as I know how much they have riding on it and DH and I had already made the decision that if we didnt get enough to share we would give them all the the reciprient.  In a way it would be nice to know a little about the reciprients like why they have chosen donor eggs and what made them choose the donor (if thats how it happens).  I have images of the reciprient reading through a few notes about each donor and picking one!  Not too sure if thats right!  I remember when we went for the consulation about egg sharing and we were told that at our clinic at any one time there are 70 couples waiting for a donor and I thought that was heartbreaking and it made it so much easier to donate.

Anyway have just realised I have waffled on!
Hope its going ok with you and your tx - not sure where you are up to with it.

xxx
 

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Hi Libeth,

How are you doing today, feeling a bit more positive?  I hope so!  Laughed at the nurse's comment getting paid per egg, that would be good wouldn't it, especially in your case.

I can understand you not being so sure about knowing if your recipient had been successful, it's probably better left alone for the mo, you can always find out later if you want to.

It's the clinic that matches the recipients with donors.  Recipients give a criteria ie. dark hair, blue eyes, height and so on but that's about it.  Do donors get any preferences to who their eggs go to ie. can you insist that your eggs go to a married couple, a none smoking woman or someone of a certain religion for example?

As mentioned in my earlier post, I have just had a cancelled cycle, as our donor didn’t produce enough eggs.  Thankfully we got matched up pretty quickly with another donor and all being well, we are due to go out to Spain on the 19th so I’ll keep you posted how we get on this time.

Hope the remainder of the two week wait goes quickly for you. 9th May isn’t too far away now but I bet it feels like it to you.

Take care, I'll be thinking of you.

Birchie
 

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Hi all,

  Hope you don't mind me jumping in.
1st things first - Libeth, Hope you got your long awaited BFP ^reiki^

I am just waiting to be matched to a receiptant at my clinic and came on this board in search of what will happen from the receiptants side now...

The nurse at my clinic literally wrote down a list and put it on the egg share co-ordinators desk saying "Please seek a match for.. "my age, height, hair colour, eye colour, BMI, & skin Tone" And also stating Donor wishes to donate to "criteria i had said"

I was aked questions about whether i wanted my donor to be under a certain age, Married, Single, Gay (they treat gay at my clinic you see). Nurse concentrated on the age more then anything which was strange and informed me she had 2 people in mind but it would depend upon whether i had a restriction on the age limit!

My requests were that i wanted my eggs to be donated to a "couple" whether married or not i don't mind what age they are who am i to say someone is 'too old' to have a chance at being a mum & dad, or that they shouldn't because they are not married. Also that they started right at the bottom of the list to the people that had been on the list the longest, & that was it!

Now what happens now? I have been told that the receiptant they match will be called on probably Wednesday next week & offered my eggs. Now my treatment cannot start untill after the 28th May as we are waiting on my Dp's Sperm Retreval after that we will know when we can start. As a receiptant are you told to start the pill on your next AF so you can be 'inline'?

I am courious as to how this is now going to work, As i was told i will more then likely start on my next cycle being 10th June however after Dp's SSR we are not booked in untill 13th June of which we were told will be our planning meeting.. I thought they would need to of booked me in before the 10th? so they will be able to tell receiptant when my AF started, Or does it work differently? I think we will not start on my next cycle at all as i find it very hard to believe it really is that easy! i.e next cycle start and the receiptant will be ready  ^idiot^

The reason's i am asking all this is because i wanted to know my treatment start dates (which was why i asked the nurse) As it is my little sisters 21st Birthday in July and she has the idea of a family holiday which i would love to go on but it all depends on treatment as to whether i go, SHe has offered to put it on hold but i will feel really guilty if she does and then i don;t start treatment next cycle  ::)

Sorry for the long post.

x

Thanks All.

Oh & i have been told i cannot find out if receiptant has been successful untill 1 year on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Hi
I got my BFP!!  Thrilled to bits!  But got OHSS too!  But can cope!

Quite interesting that you got given quite a bit of info!  We literally filled in the form and like you I said I didnt mind how old a couple was if they wanted children so much they are bound to be excellent parents no matter of age.  We then got a phone call to say they had found a reciprient and I then started down regging on day one of my cycle.  It seems to vary from clinic to clinic though!  Not too sure when the reciprient starts to down regg or if they do?!  Very confusing! 

Really hope your DP SR goes well for you - there are lots of agonising hurdles on this journey!  I seemed to start tx really quickly once they found the reciprient and they said it was either day 21 or day 1 of cycle! 

We were told we can ask at any stage as to whether its worked for the reciprient but have chosen not to.

xx
 

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Congrats on your ^BFP^ ^BFP^ ^banana^ ^banana^ ^clapping^ ^clapping^

So pleased for you​

[fly]^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^[/fly]

I wish you all the best.

thank you for the well wishes for DP's SSR i'm ^pray^ the find some ^HappySperm^. There are sooo many hurdles from here on! i didn't know you could start on day 1?? I for some reason thought it was just day 21 ^idiot^ I guess i will find out more after Dp's op. I have been told it's ok for me to go him with him which i am excited about :)

xx
 
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