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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi girls. 

Glad you understood where I was coming from with my post last night.  I never really doubted you would though  :)

The whole subject is really food for thought, and it went through my mind a lot last night, and on and off today too. 

Flo - Please be assured that your post didn't hurt or offend me in any way.  I think this is the one place we can write our true feelings without offending as we all share the common ground of infertility and whilst our infertility may differ, we all understand where each other is coming from. 

This site is as much of a support place for us now as it ever was - be that through mummy talk or infertility talk.  I truly don't believe the pain and cruelty of infertility ever ends.  I certainly can't see where that end is.  As we've proved, it doesn't end by having a baby (the point each of us thought it would) - yes, it eases a little, but it doesn't end!

I'm so sorry that any of us ever had to go through infertility to begin with, and that we are now going through the next stage of that cruel blow.  I often shed many a tear when reading posts and the reading I did yesterday again brought many emotions to the surface.

For me personally I'm fighting back the desire to try for another baby, but it is hard and I have a feeling it's going to get a lot harder - particularly as (something also been touched upon in recent discussions) the menopause aproaches.  (LMAO thought at Barbara's new board and the sorts of posts we could be making on there, ie. 'nearly stabbed dh last night'  ;D ;D ).

Jules - I think the accepting of the situation one minute and feeling completely desperate about it the next is very normal.  It's how I feel.  I try and quell the often overwhelming feelings of wanting another baby, by thinking of the anonymity issues surrounding trying for another baby, the financial issues, etc. and it seems to help when I think that there's no chance anyway, so I may as well just forget it.  It's not easy though, and I can see some very hard times ahead emotionally.  Like Neale, my Dh doesn't want anymore children either, so I am pretty much on my own with these feelings - except for being able to talk to you guys of course  :)

It's good to be able to talk about these feelings on here though, and it definitely helps.  I know we will all be eternally grateful for our little miracles, and will never underestimate them, but it's helpful also to be able to talk about the ongoing feelings.

Jules - Really glad you're starting to feel a bit better and the tablets are helping your PND. 

Barbara - Josh sounds like he's coming on in leaps and bounds - fab!

Sophie - Fantastic news on Christopher crawling  ^clapping^

Big HELLO to all the rest of you mummies and massive hugs and kisses to all the scrummy little bubbas that we are so lucky to have  ^fairydust^ May they spread their babydust far and wide on this site  ^fairydust^

Love

Jayne x
 

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Took so long to read all the posts since yesterday (heavens - where do you find the time :) )
that no time to write much!

Jayne - you're a darling! Think it sweet you want to go for number 3! 

Kim - you said it great girl!

For me - I always wanted 3 children - and that will always be a sadness that we can't do that. AND, and I don't know if Kim feels that, but I know some of the Mums on Secondary Fertility DO feel this - GUILT - Guilt that you cannot produce the much wanted younger brother or sister.  Bottom line really.

BUT

I am so blessed. We are so blessed.
I just look at my little angel (without the fart Kim ;) ) every night when she's sleeping and thank my lucky stars. Very few nights have gone by in 5 1/2 years when I have not done that.  And that happiness is just what others who have not yet been blessed yet want. That feeling of wonder and thankfulness.

Must go - and stop whaffling on  - got to pick my blessing up from school

Fee xxxxxxxxxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh, I forgot to say earlier.  I started my diet a week ago and lost 3.5 lb this week  ^pompom^

Love

Jayne x
 

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Hi

Lizzy - good luck at saying "no"!

Jayne - how did Ben get on with the HV?

Flo - sorry you are having a tough time at the moment...... unfortunately I think people wont realise how hard it is, cos they know you have 1...... I know what I mean and I find it hard to put into words but I think I'll be feeling the same as you ((((((hugs))))))).

Jac - lovely to hear about Jaqson's milestones - all on his 14 month birthday fantastic!  He's been saving them for you!

FC - (((((Hugs)))))) and get well  :-* to Tarnnia.

Jules - you still on for Sussex meet up on Saturday?  Will see you then but will have to sort something with Lou!  Glad you are feeling a little better.

Sophie - awww photo's please of Christopher crawling!  Fantastic, please give him a hug from me!

Amanda - awwwww at Millie and Ian and the photo!  Sounds like you've got a good weekend of first birthday celebrations ahead!

Fee and Jayne - lovely posts (((((hugs)))).

Jayne - go girl on the diet!!  :)  I've GOT to stop eating cake!

Absolutely fuming!  Ordered Chloe's highchair (from age 4 months) from Boots 9 days ago, was in stock - on triple points with a 10% discount code.  Meant to be delivered yesterday.  Didn't arrive.  Today email saying out of stock, order cancelled (but other stuff arriving) which means that no high chair coming, they offered 5% discount code in compensation for the hassle.  I emailed back saying not acceptable as lost out on the other (how can 5% comp make up for a 10% voucher and lost triple points?).  Then my mate who had placed an order for the SAME product AFTER me (as I called her to tell her of the offer), calls to say hers is arriving tomorrow................? ?  Another email to Boots and I'm seriously angry and it takes a lot to rattle my cage!  Oh and to cap it all, the online website says in stock? ? ? ?Might have to boycott boots now, unless I get a good answer!  :mad:  :mad:  :mad: ^censored^ ^smash^

Love Sue
xxxxxx
 

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Blimey Sue, I'd be miffed too, hope your e-mail does the trick.  Me think you'll be getting a highchair delivered to you very very soon ! :)  Good on ya !  x x x
 

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Sue - Get Paula on the case!  Seriously - that would pee me off considerably too!

