Fertility Friends Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

2,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all,

  Chux, this is for you too please as I havent got round to getting back to you.

    Miles is almost 18 mths now & when he was 12 mths he knew & would say up to 50 words
    & I know that is way above average as I have other children & only one was like that.

    Now he will say only mama, dada, ball & do animal noises. when I try to do things with him he just
    looks at me as if i am stupid, I used to say 1 & he would say 2 now he wont even say 2.
    he cant even do puzzles that are just 2 piece ones, his motor skills have always been above
    average, he crawled, walked, sat up etc very early. Oh he says NO alot !!

  As for his social skills, he will only go to me, his dad & my sister, he sometimes lets my
  10 year old play with him but only sometimes. I have other children & he just ignores them
  which does upset them ALOT.. My daughter does not live with us & but comes home for
  lunch every day & he ignores her too & if she picks him up he crys as he does with my
  other children.

  If we are out & someome talks to him he either crys or looks right thru them with the most
  ignorant look its embarrassing, never smiles at them or anything.

  He gets excited when the night garden comes on or bear in the big blue house & he jumps
  up & down lauguing etc & laughs when we are out if he's running along, he loves being outside,
  he will laugh if daddy or I chase him or play hidi boo but other than that he is very somber.
    Sometimes he just totally ignores me too, he either does not understand simple instructions
  or he's just ignorant ?? If I say lets put your shoes on etc he just looks at me & I just cant figure
  him out ?

  He screams if I try to take him into the school gates, I dont go to mother & toddler but I do take him
  to a place called Jump that has lots of toddlers there, he just stays pretty close & if he does
  venture off id a child goes anywhere near him he looks at them down his nose & walks off,
  if a child tries to give him a toy he just walks away from them & if another child cries anywhere
  like if we are in town or at someones home he cries so much its horrible.

  I know all of this is not normal as none of my other children were like this. Thanks for reading

        Katy. xxxx

2,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Any idea's welcome !! I WILL NOT take offence at anything said. I have my own idea's as
to what may be the problem, I just wanted to see if someone else came out with the same thing
so dont be afraid to offend, If someone would rather Pm me thats fine  :)

            Katy, xxxxxxxxxxxxx

1,577 Posts

Didn't want to read and run.  Some of what you talk about is not unusual - disliking big noisy groups of people he doesn't know (like the school playground or new toddler groups), not liking to be with people other than the main caregivers and not taking any notice of random individuals on the street. Other things are more unusual like stopping using words he was previously comfortable with. Is he going through a growth spurt at the moment  - I do know a child who when he was in a growth spurt would concentrate on that and other things like speaking, coordination seemed to go on a go slow. 50 words at 12 months is pretty unusual in itself so I can see why you are worried that he is down to a few. On the other hand I know that an HV would say that under 10 words at 18 months is within the range of normal. I think you should trust your instincts and go and talk to your gp and they can refer you on to a specialist if you think you would like him to be tested for any specific developmental disorder. 18 months though is at the young end of when they can accurately say whether a child has a problem given the wide range of normal speech and social dvelopment. Hopefully they will be able to reassure you.

Not sure that helps at all but I can understand why you are anxious.

Premium Member
14,889 Posts
Hi hun

As Betty says there are alot of behaviours here that are not unusual. 
My Matthew really doesn't thrive in large groups, he's best with a couple of kids, he simply won't participate in group activities and often would rather just be at home, though once he goes to things he says he doesn't want to go to, he usually has a good time.
He can't do puzzles for toffee but he has amazing fine motor skills!!

Also agree that language regression is common before another leap is taken, it's like they do 2 steps forward and one back.

And I also agree that 18 months is quite young to worry about language development, though as you say he did talk well for a 12 month old.

Language regression that lasts can be associated with autism, I guess that's what you're referring to when you say you have an inkling of what it might be? 
My friend has a son who has recently been diagnosed at the mild end of the autistic spectrum, the things he does sound very similar to yours. But in addition to what you've described he also has some very big emotional reactions to new and different situations.  The speech regression and ignoring her was what alerted my friend to her son's condition though.   However he was 2.5 years when the regression started, and still not speaking much by age 3. 

She spoke to her health visitor and had his hearing tested first of all, then the HV came round to observe him and recommended further behavioural testing.  She was very upset when she got the diagnosis, despite having pretty much expected it.  Sadly there's not that much that can be offered to help her son, but the diagnosis does mean she can access some services, and more importantly, she has done her research and has changed his diet with some considerable success, his behaviour has changed and his language improved.  He is in mainstream nursery, he's a lovely boy and he is getting on fine.
In the course of investigations she did find out that speech development (or lack of it) can be hereditary and her DH apparently didn't speak until the age of 3 - a reason why her son's diagnosis was a little delayed because they did think that perhaps he was just slow to speak.

I hope I haven't scared you but I'm guessing this was what you were worried about? 
Do talk to your HV before you get too worried about what could be causing things, and if you really think there's a problem stick at it until you get some help.  My friend was very stressed and upset for quite some time because she didn't feel anyone was taking her concerns seriously. 
Perhaps get his hearing tested in the first instance just to rule out any problems with hearing - deafness or a hearing problem could explain alot of the speech/ignoring/fear of groups/dependence on certain individuals.
He could just have a range of behaviours that are coincidental and look like they add up to something when they are actually all just independent of each other.  I would also say he is very young still and possibly too young for it not to be simply a phase in his development.

take care,
Claire x

2,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you to everyone for your replies,

  Asperges was what I am thinking as that mainly affects their social skills & this may sound
  hard to believe but when he had his 6 week check he wouldn't smile for the HV, He had to
  smile at me & then she wrote down that he could do it. Even now & always, he will not smile
  for people he does not know, You see all these babies & toddlers that give you a cheeky
  grin when you talk to them, Miles just looks at them like they are NOTHING !! Then he looks away.
  He has obsessions too, We have every pair of shoes that he has had & he plays with them for
  ages, lining them up etc.. he opens & closes the cupboard doors in the kitchen, shutting them
  three times on the right side & twice on the left, when we go for our local walk that we do when
  we haven't time for a long one, we have to go the same way when we leave the park & he screams
  NO NO NO if we turn to walk down the other way.

  He is VERY placid & gentle, does get excited for me & daddy & 1 of my other children & my sister,
  that it, a friend's husband touched Miles' hair yesterday, & Miles had never met him before, he didn't
  scream which is progress but he did totally act as if the man was not there & that he didn't even
  realise that he was doing it, basically he ignored him.

  I will not be upset if it doers turn out that there is a real problem as if it is aspergers he will just
  need help with his social skills when he starts school, as far as work goes when he is older, he
  will be going into the family business & will be the boss along with his cousin by that time & so
  his social skills will not have to be great so I am not worried about his future, I do think that
  maybe his dad & his granddad also have it but even milder than Miles as his granddad didn't have
  friends at school & James ( daddy ) did but they were limited, he never stayed over at other
  peoples homes or had them come to his, Even now, James is VERY anti social, would never
  stay in B&B as it involves socialising with the owners & does not come with me to see my friends,
  saying that, when it comes to business he is fine chatting with people he has to !!

  Thanks again for your help everyone, I think I will leave it a few mths & see what happens.

    Love Katy. xxxxxxxxxx
1 - 6 of 6 Posts