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Love_lucy sorry to hear about your test so far. Do you think you will be testing again or waiting for the beta.
 

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Hi ladies,
I’ve had an amazing day today and just love that all of this happens in my home city 🥰 I’ve ran it 5 times myself and this was my last year but couldn’t train due to doing these 3 transfers that I’ve done since May.

I’m beyond devastated but I’ve just done my test now and it’s a negative! I just don’t understand! How can 5 embryos fail. Donor eggs are supposed to be better, I don’t get it girls. I thought it had worked when I had different feelings going on. I honestly did. I feel like I can’t breathe. I just don’t know how I can go through it again!

I’m absolutely f***ing beyond devastated! Sorry for swearing xx
 

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Oh and I meant that the great north run this year was gonna be my last year running but I deferred due to having the transfers! I haven’t ran it today 😢 I should have done though eh cos it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference!! I don’t think I’ve made any sense in my last message other than it’s another failure for me!! Xx
 

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LJ79 I'm glad to hear you had an amazing day and I'm so so sorry to hear that your result is negative 😞 I know what it feels like and how devastating it is. I don't understand why they fail either. Maybe IB need to run more tests. Perhaps Immunes? Perhaps a younger donor? I really don't know what to say. It's so confusing. I hope you can have a follow up with IB asap and I hope they can give you some answers xx
 

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Hi ladies,
I’ve had an amazing day today and just love that all of this happens in my home city 🥰 I’ve ran it 5 times myself and this was my last year but couldn’t train due to doing these 3 transfers that I’ve done since May.

I’m beyond devastated but I’ve just done my test now and it’s a negative! I just don’t understand! How can 5 embryos fail. Donor eggs are supposed to be better, I don’t get it girls. I thought it had worked when I had different feelings going on. I honestly did. I feel like I can’t breathe. I just don’t know how I can go through it again!

I’m absolutely f***ing beyond devastated! Sorry for swearing xx
@LJ79 Im so sorry. This is such sad news. Hopefully your clinic might have some answers for you. Did u get the embryos tested? Devastated for you.
Why is this road so hard 🙁
 

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@LJ79 i’m so sorry to hear this, after such a lovely day it must have been such a blow. Sending you so many hugs and hoping you’re not dealing with this alone. I would expect some further testing needs to be done now you’ve been through a few transfers, hopefully IB come back to you quickly with a good plan. IVF is such a tough thing, no matter how much effort you put in and how many sacrifices you make it can make no difference. Just know you’re doing everything you can for this any hopefully the right protocol is put in place for you xx
 

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I'm so sorry LJ79, we all understand where you are and its a horrible place to be but hopefully a review with IB will give you hope for future rounds and a plan for moving forward. Be kind to yourself and sending big hugs.
 

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Thanks girls.
Your support means everything to me because I know that sadly, you all just completely get it. I think I’m still a bit shocked even though I know it’s not a given that it’s going to work, I just really thought it was finally my time. It’s just really thrown me.
I want a tested donor! That’s all I know right now but I’m sure over the next few days, I’ll start to note down more questions.
Usually I’m on my own when I test and it’s pretty hard but I’ve been with my co parent tonight when I tested for the first time ever and as much as I wanted to wallow in my tears, he wouldn’t let me so he dragged me out for food. I felt so guilty though seeing his sad little face when he looked at the test. He’s relying on me and I can’t help him and that’s just an extra level of guilt that I know is unfair to put on myself but I can’t help it.
Oh god, I’m sorry for waffling!

I’m sorry I haven’t acknowledged the messages beforehand but I really hope everyone’s doing ok and I’m thinking of you all too. Thanks again for your kind words and understanding ❤ Xxx
 

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Oh @LJ79 I’m so sorry to see this. It feels like an extra kick in the gut too when you think it’s worked. I’m glad your co-parent was with you tonight. Be kind to yourself and it’s more than ok to feel angry and swear! I hope you get a follow up with IB soon and there’s a lot more testing that can be done for you and the embryos to try and find a way to make this work for you.

@Love_Lucy I’m sorry to see you don’t think it’s worked for you either. Will you be waiting for Beta to confirm now?

I’m struggling to stay positive for this transfer. Hopefully I’ll feel differently when I get to Spain. If this one doesn’t I definitely will take 1-2 months break to do the microbiome test. I think I underestimated the mental toll of doing two transfers back to back. Ive done everything I can though so what will be will be for this one on Thursday.
 

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Thanks @JessicaR1981
I think you’re absolutely right about the whole thing taking it’s toll. That was my 3rd one that was back to back and I do feel really drained by it.I’m sure once you’re on that plane, you’ll start to get excited because it is such a magical moment that you get yourself caught up in and lost in a happy blissful hopeful bubble. The highs are so high but my god, the lows are low! I’m absolutely wishing you all the luck in the world and the same for you too @Love_Lucy xx

Oh @LJ79 I’m so sorry to see this. It feels like an extra kick in the gut too when you think it’s worked. I’m glad your co-parent was with you tonight. Be kind to yourself and it’s more than ok to feel angry and swear! I hope you get a follow up with IB soon and there’s a lot more testing that can be done for you and the embryos to try and find a way to make this work for you.

