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I just do not know where to turn.  I can't go and get a test because I can't cope with the mental pain of BFN. 

For nearly a year, I have not bled and in November, I did have a small bleed; it was sooo small actually that I did not need a towel!  It lasted for 5 days.  About 2 days after that, I had sharp pains, I suppose around my overies and joked with my husband that it was an egg dropping!

2 weeks later and still going on, my breasts are so terribly tender and I think I have gone up a bra size as I am noticing them more and tending to keep my arms away from them!  I am going to the toilet like nobody's business!  No pain just weeing.  Yesterday and today, I found a little bit of mucus (sorry) with just a tiny discolouring.  I am finding that I keep wanting to cry and this morning battling with nausea.  I have made myself eat some porriage, but still suffering from feeling sick.

I am in a constant mental fight with myself.  I am or aren' I?  It would be a miracle  because my husband is supposed to be void of sperm - non-azoospermia.

I even feel pregnant but am just to much of a wimp to find the truth.  After all it could be my hormones just playing up.

I really need some support because my heart and being just cries to be a mother.

I am just a little bit constipated too.

I know that we all are different.  I am  hearing of so many stories of how one knew they were and another didn't.

I have also come out in acne which does not please me.

I hope that I do not offend anyone; I just could do with a kind word of encouragement. 

I am 40 soon to be 41 and according to one doctor about to be menopausal.  So, in deed a miracle it would be.
 

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Hello Suzanne,
I feel for you having just read your email. Only you can decide what to do but being a pragmatic person I would go out & get a pregnancy test. I think the agony of uncertainty may almost be worse than a BFN. Also the longer your wait, if it is going to be a BFN then I think your hope will build (whilst you don't know) & this will make a BFN even worse to deal with if that's what it's going to be. Ofcourse you may have a BFP which would be wonderful! I will keep everything crossed for you. We on this site so know how you feel...
Helenx
 

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Suzanne ^hugme^ this sounds like torture to me - while i keep absolutely everything crossed that you have definitely got your miracle, i think you do need to know hun - for lots of reasons, if only your sanity!  also, if you are pg you need to start taking folic acid asap if you aren't already.  I would put yourself out of the misery hun - and i hope so much you are right!
good luckxx
 
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