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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Guys,

I'm feeling a little lost! (in more than one way)

I find myself in a really unusual place in my head and I'm feeling very guilty about posting my feelings and thoughts on the other existing threads in the mens room. I know from experience that it's very difficult, when your trying so hard to achieve your dream, to keep reading posts from people who have achieved theirs. With this in mind I thought I'd start this new thread so that anyone who wishes to avoid my babbling can do so. I sincerely hope nobody minds my starting this, please, please let me know if so. (Is this ok Tony?)

I thought it would be good to have this kind of topic in the guys room so that when all you other guys' dreams come true, there'll already be somewhere to post.
Also, from reading the BITO thread, that there must be loads of partners to these pg women out there, who may just wish to join in.
I hope that this will become the most used thread in the mens room.......... coz that'll mean loads of you are living your dreams too!!

So............ wierd place!! - I've spent so much energy worrying about the treatment working over the past years that I never actually thought about what it would be like when it did. Now I find myself in that position I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself.
I am, of course, over joyed with our success, and filled with so much anticipation of what is to come, and amazement at what is happening.... right now!!.... in Angie's tummy, but I feel like the last 6 days have had something missing.
Not having to count the days till the next blood test, looking at the clock to see if it's time to give Angie a jab, looking constantly for signs of aunt flo, dreading negative news has left a huge hole, which I'm currently unable to fill.
To be perfectly honest, I still don't think I'm fully accepting the fact that Angie's pregnant. Unlike others, we didn't take hpt's early or anything, we waited till the hospital told us the result. It wasn't until last night, when I suddenly thought "God, what if the results were for someone else?" and asked Angie if she wanted to pee on the stick that we took our own hpt. Angie went in the loo, and I couldn't even be inthe same room, I came down stairs and waited for a moment. Then I had a sudden panic attack.... it's 8.15pm on a Sunday..... if that hpt's negative what the hell am I gonna do? Even 24hr Tesco's are closed now! I rushed back upstairs to find Angie sitting on the bed with the biggest grin on her face! Somehow, just seeing the result, for the first time, on a pee stick made it so much more real than it had been. Not sure I agree (on hygene rounds) that Angie should've taken it and shown all the family but she did!!!

We're back at Jessops tomorrow to get more bloods taken to see that the ph is rising ok. Funny...... not worried about that....... wonder if I'm too relaxed about all this now? ???

I don't know...... I'm just as lost for words and struggling to make sense of things as I was last Tuesday afternoon!! Sure I'll come to my senses soon!

Just to let you all know..... I'm not sure where it is going but........... I've started working on a book as some of you have suggested. It's very early days, and so far it's just ideas for the format (which is much harder than writing the actual topic content!!) but it's a start!!
The problem is that I have so much stuff I want to put in it but have no experience of putting it in a format which will be both appealing to readers and publishers alike!! Will keep you informed!

I told my other kids this weekend too....... I think I'll write about that another time though.

Well..... probably the most consfused and disorganized post there could possibly be for this topic....... you know me.. wanted to get it off to a good start!!

As always

Catch

^dancing spot^

[br]Posted on: November 08, 2004, 05:07:29 PMHi Paula,

I've so many ideas in my head for this book...... it could become a........... I don't know what (flop probably!). lol

Thanks for the kind wishes. We just rang for our results.............. ph level is 1854!

According to the clinic, this is either a very healthy singleton or an acceptable level for twins so guess what................. we're waiting for something again!!!!!

Oh well.......... will keep my mind occupied for next 10 days before scan!!

As always.....

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

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Catch

Great news on the bloods. Put me down for a copy when you have done it.

Love Kimx  x
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Kim,

thanks.

When you say "put me down for a copy" do you mean of the book or of Angie's bloods ^evil^?

As always

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

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^roflmao^  Er will pass on the bloods Catch. But will be interested in the book when its done. :)

Love Kim x x
 

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Catch
Been enjoying your recent posts.

Just been for our first scan and Jo has 9 good size follies.
There is some fluid visible but we have had this everytime and it is normally gone by egg collection.
So if it all goes according to plan I'll be able to post on here with you, man.
God I hope so.

