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Hi,
Last Friday I was diagnosed with enodmetrial cancer, I am devastated as the only treatment is a total hysterectomy... this of course means no children for me ever....I have just turned 37 and my DH (42) have been married 5 yrs and have been TTC since then. I can't stop crying I am worried about the cancer the operation andmost of all the un-ending sadness of never having children..
I always had irregular periods but have had DUB since 1996. I was referred then and 2 years after that but all the consultants were worried about was cervical cancer, so they checked me for nothing else (despite not being on the pill, not having regular ovulation and having unexplained DUB !!) by 2000 I was sufferring badly with bleeding so went back to doctors who put me on the pill, didn't work so after a few months I was out on northisterone which did regulate the bleeding but I wasn't sent to be checked for anything else, still got married in 2000 and as wanted to get pregnant stopped taking the northisterone (as can't take when pregnant) the bleeding didn't return for some time but as no pregnancy after 3 years of trying went back to doctors....
I was then referred to infertility unit at the hospital, who immediately sent me for all checks possible not just to find cause of infertility but also to find cause of bleeding which had returned... They were shocked that I had ever been sent for any of these tests in previous referrals, so in Nov 2004 I started to have appts to and fro from the hospital for scans, biopsies, and finally had a hysteroscopy and a D&C on 6 June. They told me they found polyps and an enlarged uterus and thickened endometrium, but I thought it was going to be non cancer polyps (as very rare) or hyperplasia that could be treated with progesterone and then they would try and get me pregnant.
Hence the results last Friday were a total shock... I don't know what to do with myself, my consultant just blurted it out and I was stressed and upset already having waited 3 weeks since the D&C for the results, I guess like anyone I never thought he was going to say cancer, but also like many women cancer and hysterectomy, causing infertility and surgical menopause it's a triple whammy ! and I just don't know if I can or will ever be able to cope with it all. My op is booked for 8 Aug, so I don'thave much time, they will look at egg retrieval but chances are slim due to history of non ovulation and I am not allowed to take egg producing drugs as they promote the cancer... so if no eggs are found that's it for me.. no chance of IVF with a host surrogate I have no one who I could ask to do it for me anyway and haven't got the money to pay for it... also adoption is out as you have to be clear of cancer I'm told before you're allowed to adopt which means I have no time as we will be well old by then !!
I'm not looking forward to any of it I can't have HRT after the op and will be thrust into menopause at age 37... everyone is sympathetic the cancer nurse at the hospital and my doctor have been great but can ultimately do nothing to stop me feeling so devastated. I'm sad because I want my and my DH's babyand don't feel I could love or cope with having a baby that wasn't mine... but I do fear that I won't have many if any of my own eggs to use as I can't be given any hormones.
I just feel so sad and angry and I swing between this and denial and all sorts of silly things go through my head, I just can't imagine not having a family, what sort of a married life is it without the joy of children....I am constantly thinking about never having a baby,never experiencing all those things I wanted to like,making birthday cakes, days at the beach, first day at school, the joy of Christmas,watching them take their first steps and of course telling my lovely DH that I am pregnant and seeing his face light up...life feels so unfair....
Sam
Last Friday I was diagnosed with enodmetrial cancer, I am devastated as the only treatment is a total hysterectomy... this of course means no children for me ever....I have just turned 37 and my DH (42) have been married 5 yrs and have been TTC since then. I can't stop crying I am worried about the cancer the operation andmost of all the un-ending sadness of never having children..
I always had irregular periods but have had DUB since 1996. I was referred then and 2 years after that but all the consultants were worried about was cervical cancer, so they checked me for nothing else (despite not being on the pill, not having regular ovulation and having unexplained DUB !!) by 2000 I was sufferring badly with bleeding so went back to doctors who put me on the pill, didn't work so after a few months I was out on northisterone which did regulate the bleeding but I wasn't sent to be checked for anything else, still got married in 2000 and as wanted to get pregnant stopped taking the northisterone (as can't take when pregnant) the bleeding didn't return for some time but as no pregnancy after 3 years of trying went back to doctors....
I was then referred to infertility unit at the hospital, who immediately sent me for all checks possible not just to find cause of infertility but also to find cause of bleeding which had returned... They were shocked that I had ever been sent for any of these tests in previous referrals, so in Nov 2004 I started to have appts to and fro from the hospital for scans, biopsies, and finally had a hysteroscopy and a D&C on 6 June. They told me they found polyps and an enlarged uterus and thickened endometrium, but I thought it was going to be non cancer polyps (as very rare) or hyperplasia that could be treated with progesterone and then they would try and get me pregnant.
Hence the results last Friday were a total shock... I don't know what to do with myself, my consultant just blurted it out and I was stressed and upset already having waited 3 weeks since the D&C for the results, I guess like anyone I never thought he was going to say cancer, but also like many women cancer and hysterectomy, causing infertility and surgical menopause it's a triple whammy ! and I just don't know if I can or will ever be able to cope with it all. My op is booked for 8 Aug, so I don'thave much time, they will look at egg retrieval but chances are slim due to history of non ovulation and I am not allowed to take egg producing drugs as they promote the cancer... so if no eggs are found that's it for me.. no chance of IVF with a host surrogate I have no one who I could ask to do it for me anyway and haven't got the money to pay for it... also adoption is out as you have to be clear of cancer I'm told before you're allowed to adopt which means I have no time as we will be well old by then !!
I'm not looking forward to any of it I can't have HRT after the op and will be thrust into menopause at age 37... everyone is sympathetic the cancer nurse at the hospital and my doctor have been great but can ultimately do nothing to stop me feeling so devastated. I'm sad because I want my and my DH's babyand don't feel I could love or cope with having a baby that wasn't mine... but I do fear that I won't have many if any of my own eggs to use as I can't be given any hormones.
I just feel so sad and angry and I swing between this and denial and all sorts of silly things go through my head, I just can't imagine not having a family, what sort of a married life is it without the joy of children....I am constantly thinking about never having a baby,never experiencing all those things I wanted to like,making birthday cakes, days at the beach, first day at school, the joy of Christmas,watching them take their first steps and of course telling my lovely DH that I am pregnant and seeing his face light up...life feels so unfair....
Sam
!