Jayne - WAY to go girl! O heavens - now I'll have to diet before Cranage too if you all start!
 

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Hi all

Just a quick post as I have loads of planning to do and Joseph is starting with another cough / cold so is very restless.

Jules - You have made me think about going back to see my doc about some tablets. It's great that they are helping to lift your mood.

Jac - Way to go with Jaqson hey!!! Teeth at last, he will be eating that steak and chips when i see him in Dec!!

Sophie - Congrats on Christopher crawling. Joseph is wanting us to pull him up by the fingers so that he can stand - he locks his legs and just grins at you. He hets dead frustrated being on his tummy and cries!!! :'(

Sue - I am picturing a highchair on your drive in the next couple of days! :)

Jyane - Your post about another baby was very moving. I always said that if i was ever lucky enough to have a child then i wouldn't want for anything again. Surprisingly, not long after Joseph was born I was thinking about what it would be like 2nd time round and how i so much wanted a brother or sister for him. I still feel like this now - you can't control that inbuilt desire that we all have. Also wel done on the weight loss!!!! :) :)

Ok sorry to be so short but ihave taret sheets to write.

Love to all of you

Sara

p.s Was it Fee who's daughter had the parents reading sesson in her school??
If it is you Fee could you IM me and tell me how it runs as i would like to pinch the idea??!!! Thanks!!!!
 

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Yeah Fee !  You can diet.........BUT in 10 months time ;D !

Jayne.....thats GREAT hun, well done to you ! :)
 

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Hi everyone

Sorry this is going to be a me post as have obviously been pre occupied in the last fews days and although I caught up on your news am too tired to reply!

Only to one - WELL DONE JAQSON x x x x

We have our 2nd appointment through - Amy's repeat bloods on 23dec and her EEG on 7 jan! The only one we're now waiting is the consultant follow up. The EEG will consist of electrodes on her head and they monitor her brain whilst doing different things, they use a paste and apparantley it pulls the hair out when the pads come off! My poor little girl!
Other than that we are now on a waiting game, either for the next fit or the test results! don't know which is worse.

Have been off work since and am seeing my Dr tommorrow as I don't feel I can face being there. It's not even as if I can come home or am contactable and I would never ever forgive myself if she had another and I was up in a plane somewhere. Am going to ask for two months till the tests are complete and in the meantime will be looking for a more local job. I adore flying but Amy is soooo much more important and I no longer feel I will relax and do my job properly.

Other than that things are good. Completed almost all my Xmas shopping today, got a date for our new kitchen and witheverything that has gone on Jamie and I seem really close and on the wavelength about the whole thing.
We both agree that we shall carry on as normal untill another fit or the tests and untill then treat Amy as we always have (although I would now no longer leave downstairs playing if I knew I was gonna be upstairs for more than a few mins - that sort of thing) but basically we don't want to take this time away from her by wrapping her in cotton wool and we want her to become the normal, confident toddler that we're working towards. So things are to carry on as normal and we'll deal with it as it happens! Although she does have a new nickname - the fitting fairy! My HV calls her this now!

Sorry no personals but shattered as she had us up every hour last night with her teeth!

LOve to everyone
Sarah x x
 

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hhh Sarah

Please try and get a little rest in if you can. I bet those tests cant come soon enough for you and Jamie can they.  I really really hope that little Amy does not have any more fits and I also hope you can get work sorted as I fully understand your need to be with Amy.  Good luck hun and please keep us informed about the tests.

With lots of love to you all
Amanda xxxxxx
 

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Also just wanted to say thankyou for all your messages on the other thread - Amy got every single one of her hugs and kisses x x x It mean't a lot to both to both Jamie and I to read your well wishes x x x x
 

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Hi everyone

We;re back online!  I've got sooo much catching up to do!!!

The move was pretty horrendous but we're just about sorted now.

Toby is waking a bit early & is all out of any kind of routine, the cat is yowling in the kitchen at 5am each morning and pooing on the floor (rather than in her tray) cos I'm not letting her out yet, so I'm an itty bitty tired, but I've missed you all & look forward to catching up on the millions of posts I've missed!

Love to all the babes,

Amy  - big ^Cuddle^

Vicky & Toby xxx

 

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Sarah - I've been away from the site for a few days so hadn't seen you news.  I hope the tests provide some answers for you or at least confirm that it is something that Amy will grow out of.  Lots of hugs to you.

Vicky -  Glad the move is going OK.  Hope the cat settles in soon.

I'm away now to catch up on previous posts and then catch up on some sleep.  Kirstie has ear infection and has some big molars coming through so not a lot of sleep going on in our house at the moment!