Re the book - go for it.
I spoke to Jo about writing one myself, about a year ago.
The main reason was to give my child / children a chance to read about my life experiences and the feelings that went with them in particular about the IVF.
My ol' dad died when I was 9, so memories were limited, and I have been finding out a lot more about him recently and want to find out as much as I possibly can.
I want my children to have that info to hand.
I did make a start but didn't go any further with it, I think the time has to be right.

Anyway, all the very best to you both.
I'll let you know what happens with the treatment.

If you want to get a better picture of what I found out about my dad take a look at "My Dad" (funny that) in The Mens Room !!

Take it easy

Paul
 

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Hey Catch,

Great to hear the continuing good news. Maybe the waiting's never over eh? You are both (all 3 of you....er ..or maybe all 4  :) in our thoughts and prayers.
I run a bookshop and an online bookshop...so if I can ever be of any help in distribution in the future I have many contacts. Publishers are a bit hard nosed but you never know. Strange....I said to Sandra two or three years ago that I may write a book about all this...maybe it's because we don't talk as well as the ladies? that we feel the need to put pen to paper (or index finger to keyboard)?

I hope to be a fully fledged member of this thread too in late January....next cycle early Jan.
Later
Steve
 

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Lads
Don't want to tread on anyones toes but...
Just a thought- why don't we write a book between us ??
Write a chapter each, get it published and the proceeds could go to help running the site ??
I'm sure if we put our minds to it we could pull it off !!! No pun intended !!
Paul
 

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Tony whispers to Jac about ....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,17609.0.html[br]Posted on: November 10, 2004, 02:00:06 PMI was hoping that something like this would be introduced into the current WIP....... maybe it deserves a seperate publication..... Hmmmm....

You guys interested in running with this? I can provide the collaboration system ;)

Tony,
x
 

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Jac
That is exactly what I meant, just stories, feelings etc.
I am up for it, but I don't want to tread on Catch's toes if he has something planned. But it seems that a few of us have similar ideas.
Maybe "The Matter in Hand" for a title !!!
Better do some work, speak again later.
Take Care.
Paul.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Wow......... I take one day off and just look at what I miss!!! ;D

Paul,

Great news about the follies my friend, our prayers are with you for this cycle, really hoping it's yours and Jo's time!! ^fairydust^

Sounds to me, judging by comments from those who know you, that you've more than a few of your old man's characteristics!! Good reading that!!

I actually started replying to this thread at 8 this morning but had to dash out as Mum was having a moving day disaster (that would be a completely different story.... believe me!!) and I can't believe the topic of the thread since I didn't post! I wanted to ask for volunteers to write "guest" chapters for the book, and wanted to suggest that we helped ff out of any proceeds that were made. So, no toes stepped on at all, other than I wanted to ask you guys first!! :mad: (lol)
I wasn't aware of any wip by ff and certainly wouldn't wish to interfere with any plans there. I'm also conscious though that a dead-line can be a very daunting thing and can easily put off potential contributors. It may be that my ideas for the book are nothing like ff's, or anyone elses, and maybe there's be room for two publications? I think, if nothing else we should at least put all the cards on the table and have a serious discussion over it........ what do you guys think?

Chase my man,

Do you know......... I've read the courtship........ never twigged at all!! Sometimes have every good intention of engaging brain but........ nah!!

I do know all about the Hulk though!! Used to love that bit when he said "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"........... always thought his name was David Banner though! ;D

Think, when brain disengaged I'd prefer the 50p questions, so much easier to deal with than universal secrets, although I reckon I might be qualified to answer the "where do babies come from question" by now........ Angie and I were discussing it last night, do we say "well, actually we weren't there.......... but Rachel, our embriologist made you in a plastic dish!! "???

You would be an absolute must on my guest writer list Chase, so if we proceed with any plans you know you have to say yes!!!!!
(Just called Ben Elton and he's told me to s*d off so if it's ok still.......................?)

Yes, that's me doin my stuff in the piccie (I'm the one at the back!! ;) )

Hi Steve,

Thanks for the good vibes my friend,

Sounds like you could be a very handy man to know for this little venture..... your input would certainly be very welcome!!

