Fertility Friends Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 38 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi All,

Welcome to "THE MATTER IN HAND".

I think, first of all, we should confirm who's gonna be involved. So, to start the ball rolling I'd just like to confirm that I'm willing and able to provide written material for this project, in addition I am willing to help out in any other way re organisation, information gathering, etc,etc,etc...... you name it, I'm up for it..... just tell me what you'd like me to do!!

Catch (very excited and ready to go!!)

^dancing spot^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
I like the title better every time I read it  ;D

Jar outa the car for a cover....fantastic  ^roflmao^

I would like to offer my services too: liaison with publishers and reporting that back to us all to start. My own story; and anything else I can do really.

I'll get to work on the publishers right away.

Oh, another idea any of us could work on, is that books like this fair better when endorsed by a "celeb" (yuck, hate the whole celeb thing, but it can serve a purpose). We could try and find a male celeb who has experienced IF and perhaps include their story in the book? Raises the profile...What do you think?
Some internet research for some of us Sherlocks.

Bless ya'll

Steve
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,111 Posts
Ummmm Jamie Redknapp springs to my mind :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
Jamie Redknapp...is there some evidence about him Amanda? Is it worth me following up?

Steve
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
76 Posts
Hiya

I hope you don't mind me butting in but I have to odd scan of the Mens Room to report back to my DH that hes not alone.  He's too shy to join in at the moment tho.

I think the book is a fantastic idea - from a womens point of view I'd love to have some idea how men feel about the whole thing.

Anyway as a avid 'reader' of Heat magazine I thought I'd try to help with the male celebs bit.  I believe Jamie Olivers wife has PCOS as does Posh (allegedly LOL)  And Ben Elton's had IVF.

If I think of any more I'll let you know.

Good Luck with the book!
L xx

PS Steve just read your post hope Amanda doesnt mind but Louise had endo which she had removed and then they got pg
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
55 Posts
Just moved this over, so we have the info on this thread.
Hi Guys
There is a real passion and excitement about this idea, it's fantastic to see.
Chase, I think you are right about having set "sections" for us to write in and how about having a "And a Final Thought" section to enable us a bit of freedom as well - to write about what is important to us ?
I think we should have an acknowledgement to FF at the start.
If there are guys that want to remain anonymous then they could also write in the book, it will be a great way for us all to air / share our feelings.
Stevejc, thank you for your work, please help in any way you can.
As Catch said, we need some deadlines and need to know who is in.

Should we set up a new location for this ? Not sure how to do that.
How about using a meet up photo to explain how we all come together ?

Paul
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,128 Posts
hey boys

hope u dont mind me jumping in but jamie oliver and his wife jules had ivf done and had a baby girl! he mite be a good one to contact as he has been very open about treatments

sound u need any help from us girlies pls shout i would be happy or should u want another opinion from a guy im sure my husband stu would be up for a natter!

take care

Love

Mez
xxxx
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,111 Posts
Angus ;D !!  Are you sure you don't WORK for Heat ??? ;D  I thought Louise Redknapp had IVF so I read it anyway  :-\

Kevin Kennedy (Curly) from Coronation St had IVF with his wife to have a baby......and I think he has written a book too ( about his life) but he might be interested  :-\
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hey hey........

I think this just might work!!

Thanks everyone so far for your input.... Jamie olliver....... definite maybe........... Ben Elton........... OMG he's a genious, what a priveledge that would be!!

Like the idea, little worried that emphasis could be taken from ff, something I personally would like to see as a HUGE part of the book! (afterall, we'd all be going through this alone without ff right?)

Mez....... get stu in here!!!!

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,128 Posts
hey guys

im gonna give stu a guided tour of ff at the weekend as i live in here!!! lol

will get him registered up and get him posted! warn u he is a man of few words(probs cos i dont shut up and he doesnt get much chance to talk! lol )

take care and good luck guys!

Love

Mez
xxxx
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
hi Mez.... excellent news!

Can't wait to meet him. (That's if he can get on the pc!!)

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
hi woppa,

better find out when the deadlines will be and set Dougie going straight away!! If not I do a great deal on MP3's with voice recorders...... you could buy him one for chrimbo and typeit all up for him for New Year! ^afro^

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,894 Posts
Hiya

My DH Paul sounds interested. I will get him to join and then he can have a natter with you all. He only types with one finger too Woppa.

I think this is great and i will definately be buying a copy or two.

love Kimx  x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
361 Posts
Hi,

Hope you dont mind me popping in.....

Benjamin Zephaniah (poet) in 1992 discovered he was infertile due to lack of sperm. He was the subject of a TV doc called 'Shooting Blanks'.... he may be of interest. He has done alot of work raising consciousness in the black male community about infertility in general and the desperate shortage of black sperm donors too.