Allie
 

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oooooh just had to say well done to Jaqson - what a busy boy!!

Having read the recent posts about yearning for another baby from Flo, Jayne Jac and others well, - boy am I feeling like that right now.  Perhaps with our ICSI cycle looming, the possibility of having another baby feels tantalisingly close but the reality is that we may not be successful again and that is upsetting although I know I should be grateful (and I am-very) for having my little girl.  I am also aware that it may seem insensitive to some for me to talk of wanting another child when so many are still trying for number one and would in that respect gladly be in the position of trying for a second.  But I can't help feeling the way I do - hormonal and broody  ::)

Anyway, I am rambling now so will head off to bed

Night, night

Allie
 

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Sarah - More hugs for you and Amy hun  ^hugme^

Vicky - I hope you all start to feel more settled soon, even the cat  :p  ^hugme^

Fee - Lovely to see your posts, love reading about you and updates on Lolly.

SueL - Oh i bet you were fuming, i can imagine it actualy  :-\

Everyone else hope mums and bubbs are ok today, sending  ^hugme^ to you all

Just going to get us dressed now  :p - went and got little stocking fillers for Jessica yesterday, got lots of bargains in ASDA for her, was very impressed but no xmas outfit, looks like its a PJ day on xmas day for us all  :p - the search continues (but secretly loving it as i get to window shop and i love it around xmas time, now all the decs are up)

Mel

x x
 

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Thanks Woppa - Its not that important really but thank you, my mum bought her an outfit to wear (if its not too big) - just wanted an excuse to dress Jess up :)

x x x x x
 

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Mornin'

Or sorry, afternoon, all

I am getting really excited reading about the Xmas shopping!!!  Now we are moved I can start dedicating my life to outfits & stocking fillers as well!!

I would have got Toby an outfit from Tesco but as usual they have run out of 9-12 months.  There must be lots of babies in that size round here.  Mothercare never have anything either!

So from next week on we are officially Chrimbo shopping.

wahey!!!

PS Toby woke at 6.15 this morning...that's a lie in for me!!!

Vicky x

 

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Hello everyone

Carol - It's so lovely to see you posting on this thread - I'm so delighted that Luke is doing so well.  You could try cranial osteopathy for his wind problems - might be good for him generally as he has had quite a dramatic start to life.  The other thing which might help is baby massage.  I took Barney & Jack & they loved it - it's lovely & soothing for them & I used to massage them after a bath in the evening.  If you massage their lower backs in a circular motion (hold their legs up out of the way like you do when you change their nappy & slip your hand underneath their bottom) it can help their digestive systems generally - we often had dirty nappies after that one!  Even if it doesn't help the wind it's a lovely thing to do - the mums love it as much as their babies!

Allie / Flo / Jayne / Jac - I'm so with you all on the 2nd/3rd baby.  I feel that it must seem greedy for me to have another child after we have been so incredibly blessed with Jack & Barney but we had always wanted a big family & the experience of having our first babies has been overwhelmingly wonderful & one which we would love to repeat...  I was chatting to Sophie about this the other day & she very kindly told me not to feel greedy as people without IF issues aren't regarded as greedy if they want more children...  We have 4 frosties waiting for us but we had a consultation at the hospital the other day & we don't hold out too much hope for them - they are all in one straw so we only have one chance & they're not very high-grade embies but we will give it our best shot.  I feel totally uncertain about when to go for FET - on the one hand I would like to get on with it as soon as possible, on the other hand it will probably mean confronting the end of the road for us - I don't feel able to risk another dose of OHSS if we were to have another fresh cycle - & I don't think it's fair to J&B either if I ended up in hospital for weeks...

So sorry if I have upset anyone - I know that we are much luckier than so many by having not one but two beauiful healthy children but we have so much love to give to more...

Back to 'now', J&B are SO much fun - constantly getting up to mischief - fishing in the toilet, chewing at the toilet brush, calling 999, shredding the entire contents of a box of tissues, fighting over anything & everything - Jack had teeth marks on his chin for about 3 days last week after Barney clamped his jaws on his after a fight about a toy telephone!!!  It is back-breaking stuff - they are so heavy & can't walk yet... does anyone else's baby do that infuriating thing of crawling away with a dirty bottom when you are changing their nappy???  Every day is full of laughter & hugs - this motherhood thing is better than I ever thought possible...

Love to all of you & give your little ones a kiss from me - especially the poorly ones  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Sal xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Mel (FC) - Big  ^hugme^ to you and Tarnnia.  I hope she's feeling better soon. 
It's not easy I know, but from my experience these colds can get pretty nasty and I know Jack has been very poorly on occasion, but, it is as your doc says just a case of riding them out  :(  I've felt really worried at times for Jack, especially if he has a high temp, but all I've been able to do is dose him on Calpol/Medised and lots of cuddles. 

Of course if you get to the point where you're seriously concerned, then it's always best to see a doc/go to the hopsital than risk anything.  Best told to go away 100 times than take a chance!  I think you get to know over time though what is and isn't serious. 

Hope that she's back to her bright self again very soon  ^hugme^

Love 

Jayne x
 
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