I really do hope that January's your month mate, it would be such a great start to 2005! ^fairydust^

Jac,

I'm sure you know it but you are 1 in a million, I know Chase must tell you that all the time!! Thanks for all your support, not just for me but for everyone on this site!
(Yeah. I thought the 'dabble' comment was hilarious too! ^roflmao^ )

Tony,

I think you can take it as read (well certainly from me) that we're interested, some for reason's of prosperity, some to just release the stress, others for........ who knows what?, but I pretty much think we're all capable and willing. Lord knows I have the time (the e-business things just not worked out! long story... not going into it... looking for a project!)

Paul........... I've been losing sleep over a title............... not any more.... "The Matter In Hand" is fine by me!!!!!

Looking forward to more input and to hearing all your views.

As always.....

Catch

^dancing spot^[br]Posted on: November 10, 2004, 06:56:23 PM ^roflmao^ Jac,

Think that one might have to be included!

I can see you're excited!!! ME TOO!!!

Hoping you mean xmas 2005 and not THIS xmas!! With the best will in the world I couldn't type that quick!

Really think we need to come up with a game plan for this, a 'model' of how the final thing would be put together. Do we all have similar stories, should we tell them in a process order (ie pre-tx; tx; results; more tx/success; pg; birth & beyond) or should we just tell the stories in whole 1 by 1? Loads of planning to do me thinks! Also, the thing I'm finding difficult in my effort so far is linking the serious/heart felt stuff to the wise cracking funny stuff.... or should we just make a laugh about it and let everyone think it's a joke for us guys (I'm seriously against that btw!). My thoughts so far (when thinking of a solo project) was to show just how different, yet equally real, a guys pain is during the journey.... but what about you guys?

First things first............... who's in?

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

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I think this is a great idea !!!!
Great to have it from a mans point of veiw for a change LOL

I know Paul is well up for this, god he won't sleep now, his mind will be working over time :p :p

I know Paul has so many stories................

Love Jo
x x x
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Hi Jo,

I'm certain Paul's stories will be entertaining... we've had a preview on these boards!!

Angie and I wish you all the  ^fairydust^ in the world for your EC & Beyond!!!

Keep us all updated!

xx

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

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Hi all,
Think the collaboration idea is great. Compilations of real life stories are always a good seller. I think it's cause we're all basically nosey and love to know about other peoples lives  ::) The title is hilarious. I hope I haven't overstepped the mark but I was wondering where to start with all this if you/we went ahead. I made a tentative enquiry at Harper Collins Publlishers this morning, basically asking where does a person start? For this particular publisher, they require the first chapter, a synopsis and description of what type of book it is. We would have to send this to the publicity department. There is a three month waiting list for it to be assessed and then it would be taken from there.
If you all agree I can ask the question of several  other publishers via my main wholesaler (UK's largest). The wholesaler can direct us to those publishers who would potentially be interested in this subject.
It is possible that a "ghost writer" be used, unless there is enough real writing talent amongst us. A professional writer has the ability to put on paper what we have in our heads. Just an option to think about?

I was just thinking about front covers....can you imagine a "calendar
girls" type cover?....no, no lets not go there  ???
Or the door of a WC with a "do not disturb" or "men at work" sign on it?
Happy to help or to "butt out"!!

Later
Steve
 

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Hi Guys
There is a real passion and excitement about this idea, it's fantastic to see.
Chase, I think you are right about having set "sections" for us to write in and how about having a "And a Final Thought" section to enable us a bit of freedom as well - to write about what is important to us ?
I think we should have an acknowledgement to FF at the start.
If there are guys that want to remain anonymous then they could also write in the book, it will be a great way for us all to air / share our feelings.
Stevejc, thank you for your work, please help in any way you can.
As Catch said, we need some deadlines and need to know who is in.

Should we set up a new location for this ? Not sure how to do that.
How about using a meet up photo to explain how we all come together ?

Paul
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Hi Guys,

WOW....... snowball!!!!!!!

Carol......... thanks for the inspiration.... you will always be thought of as the first snow flake in our blizzard!! xx
Anfd thanks so much for your very kind words (blushing) It makes me feel GREAT to hear you say I helped you out a little (I'm gonna take the weird thang as a complement!!).