@Love_Lucy I’m sorry to see you don’t think it’s worked for you either. Will you be waiting for Beta to confirm now?

I’m struggling to stay positive for this transfer. Hopefully I’ll feel differently when I get to Spain. If this one doesn’t I definitely will take 1-2 months break to do the microbiome test. I think I underestimated the mental toll of doing two transfers back to back. Ive done everything I can though so what will be will be for this one on Thursday.
 

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@JessicaR1981 I can empathise with you and if this cycle hasn’t worked I’ll be taking a little break and will be open to getting some testing as well. Back to back cycles really do take a toll.

I will test again, maybe tomorrow or later today if I can’t wait. I don’t think I can wait for my beta and keep having hope. I’m a bit of a control freak so need to know what’s coming! I’ve had a few symptoms creeping in which get my hopes up but then always disheartened when I put my pessary in my cervix is low. Back at work today so hopefully that will keep me distracted and off google!

@LJ79 i’m glad you weren’t alone when you tested and your co parent supported you through it. I’m sure although he was disappointed he knows you’re doing everything to make this work for you guys xx
 

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Thanks @Love_Lucy and I really hope these next few days go as fast as possible so that you know what’s what. I’m still hoping and praying and keeping everything crossed that things change for you and you get the news you want and deserve rather than the news you’re thinking it’s likely to be 🤞🏻 Xx

@JessicaR1981 I can empathise with you and if this cycle hasn’t worked I’ll be taking a little break and will be open to getting some testing as well. Back to back cycles really do take a toll.

I will test again, maybe tomorrow or later today if I can’t wait. I don’t think I can wait for my beta and keep having hope. I’m a bit of a control freak so need to know what’s coming! I’ve had a few symptoms creeping in which get my hopes up but then always disheartened when I put my pessary in my cervix is low. Back at work today so hopefully that will keep me distracted and off google!

@LJ79 i’m glad you weren’t alone when you tested and your co parent supported you through it. I’m sure although he was disappointed he knows you’re doing everything to make this work for you guys xx
 

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Thanks @LJ79 how are you feeling? Have you heard back from IB on getting a consultation?

I took another test this morning and it’s still bfn. I’ve had a few more symptoms the last couple days that did trick me a little in to getting hope but clearly just the medication or today I feel like they’re more closely matched to my period symptoms. Blood test on Thurs so I probably won’t bother testing again until then and at least by Friday i’ll have my definitive answer and can move on xx
 

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Ahhhh @Love_Lucy Im so sorry this is not an easy straightforward time for you either. It’s just horrific when your body and mind plays tricks. I was convinced it had worked due to experiencing some strange fluttery feelings that I’ve never felt before but clearly they were nothing for me.

I have no experience in any positive tests so excuse my question but could it still be negative on a HPT but positive on a blood test or should there be a faint line by now?

I’ve got a follow up appointment for Friday so I’ve already got a list of things I want to discuss and I’ll just keep adding to it until Friday.

I really hope everyone else is doing ok too xx
 

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There’s a chance it could still be to early to be honest. With my last 2 pregnancies I got my bfp on day 5, today is day 7. I’ve googled lots and some didn’t get there’s until day 9. It could be a late implanter but i’m not holding out much hope now. There’s a chance the bloods could come back with something but it will probably be very low if nothing is even showing up on the hpt. I’ll test again the morning of bloods to make sure i’m not anxiously waiting around for miracles.

That’s great you have an appointment this week with IB. I’m interested to see what they suggest for you now after what you’ve been through. Hopefully they can get answer your questions and meet your needs for a proven donor. Has the pregnancy guarantee saved you money then if you went through all these cycles without it?xx
 

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@LJ79 sorry to read your news. It’s so hard to know why these cycles don’t work especially when you have put your all into it. Big hugs to you and I’m glad you have your review this week to see what your next steps are. Take care of yourself x
 

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Hi ladies,

@Love_Lucy sorry to read it’s still a BFN. This period is just so hard hoping for a late implanter and analysing every twinge. I hope the next couple of days pass quickly for you.

@LJ79 good news that your follow up has been organised so quickly.

My alarm is set for 3am (argh!) for a super early flight. Ladies are taxis easy in Alicante? We had a car last time as went up the coast for a few days too. Looks like they don’t have Uber? Are they easy to organise to the clinic and back?
 

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JessicaR1981 safe travels ☺
As Love_Lucy said there are taxi stands and when you're at the clinic you can ask IB to call a taxi for you xx
 
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