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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Dear Diary

I went to the doctors to ask if they could support me in some of the blood tests that i will need to pay for for my cycle and too my surprise, she said yes. Ive asked for HIV, Hep B, Hep C, Rubella, Thyroid and a full blood count. I hope there isnt any i forgot.
She was a witch and made me feel bad. I took my son in the room with me as it was a joint appointment. She tutted at him when he stood on the scales which annoyed me (i didnt say anything) then kept making digs about the fact that he was eating a packet of crisps (pom bears) at 10am.
Again, i didnt say anything but DS has a good (ish) diet, he isnt overweight and i do limit his crisps/junk food.
I did walk out of there feeling slightly judged, so as i shut the door i put my middle finger up at her. She wouldnt have seen it but it made me feel a little better!!!

DS has hayfever. Mostly the itchy eyes and runny nose but some days his eyes swell and look so sore bless him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Dear Diary

Absolutely loving this weather. I dont want it to go!!!

DS is good, we went to his school the other week to have a look around etc, it hit home that i wasnt quite ready for this. Sending your child to school, to be looked after by people you dont know is a big thing for a parent, i totally underestimated it. The other worry is the other children, how will my DS treat them, how will they treat him. Its totally scary!!

We had our initial app today. We had it with Dr Gobara, he is a lovely man. He sounded so positive. SSR waiting list isnt as long as we thought, we thought it was about 6 months, bit its only around 3. So looks like, if it is within 3 months, that we will be good to go maybe the start of November.
The doc said that the drugs wont be as much as i budgeted for (i budgeted 2k). He said no more than 1k, which shocked me as i didnt respond at all for the first 11 days of my last cycle.
So, its now project baby... last night of having a tipple tonight then limited to special or preplanned occasions. Healthy eating and vitamins!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
Dear Diary

Ive written this out twice and lost it both times! Grrr.

We will start with DS... he melts me. We had half fivezie snuggles this morning... im not one for getting up at half 5, but for snuggles, i will make an exception.
He is such an affectionate boy, always tells me he loves me, kisses me always.
He keeps smacking DH at the mo, smacking, pinching and biting... and telling a few porkies too.
Money has been tight with me starting a new job last year (which i love) hours are a bit iffy but other than that, i really enjoy it. Our childcare costs will be going down next month so that will help.

Lots happened in baby making number 2. We have DH SSR planned for 18th Oct. And my consultants secretary is making me another app to plan my cycle. I am to start on the 19th Oct (actually not kidding either,lol)
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
Dear diary

Me and hubby had a rare date night last night, went for a meal and drinks with friends... to say i am suffering today as an understatement.
It was a great night mind.
Currently the three of us are in our PJs watching toy story... lovely sunday evening.

I went to my besties sons 3rd birthday party today and a girl i know who had IVF for her 1st is pregnant with her 2nd, a natural conception! Thats 2 people i know that that has happened too!
Everyone is pregnant all of a sudden.. its bringing back the urge and necessity for a baby.
So, we have an app on tuesday, completely pointless if you ask me. Its an info session for the SSR that we both have to attend... we have done this twice before!
My 2nd IVF consultation is 25th Sep... im really going to push for them to start down reg before OH SSR so when he has it, i can bleed the week after and start injecting.

Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins - £30
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
Dear diary

OH had his SSR info meeting yesterday. It consisted of a nurse telling us so quickly risks and procedures, that we couldnt keep up (good job we know all about it from having 2 before) and us signing forms

I also had to have an AMH blood test done and ive booked my scan in for 2 weeks today. Then its a month to wait for my IVF app and a further 4 weeks until OH SSR. It seems forever!

Im not going to lie, i do have moments of 'are you doing thw right thing' or 'are we being selfish'. We are pretty much maxing out our credit card to fund this so i do carry some guilt. But i feel that im doing this more for my DS. He needs a sibling... he isnt suited to being an only child, some kids are, he isnt..


Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins £30
AMH test £80
Deposit SSR £250
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
Dear diary

Oh my.... my beautiful handsome little boy has started preschool this week and im full of mixed emotions. On one hand, im so proud. He looks so smart and handsome in his uniform but im so scared. Im scared he will get picked on, im scared he will pick on others. The thought of another child being mean to him upsets me. But then, im excited for him, all the things he will learn, all the friends he will make.
We had a stay and play yesterday but tomorrow is the first day that i leave him. I should be used to it considering he has been going to the childminders since he was 11 months... but it feels like im doing it all over again. I hate the thought he may get upset, or lonely, that he will need me and im not there.
That poor BBC presenter died today, she was only 40 and although i have never heard of her until her she announced she only had days to live, it touched me. Her poor little boy, only 2 years old and without a mummy. Its heartbreaking.
She would love and will miss out on taking her boy to school for the first time, it really makes you think how lucky we are.
Poor family.