Stevejc......... excellent job my friend......... gather as much as possible so we have as many choices as we can have when the time comes to make the decisions.

Not sure about the Ghost writing thing personally..... I'd be concerned that 'great' stories could be mis-represented, afterall, isn't this purely about how WE feel? What do you guys think?

Liking the cover idea's though.........!!!!! perhaps a sample jar being held out of speeding car window would be good?

Anyway......... I'm starting a thread called "The Matter In Hand", any objections...................... see Chase!! (lol)

See you in there!

Catch

^dancing spot^

[br]Posted on: November 11, 2004, 02:53:45 PMHi Guys,

Thought I'd fill you in on what's been happening over the last few days since I posted about our pregnancy.

Well, firstly, we had to tell my kids about it! We decided a long time ago that we wouldn't keep anything from them. I've had bitter life experiences of people who keep secrets and vowed never to hide anything from my beloved Angie or my beloved children. With this in mind they've known, every step of the way, that we were having treatment, what it was for, and exactly where we were in the treatment. We've never had any problems communicating where we were on our journey to the children either, but this unexpected success had to handled with a little tact as we knew, once again from bitter experience, that the children's mother would not take this well!
We decided that we should actually tell their mother before we told the children, to allow her some time to express her bitterness/anguish, or whatever it is she was feeling, whilst the children weren't present. This is something she's had difficulty doing in the past and we sure as hell didn't want the kids to find out they were having a brother/sister or both from an angry Mother. Tried calling her all last week, but, as usual, the calls went unanswered so had the awkward job of texting her. I asked of we could talk about mine & Angie's IVF, which, of course, gave the game away immediately! (I should note that recently we've had a reasonable relationship with my ex, she's even been round for a cuppa and has offered Angie advice on breast feeding and so forth. During one visit she had said that, if our pregnancy in May had continued she would have stopped me seeingthe children, but that she was now in a much better position to handle the news!) Her reply was short and curt, and basically said it was none of her business.
We believe though, that it is her business as she needs to be there for the children when they come home from hearing the news. If they're happy, she needs to be supportive, if they're not....... she needs to be supportive...... you get the picture!
A couple more texts followed, and then an agreement was reached for us to pick the kids up on Saturday.
We collected them as usual around 10am, and my youngest, Hope, came too. This was fantastic as she's not wanted to come at all for the last 5 or 6 weeks which has broken my heart! Their Mum wasn't funny or anything but was not her usual chatty, semi-friendly self.
We decided to tell the kids as quickly as possible as we would only have them for a few hours and we wanted them to have time to think about it and let us know how they felt. So I called into the garage and bought them some sweets. I gave each of them their individual goodies, then produced a large box of choccies and told them that these were from their brother/sister/both to be............................................

Hope (3.5yrs): Head tilted to the right as she looks out of the car window singing " What's the story of Ballamory, wouldn't you like to know........." (obviously impressed by the news!)

Bethanie (11yrs): WICKED!!! I hope you have 2 girls so I can dress them up.... but i can still dress them up if ones a boy....... or even if they're both boys I can dress them up..... but I'd prefer 2 girls so they can wear nice things......jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber............ (obviously assumed twins, no doubt in her mind what-so-ever! Think she's in training for GB speed talking competition, manages 783 syllables without breath! - happy with response though - excited is good!)

Isaac (10): "..................."......................... NOTHING!!
I turn around in the car, he has a slightly strange expression, almost a grin, but not quite. I ask... "So?... what do think mate? How do you feel?".............
" WEIRD!" (OK.... weird is good....... weird is...... (scratches head) "what does weird mean??")
"I hope you have girls, one or two, but no boys!"
"Why's that Isaac?"
"Coz then I'll still be special... I'll still be the only boy!!"
How do you tell your son how special he is? I know how special he is to me, Angie knows how special he is to me.......... but how do I show him? How can a man who left home, left their Mum, left THEM (in their eyes) prove how special his children are to him?
Holding back tears I tried to tell him how great it is to have a brother, what a fantastic big brother he'll be to whatever and however many children Angie and I have. He seemed to warm tot he idea by the time we reached home but I think it will take a while!

