Fertility Friends Support Forum banner
1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,033 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ladies

I wonder if I can pick your brains and experiences please.

As you can see, DH and I are about to start on the next part of our journey and meet our cons in 2 weeks for the rundown on our IVF will (see positive thinking) work for us.

I know that relaxation and minimal stress are important and I have spent the last few months whilst TTC to reduce my stress levels with reflexology and meditation.

I have a pretty stressful job but now know that work stays at work and I dont bring it home.  But now my beautiful and beloved mum has been diagnosed with very early stages of breast cancer.  Oooooooooooomph - can someone kick us any harder please?

My nana (mum's mum) died at Christmas and as a family we are only just recovering from this, but this means that there is another angel fighting my corner to make my dreams and biggest wish come true.

My worry now is do we stop what we are doing with the thought that the stress of getting my mum through her treatment will be too much for IVF or do I carry on (as my mum wouldnt want anything to change because of her) and try to be a complete super woman knowing that something will have to give - hopefully DH will let me become a housewife (or lady that lunches as he prefers to put it) now so that I can carry on?

If IVF is so clinical - does stress really have that much of an effect?

Love and luck to you all

Emma

xx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,581 Posts
Hello!

I'm so sorry you are facing all these trials at once - one would be bad enough.

But they are very different stresses, and it may be that you could do something to put them all in their respective boxes.

I'm a complete convert to the notion that stress is a major factor - we conceived at a clinic in Turkey, and I know that the 'holiday' was half the battle.

BUT... how about thinking of other ways to manage this? It would be wonderful to give your mum the boost that you were pregnant - it sounds as if tx and your mum are the most important things right now.

So - is it possible for you to take a break from work? At least take that element away for six months or so while you go through tx and support your mum? I couldn't have afforded it, so I would understand if that's not an option. But you are entitled to take unpaid leave of up to a year, I think - could you check it out?

You've got the relaxation and meditation licked, by the sounds of it! But I think any amount of controls are not going to make it possible for you to do all three without a great deal of stress.

IVF involves a lot of clinical expertise, to be sure, but you have to have a solid emotional base to tackle a cycle or it is just unbearable - I cycled while working and coming to terms with the fact I was menopausal at 34 last year, just after a breakdown (I now know that was the hormones) and every trip to the clinic took a whole day of driving. I would never do that again - load your plate half full and just do what you can manage.

Don't be Superwoman - it just isn't practical! When I look back on that cycle I wonder how the hell I got through it.

The best of luck to you, and your mum.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,033 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Miranda

Thank you for your story.  You are right, something is going to have to give.  Going to see the cancer nurse with mum tomorrow to see how intense this is going to be for her so maybe then that will help me give way somewhere to keep going.

Good luck, not long to go now x

^fairydust^
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top