I went to the clinic last week to have a scan... all looks normal, nothing has changed. Strange the last time i saw my uterus, it had a baby in it!
I also asked what my AMH level was and its still pretty high at 57.5. Its dropped slightly from 2014 as it was then in excess of 67....
Still a really good number.
OH SSR is 6 weeks tomorrow. I have an app on the 25th to discuss my treatment. Hopefully they let me start as soon as i can after his op.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
Dear Diary

:( my little boy isnt adapting to school as well as i predicted. In the space of 10 days  he has bitten 2 other children and physically attacked me to the point i cried in front of him and the teachers. This is so unlike him. It's pretty challenging at the moment. I took away the TV, treats/snacks and bedtime story for attacking me and he will get the same if he bites any more children. I will be honest, when he attacked me, all i wanted to do was pull down his pants and smack his bottom... but im glad i didnt, as i would have been using violence to punish for violence, i tried to stay calm and let him tantrum it out, then we had words, followed by more words when i told his dad.


In other news, alot is going on. Again  i have new neighbours and again they are inconsiderate tosspots. He actually had a BBQ at 23:30 a few weeks ago, they kept me up all night. I was so poorly and had work the next day. So, we are viewing a house tomorrow in view to move, again!
Ive also applied for another Job, better hours, more flexibility. Not 100% i actually want the job as its not something ive done before. Same department, same office but under a smaller, different management team. Im going to make a decision if/when im offered the job.
So on top of all of this, i should find out on Tuesday when we will start treatment. I was going to push to start stimming the week that OH has his SSR so we are not wasting time by waiting around. The docs are pretty confident they will get sperm so nothing to lose. If they dont, and im half way through stimming, then my bad... ive lost £1k on drugs.
But....
All of this will be going on possibly at the same time, the new job, new house and IVF and im not sure its a good idea to take all this on at the same time. But not one of them im willing to wait for. I dont want to delay treatment as i want to do it before i am 35.
I generally dont get stressed with house moves, i quite enjoy them.
Hate making decisions, but i cant live next door to this man not knowing when he is going to keep me up all night.

The house seems nice, and reasonable for the price. They only thing that concerns me is that its a 3 storey, so DS will be sleeping on the floor below us... doesn't entirely sit easy for me..

Urgh, what to do what to do....

Plus, with the weather change, all i want to do is eat eat eat!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
Dear Diary

We have had 3 good days at school, with no biting, slapping and pinching! High five!!
School absolutely knackers him out mind, so when he came home from school, he was an absolute horror. However, when he get really tired, he gets super cuddly and affectionate so i was all over that!!!

I had my consultation today. So i looks like i will be starting in November. Im due on any day now so it will be my next period after OH SSR. They did offer to do the SSR 2 weeks early but we have made arrangements with work so we asked if we could stick to the original date.
So i will be on SP starting on Menopur at 225iu as it took me sooooo long to respond on my last cycle.
He has also prescribed me metformin which is supposed help reduce the risk of OHSS which of course, i got from the last cycle after getting 38 eggies! Metformin also helps with weightloss so all for that!!
He also mentioned the embryoscope and fully recommended it which we will probably go for. We spoke about the scratch and he said there was no proven evidence it works so it was up to me, until he found out i had it on my last cycle and he differ slightly in his attitude. I have decided that, as much as i dont want too, as its as painful as childbirth, im gonna have to do it as if it didnt work, i would regret not having it. So im gonna have to suck it up and do it.

In other news, we are moving. Now that i know when the treatment is and its later than i thought, i feel more comfortable in moving as we should be all settled in when i start stimming.
Only problem is out tenancy started on the 23rd so technically, my landlord could make us wait until the 23rd October before putting our months notice in, if they do that, we are screwed.
I think he is doing some digging on info as i texted him around 1pm telling him we wanted to put notice in, and he hasnt responded.

So, we have out next app on Oct 29th for info session and it should be all go then!!!

Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins £40
AMH test £80
Deposit SSR £250
Follow up app - £170
Metformin - £7
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
Dear Diary

DS is continuing to behave well at school. He came home with a big scratch going down his face this week, it looked quite sore. It breaks my heart i wasnt there to cuddle away his tears.
He is being quite emotional this past few days, crying when we leave him at school, which is so unlike him. I just feel guilty all the time at the minute, i dont know why.
On the other hand, we (me and DS) are getting so close.. i can feel it and im sure he can do. I never thought i could love that boy anymore... and yet, somehow... i do!

Treatment wise, nothing new really. Ive decided to go fro the scratch (urgh) its so painful, but if i dont, and the cycle is unsuccessful, i will blame that. But trying to plan this with my consultant is proving difficult!
Ive worked out that treatment should start around 9th November... about 5 weeks!
Eeeeek!
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
Dear Diary

So, OH SSR is this Thursday! In 4 days!!

We are both quietly confident we will get sperm... but there is that shadow of doubt that we wont. If we dont, game over!

OH is sort of irritating me. He is SO confident this cycle is going to work, it's almost coming across cocky. Im very grounded... i know the odds and the fact we used up all our luck having DS, Surely we wont be that lucky to have another.
We have had light discussions about baby names, plans for the house IF we do get a BFP, but other than that, nothing.
OH has mad it obvious he would love a girl, but for me, we are not in a position to be wanting specifics... im happy either way, a girl would be nice, but a mum of 2 boys does have a ring to it.
But lets just see if i cant get pregnant first!

