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Why is it that you can think you are doing fine, feeling happy, moving on and then someone announces they are expecting and it's like your heart has been ripped out!

Sometimes I wish I lived in a little bubble all on my own so that I never need to hear about anything to do with children.

Anyway just wanted to write that as I know I am among like minded people. 
 

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Hi Sonybear,

Just wanted to send you some  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ as I know how you feel. 

Even though we have now decided to go down the adoption route and we are very happy with that decision it's so very hard to hear pregnancy news  :'(  Two friends of mine have had IVF and now have lovely babies but it makes me ask the question 'why not me?'  :'(  I'm so so pleased for them especially after what they've been through to get there but it also makes me sad for me as I will miss out on things like being pregnant and picking names and choosing tiny baby clothes.  It's easier to 'close off' to it as it hurts so much still. 

Sorry, hope I haven't depressed you more, just wanted you to know your not alone  ^hugme^ 
 

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Hi Sonybear,

I don't use this site very often, but do tend to come on here at the times that you have described, just when you think you're getting somewhere and someone hits you with some 'happy news' and it feels like you're right back to square one. 

My best friend had her first baby in October, that hit me hard and it's been 3 years since my third and final treatment cycle.  Then yesterday she phoned me and asked me to be Godmother to her little girl.  The part of me that loves her as my best friend was delighted to be asked, but the part of me that is unable to have children of her own just wanted to scream - I'm trying very hard to learn to cope with this and it would be a lot easier if everyone would just leave me alone!

You're right, a bubble would be nice, to cushion the blows and allow us to live in blissful ignorance! 

Once again, with a new year approaching I am hopeful that this will be the year where the pain eases a little,and I can once again be the person that I used to be, before infertility came along and suffocated me.

You're not alone, and although it doesn't stop you feeling so sad, it is comforting to know that what you are feeling is normal and there are other people on here that feel it too.

xx

 

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I did a double take when I read what you typed!  I feel the exactly the same way and thought I was the only one!

Currently I know of 5 pregnancies and cannot bear to be within their world.  It is like a knife twisting in my heart.  When I am at home, I make the choices; but this has become a problem because I just do not want to go out side.

Because I want so much to be a mother, I tend to see these "fat" women just about everywhere.  I also dread it when I have a problem with my periods because it means circulating with these smug women!!

Unfortunately because we are females, not only do we feel it more than our husbands, but we have to put up with the talk as well - as it is natural for women to talk about babies.

Today, I am 41 and have been told very recently that I am highly fertile and no where near menopause.  I think: great, because I might as well not be, if my darling is completely infertile!!!!

Then I read - which is my fault because I don't have to read - that a 14 year old has become a mother.  SICK and JEALOUS and not fair!!!

Oh yes, I certainly know how you feel.

And also, I have found that my body is going against me because I am fertile but nothing is happening!!
 
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