Throughout the day Bethanie's excitement bordered on lunacy, with occasional troughs of being worried what their Mum would think. Isaac showed little interest, whilst Hope just kept asking where the babies were and singing her head off all the time. The eldest 2 decided to stay over for the night so we took Hope home around 5pm. Their Mum was, thankfully, not too 'off' with them or me, but we could all see she was hurting.
We took Beth & Isaac to see a gig that night, it was pretty good (although the kids thought he sung a load of "old rubbish" (80's & 90's is so old fashioned now!)) and we had a tremendous laugh when someone sent a request to the stage with "pack up and go home" written on it!
I couldn't help thinking that I wish Hope had been their, then ALL 4 or 5 of my kids would have been together for our first family outing together!!

So that was telling the kids..............................

Wow..... have gone on a bit here haven't I (nothing new I hear you groan!) I'll leave the rest for another time in case I bore you all to bits!

As always,

Catch

^dancing spot^
[br]Posted on: November 11, 2004, 05:03:47 PMHi Carol,

thanks for that!

Bethanie has already decided that we should move her to the 1st floor (our house is 3 storey) into what is currently the office, and have the nursery in her room so that baby(or babies) can be close to us! She also thinks that having her own bathroom on the floor would be somewhat beneficial! (She is still somewhat cut up by the fact we have the room with en-suite....... she believes she "Needed" it more than us!)

I really hope we can enjoy these wonderful months together. I've read so many posts recently where there's been m/c's, I think it's probably just that I've noticed them more now because I'm concerned about it, but it just seems to be in my face all the time! I'm trying not to let this worry take over my thoughts too much, and am generally still completely overwhelmed by the result! I don't know exactly when I'm gonna completely accept that thisis happening? Perhaps when the bump's visible?

I had the weirdest dream a couple of nights ago......... Angie was sleeping on the couch and I was feeding a baby........ OUT OF MY BREAST!!!!!! ^scared^............... then another baby appeared and started feeding out of my other breast ^scared^ ^scared^

To top it all off, and resulting in me jumping outof bed screaming.......................... a 3rd BREAST appeared inthe middle of my chest and started leaking milk all over the place!! ^scared^ ^scared^ ^scared^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could really do with a chat with technicoloured coat wearing Joseph......." what does it mean?"

(any advice would be gratefully received)

As always ( but with boobies)

Catch

^dancing spot^[br]Posted on: November 11, 2004, 06:56:50 PMHey there Chase,

REALLY hoping my dream was no premenition of my own lactating!!! Seriously........ not at all wanting that!!

I know a guy just like your old partner who shares far, far too much info sometimes......... think his name's Clatch?, Cratch?, Scratch?... or something like that!!!

What's the deal with John then huh? Guess I'll find out at Crannage?

Your so right about Bethanie.... she certainly has the gift of the gab, 24-7-365... that's 11 for ya!!!

Put my thoughts on the cover in the matter of hand thread... see what you think my man?

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^[br]Posted on: November 12, 2004, 04:49:34 PMHi Guys,

Well, we've got this scan looming ever closer now. 11.30 Thursday and I think the pressure's starting to build now. Angie's been on a real rollercoaster for the last 3 days with her moods, ranging from heated anger to the most serene happiness (mainly the irritable anger thing though!). Wish I could do something for her, she's started with back ache, her boobs are really sore and she feels sick most all the time! Meanwhile, here am I feeling....... well feeling...... numb, I suppose. (?) I'm still really excited, at times, then I'm really worried, and somewhere in-between all this I have absolutely no feeling at all! I'm getting that feeling in the stomach, you know the one, the one that gets you looking all round the house for the chipmonk just in case you swallowed it and that's what's causing your tummy to turn! I'm nervous to be sure, nervous now, not just of bad news, but also of good news... does that make sense? I know that, wether there's one or two little bambino in there I'm deliriously happy, but at the same time scared. Been thinking a lot about the awesome responsibility we're undertaking, been thinking a lot about how life is gonna be with our little one(s) here, how we're gonna provide for them, steer them in the right direction, you know, the usual stuff. My mum always said i was a worrier!! Strange though because in general I'm such an optimistic guy! Ho Hum... I suppose, once this scans out of the way (and i don't mean that in a nonshillant way) I can begin to relax a little, just hoping all is well and I can get on with worrying about the happy stuff!
I reckon I'll never stop worrying though huh, Chase?, you getting me. How is little jq my man? You must have been in such an awful place today whilst he was 'out of your hands' so to speak! Make sure he gets a huge hug from unc Catch, and loads of love to you & Jac!

