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I had a horrible experience today, sorry for the rant but it is still really niggling me. Dh and I were in the park with Alec swinging next to an older man with his granddaughter. DH and I were chatting to each other and Alec, but i could see this man looking at me clearly wanting to speak to us. He looked a bit odd and I wasnt that keen to engage in any conversation with him so we kept ourselves to ourselves.

He then joined us with his granddaughter on the seesaw and announced that

Alec was a very serious child - his granddaughter was always smiling
Serious parents like us created serious children and Alec needed to have fun
I obviously didnt take him to any groups where he could mix with other babies and not mixing with other children was making him serious
He had never seen us at the park before and why didnt we take him out more
We obviously were not spontanious people and this was stifling our son
Was our house tidy - his wasnt, he imagined ours was

This was an almost continuous ramble from him with no response from me and polite comemnts from DH.

At this point I lost the rag and said, politely, that I found his comments offensive and to please stop speaking to me. He then kept saying that he wanted to know how people brought up their children, he was looking after his granddaughter for 2 days a week and how could he learn without asking questions. I suggested that he needed to think about how he phrased his questions as their implications were offensive. This went on and on with him implying that I was the unreasonable bonkers one until we walked off.

I was seething but I also felt completely crap at someone taking a 5 minute look at us as a family and suggesting we were not bringing our child up well. I guess it taped into all my insecurities. Giving him the benefit I do think he wasnt intentionally being rude but how dare he!

:(
Helen
 

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Helen

What a freaky man.  Im not surprised he's got to you he would me too.   That isnt normal to make comments like that to a stranger.
You are spontaneous because Im sure you don't just take your son just to the park which he clearly does with his grand-daughter that would have been a comment to throw back at him :p   Why should you have to explain yourself to him though ^bigbad^

Try to forget him he has a screw loose.

Louise x

 

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I'd be seething too, how rude and how can he possibly make those judgements watching you for a few moments and if you're at the park then you are clearly teaching your LO to have fun.

If he interferes that badly with strangers all I can say is imagine what it must be like for his daughter/son whose child he is looking after - he must be a right pain in the wotsit for them.
 

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Helen that is outragous, what gives people the right to comment on how others bring up there children...  ^bigbad^

^hugme^ for you hun,

Bev xx
 

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Hi Helen
Poor you, its hard enough worrying that you're doing the right thing isn't it, without someone else passing unreasonable comments!
I agree with Freckles - think about his poor daughter.  If he feels the need to pass comment on your family, that suggests that someone else is telling him to shut the heck up and not letting him pass his little pearls of wisdom on.  I always tend to find as well that its those people who seem to feel the need to preach to you for hours about how wonderful their child / marriage / job is are actually the ones who have a little horror / whose husband is having an affair / whose job is rubbish and are feeling the need to convince themselves of how wonderful their life is rather than you.
If I was you I'd try to twist it round like that and think that its probably really sad that he doesn't have the confidence to deal with his granddaughter and so he feels he needs to try and get some by being vocal and opinionated to you. You're obviously a great mum so just ignore the silly old fool.
Lots of love
Tamas xx
 

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Blimey Helen, what a nutter!  No wonder it upset you ^hugme^  You're a fabby mummy (super mummy in fact ;) ) and don't ever let anything or anyone undermine that :)

xx Clare
 

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Cheeky b*gger I think I would of wanted to slap him  ^bigbad^ .  You did well to politely respond to him I couldn't of

Shelley x
 

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Oh Helen  ^hugme^ what a horrible experience for you.

Take absolutely no notice of him hunni. He's just one screwy old man who knows nothing about you and your family. You are a wonderful mummy, don't let anyone ever make you think any different.  :)
 

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Poor you ^hugme^ what a complete weirdo! I wouldn't want him looking after my child 2 days a week if that's the sort of person he is. Poor granddaughter.

I'd be upset too but try your best to ignore him, he knows nothing about you ^bigbad^

x
 
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