Scratch is booked for November 2nd... cant wait for that! Yay! (Not)
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Dear Diary

Waiting for OH to be taken down to theatre. Our consultant wont be doing the SSR today, a neurologist will be doing it instead. It seems he is a little knife happy though as he isnt interested in getting the sperm out via a needle like the other 2 SSR's, he wants to cut OH's spuds open.
It worries me that they are doing this, i worry they wont get any! 😓
Im really nervous now....
 

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Discussion Starter · #32 ·
8 Vials 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
Dear diary

My poor husband.

He is in so much pain, his pickle is purple!! He can barely walk. The consultant says some people are fine after surgery. HOW? It looks agony.

I asked hubby, had he known it would be like this, would he have done it... he said no. I did have a slight dig that had he not of thrown the sperm away last year, we wouldnt have had to 🤭 ooops!

Still finding it hard to believe that this will work.
I havent been as focused this time with losing weight, perhaps that because im at the weight i was when i was having treatment with DS, ive been able to maintain my weight since losing my baby weight.
Also, i am still having my weekly bottle of Prosecco. Doc said i should be having 8 units a week, a bottle is 10 (i think)
That said, i have a few dinner dates coming up, other than that,after this wkend, im going to try to be good. Im not overly bad... during the week, im good and healthy its the wkends when OH is off, i eat everything in sight.

I feel like ive used up all my good luck when i have DS. I cant see myself being lucky enough for this to work again.

Going to try and get OH out and About today. I worry we will be seen as i dont want people asking questions.

Ive asked the doctor for some tramadol for my scratch, hopefully he will prescribe some.

Only about 3 weeks until we start!

Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins £60
AMH test £80
SSR £1150
Follow up app - £170
Metformin - £7

Total - £1650
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
Dear Diary

Im really feeling like im ovulating. I wasnt expecting this until the end of the month...
So i went and got some OPK's yesterday... i couldnt believe how much they were!
Anyway, it was negative. But ive since had more symptoms today and i keep bloating out so will be testing again tonight, and tomorrow.... etc

DS is poorly, hate when he is poorly. He has has had his first day off school. He is non stop coughing so thought it was best to keep him off.
 

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Discussion Starter · #35 ·
Dear diary


Came home did a OPK test.... Negative...

4 hours later... a flashing 😁

Then to find out that only means my hormones are elevated and i still havent ovulated (although im happy, its progress)

Ive read it can take up to 10 days to get the stale f
Smiley face... hopefully not for me.

Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins £60
AMH test £80
SSR £1150
Follow up app - £170
Metformin - £7
OPK - £27

Total - £1677

 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
Dear Diary

A solid, still smiley face on the digital and a strong line on a cheapy...  this weekend, i am ovulating!

2 weeks today, and i should start stims 😁😁😁😁
 

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Discussion Starter · #37 ·
Dear Diary

So, still had a solid smiley face on Sunday too.. totally confusing, but all my ovulating symptoms have gone so i presume ive ovulated.
I went for my ICSI info session today. Signed all the relevant forms. My consultant confirmed that i will start on 225iu of Menopur despite my high AMH and previous OHSS. The reason for this is because it took 10 days for me to respond on my last cycle.
So i have my prescription and started getting quotes. I was pleasantly surprised. Luckily for me i already have enough cetrotide to see me through, so the drugs bill is coming in half of what i expected... and thats going through the hospital pharmacy (Lloyds). So we will pick them up when i have my scratch on friday (absolutely dreading it)

As for my number 1 boy. He had his preschool jabs today. OH took him as i went back to work. He wad so brave bless him so DH took him for a macdonalds as a treat after.

X
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
Dear Diary

Went to the docs today and got my prescription for the clexane. So thats all sorted.

Got my scratch at 6 this evening... cant wait for that... Not! Hopefully not as painful as last time.

I also get to pick all my drugs up today too!

X
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Dear diary

Wow! That scratch was the complete opposite to my 1st one. It was so painless, i didnt even realise he had started or finished. I took a tramadol before hand, i doubt it was painless because of that so was pointless taking it. The doc should us what he had taken, it was like sloppy jelly with blood. He told me i probably found it easier because i had DS naturally and not a C sec.
Ive picked up all my drugs so ready to go, just got to wait for AF to come (will probably be late).

If anyone wants to follow my instagram journey, find me on bubbles_ivf_fertility

Cost so far

Consultation £200
Vitamins £60
AMH test £80
SSR £1150
Follow up app - £170
Metformin - £7
OPK - £27
Scratch - £180
Fertility drugs - £460

Total - £2317
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
Dear diary

Well, no sign of AF coming. Im not due until maybe a week today but i normally get sore boobs a week before i come on, and i have nothing 😕
I would bet my bottom dollar i will be late.

I was going to take DS to see the fireworks tonight but it seems he has built up a fear of them. Took me until midnight to settle him last night 😫
 
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