Well, been doing the quiz, that was great fun. better go and see my neglected better half (bet she's loved having all the women's crap on tv all night!)

Take care all...

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^[br]Posted on: November 16, 2004, 10:10:27 PMHi everybodypeeps,

Just a real quickie as off to hozzy any moment to have a look at our kid(s).

Wanted to say thanks for all the good wishes... I'll let you know how it went in a few hours

(god I've got butterflies!!!!)

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

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Come on Catch

Just noticed you was back on line - we are all chomping at the bit here ^banana^

Can imagine you and Angie grinning from ear to ear right now  ;D

Loadsa Love
Jax
xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Wow.....

I've hurried 'home' and I'm spinning, god how I'm spinning!!

Here goes........

Bloody weather on the way there, and a huge traffic jam (because they can't dig the flowers up on a round-about on any other day of the flippin year can they?) made us late arriving at Sheffield. Now, when I say late, the appointment was for 11.30, and we pulled into the car park at 10.55 (I always plan to be there early!)! For those of you who don't know, Jessop's has a major parking problem, and there were SIX cars waiting for spaces. Cutting this bit short (coz I'm excited) it took us 25 mins to find an on street parking spot miles away from the clinic!!!!
Almost ran (well I dragged Angie!!) to the clinic, it's empty!... all those car parking spaces taken up by idiots who aren't even at the acu!!!!!!! "Take a seat... we're running late" Oh nice one!! Sat in my usual spot in the corner and longingly stared at the photo's, kept finding my eyes drawn to the twins!!
Eventually we're taken through and Angie prepares for the scan. 1st thing said is "right, you're 6 weeks and 2 days today right?" ok, now we believe everybody about adding the 2 weeks!!!! lol
In goes the scanner and BAM... huge great yolk sack (7cm) with little catch jnr sat inside. He/She measures 5mm and the little heart is banging away so strong. I'm all  :'(, I look at Angie... she's all  :'(.
"Just the one then"
I don't apologise for this, but god i fealt so damned gutted. I'd managed foolishly to convince myself... no, ourselves, it was twins!!
The nurse picked up on this and asked "we're you expecting 2?... I'll take another look"
As she's scanning around I was certain I saw something tiny moving but said nothing, a few moments later...
"what's that?"..... "let me zoom in a little"...
TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD... i'M EVEN CRYING NOW AS i TYPE THIS!!!!

I'm so overwhelmed it's incredible. We just need everyone's prayers now as little Junior Junior is so tiny! The nurse has old us to be prepared for the worst, the yolk sack is just 7mm and the baby is just 2mm. They've said that, because the heart beat is so strong there's a chance of him/her continuing but there's also a huge chance of them 'letting go'!
We're booked in for another scan next Thursday to see how they're doing.

For now we're just completely awestruck at the site of our little babies, our miracles, our children.
My mom says that if I'd been offered the one 4 weeks ago Id hve grabbed the chance and not to be too upset if the little guy fails, but I've seen him... I've seen his heart beat... I'm his Dad!... how could I not be upset if he says goodbye soon?

Not a religious person but God am I praying to you to let my littlest little one be ok !

Thanks everyone for your good wishes, a few more for the next week and beyond would be really appreciated.... I know you'll be here for us whatever happens!

Love to you all

An emotional...

Catch

^dancing spot^

 

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I'm crying all sorts of tears for you guys here  :'(  Spinning with you now  ;D

That post was so bloody beautiful Catch

Sending every prayer I can up to the big guy for you that both your little ones will be fine

Loads of love
Jax
xxx
 

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^daisy^

Great news Catch and Ange, and praying for junior junior to cling on tight,xx I have cried at all my scans  too !!

love Bops,xx
 
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