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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear Everyone,

I'm not sure where to post this but I hope it's ok here.  We have now had egg donation at Fertimed, Reprofit and Repromeda.  None was successful.  And with our last round of treatment being blasts, we were even more disappointed with the outcome.  We are lucky to already have dd and we know that but the pull to add to your family is a strong one.  At the start we set a limit of how many goes and we have now reached that.  It is partly the stress of arranging everything that made me agree to the limit and like most people, the cost is a huge consideration.  And it is so difficult planning everything around our dd and leading double-lives as we keep what we are doing secret.  Our dd would be so excited if she knew and I couldn't bear her disappointment as well as our own.

Last time was to be our last try but for the first time ever we had frosties.  My dh didn't want to go back for them, he thinks the odds too small.  But I can't leave even one thread hanging with a what if.  And so shortly, we will once again be making the pilgrimage to the Czech Republic.  I know all the worries.  They may not survive the thaw.  They have less chance than the brilliant fresh ones I had last time.  But as I walk into Repromeda, I will be hoping.  Hoping that for once, something wonderful happens.  We have had our share of awful years and we so crave some good ones.  I know we don't deserve the luck any more than any of you out there.  And when I read about some of your journeys, it makes me feel guilty for yearning for another.

But I do.  Or we wouldn't have put ourselves through all this.  And if once again I am staring at a pee stick with no blue line on it.  Well, I know it's going to hit me hard again.  I try to prepare myself.  I try to give myself a talking to.  Telling myself all the good things I have in my life.  But the gremlins always get in and I go on a downer until I can work through it.  I'm sure you will know only too well what I am talking about.

Anyway, all this waffle is because though I haven't posted on here for a long time, I am so grateful for FF.  Without it, we would never have had the confidence to go abroad for treatment.  The information shared is crucial and people are so willing to help one another.  It is refreshing to find a place in this busy day and age, where people are so kind.  And so I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all those who set up FF in the first place and all those who have so quickly answered any questions we have asked.  This whole process can be so stressful and getting some reassurance is such a relief.  If we get another negative, I know I will not have it in me to write this.  And I want to because even if we do, I'm glad we tried.  I would've hated to not be able to try because of this country and its stupid rules. 

SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 'BEING THERE' FOR US FF FOLK.  AND WE WISH EVERYONE OUT THERE, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR OWN LITTLE MIRACLE.   

Love Renka

 

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Renka

You have written such a wonderful post. My heart goes out to you and i so hope that you get the little bundle of a miracle that your heart so obviosly desires.  ^hugme^ ^pray^

Tweets xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Tweets,

Thanks for your good wishes.  It's lovely to read of your recent success.  And from frosties too!  Congratulations and I hope everything is plain sailing for you from now on.

Love Renka
 

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Renka.
We all understand where you are coming from and have all felt what you are feeling. My tx was successful from d/d frosties and like you it was our very last go as finances would of decided that for us.

Thank you for sharing that lovely post, and i wish you good luck with your  ^snowflake^
 

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Hi Renka
Lovely post...I echo your sentiments...I truly dont know what i would have done without all the wonderful people on FF, the founders, the moderators, the members..it really has made the crucial difference to countless people as to whether or not they can have a family! Its amazing really...I wish you all the luck in the world on your FET and there are lots and lots of FET babies out there so  ^pray^ for you..
Love Pobby xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Cichlidbabe, Pobby,

Thanks so much for your encouragement.  I will be hopeful. Tying to protect myself by thinking it probably won't work but secretly hoping for a massive surprise didn't help me anyway.  So I am going to pack some positivity into my case this time! 

Good to hear of your frostie babe Cichlidbabe.  Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy. 

Pobby, sending loads of luck your way.

Love Renka
 
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