I'll speak to my DH too - perhaps he will pop in and have a chat on this thread,

Goodluck, Deborah[br]Posted on: November 12, 2004, 09:58:24 AMAthletes of the Heart
London
Yerma's Eggs
www.athletesoftheheart.org

See link
http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/en/pulse/other.html

This performance project was conceived, devised and directed by Anna Furse, with a multicultural cast of six, explored infertility and Assisted Reproduction Technologies (ART). The production blended physical theatre and cutting edge video projection both documentary and bio-medical. The title of the piece comes from the Spanish writer Federico Garcia Lorca's play 'Yerma' (meaning 'barren') about a desperately childless peasant girl in 1920's pro-natalist Spain. Furse states:

"I didn't want to write a play, impose my authority on a single-track narrative, as this would imply working on but one of so many possible medical infertility factors. I wanted to get under the skin of the subject via the body in performance - expressionistically, viscerally, and reflect complexity and contradiction via a layering of elements. The fragments of Lorca's play we used have nonetheless become a sine qua non, as his words have such resonance to the theme today. With ART the human heart collaborates with highly invasive medical technology. We are impelled to reconsider our ethical assumptions. We subject our bodies to a necessary splitting - the separation of eggs from ovaries, sperm from testes, reproduction from sexual intercourse - as our sex cells become involved in a spectacular process of fusion and, if successful, growth outside us. In vitro fertiliation (IVF) procedures offer us exceptional insight into our own reproductive processes. Who else gets to see their 48-hour-old pre-embryos before feeling them being inserted into the womb? Rapidly evolving advances in these technologies impact on all areas of our relationships with our bodies, with each other, with life itself. The bioethical debates they provoke are complex and challenging, forcing us to confront the logical outcome of all medical intervention in the human condition."
Project Patrons were Marina Warner and Benjamin Zephaniah.

The production played at Riverside Studios in London and the Explore @ Bristol science centre, May-June 2003. It was funded by an Impact Award from the Wellcome Trust. Ancillary activities included bioethical debates and workshops in schools and colleges as well as the publication of an Education Pack.

Some more info...
[br]Posted on: November 12, 2004, 10:08:46 AMHi there, DH of Deb10 here. Sounds like a good project, would be more than happy to lend a couple of anecdotes/philosophies, etc. Not the best writer in the world, but a fast typist....

I have a few contacts in the newspaper industry (I worked for the Daily Telegraph for 8 years (not as journo, as IT guy) and have friends who are journos for Times and Evening Standard, so might get a bit of publicity if we complete..

Experience 1)
went to my manager yesterday to ask for a day off for blood tests/scan/etc marathon that I am having today. While initially supportive and had no problem giving me the day off, he ended the meeting with the most wonderful of statements: 'So, you're a Jaffa then?'....Come back Brent all is forgiven.... Bit my lip and counted to 10, was very close to punching his lights out... P.S I am leaving this job at the end of the month...

Anyways,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
Not sure if my info is right, but didn't that other cook who had a program on itv recently, you know the one with all the celebs working in the kitchen of his restaurant,I can't remember the name ,Hell's kitchen or sthg ,anyway I'm sure I read in some mag that him & his wife had treatment. He's quite hot at the moment. Might be worth looking into. I'll send my apologies now in case I'm wrong.
Karen.  :-\ :-\ :-\
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
58 Posts
Hi guys Catch's dp here, I just wanted to wish all teh very best of luck in your new journey together!
I know it will be fantastic and well all be queing up to get a copy. I can see your all excited and have loads of great ideas its fantastic.

Catch just wanted to let you know I love that you can be so open with your feelings and I know your input on this book will be amazing i'm here to support and love you baby!!!  :-*

Good luck everyone.

Angie.
x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Hi All,

Chase........ you think I really need editing? I'm offended :'( ( ;) )

Reckon you might be the right one for the editing job though mate! Good on ya!

Would definitely be more comfortable with a celeb endorsement rather than celeb story... otherwise I think it would be seen as yet another celeb story and not for what it is!

Been thinking about this cover business. I do like the comical value of the 'men at work' sign on a loo door, but I'm not sure it would appeal to what would, undoubtably, be our target audience. Let's be real about this, you only have to look at this site to see who would potentially be buying this publication... the ladies!!
I'm not suggesting it wouldn't be of interest to the guys going through this, like ourselves, and I for one would definitely buy a product of this nature if it were available today, but I think we would be naive to assume that suddenly, guys around the country/globe, would start picking up literature on this subject. It is, sadly, still a very female orientated topic. Only yesterday I was subjected to the stereo-typical exclusion of the partner in this process when we visited our GP. She was astonished that a) I was interested in the whole thing and b) that I knew more about ph levels and ovarioan reserve tests than she ever imagined she would need to know! I just feel that some potential buyers would construe this as a book full of toilet humour if we gave the wrong 1st impression.

This is, of course, completely imho, and something which is, surely, open for debate?

I'm working on Crannage personally, and think that the contributor picture is a 'must have' feature! Good job Paul/Chase!

Many thanks for the input Deborah, and Hi to Debs DH (sorry, you didn't mention your name). A typical example of the insensitivity surrounding our situations really!! I think I wouldn't have contained myself from chinning him.... well done you!

Hi kkfr,

Think you're refering to Gordon Ramsey?
Another possability on the celeb endorsement front! Thanks.

My feelings at the moment are that we're getting some great input from a lot of areas, and that's fantastic. I reckon that we now need to get some organisation into place so that we can start to form a structured plan and take it to the next level.

Have any other guys started getting there thoughts down yet? I know I have, and it's surprising me so far at how lenghty a process it actually is. I started writing a piece last night which I thought would take about an hour or so, and found that, after 3 hours (which included editing) I was somewhat short of finishing that particular piece.

(Angie, my darling, thanks for your love and support. I love you with all my heart baby... you're my world sweety xxx)

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
55 Posts
Hi Lads
Sorry I have been a bit quiet lately, you know how it is, we have egg collection on Monday and my mind is doing the Paso Doble with a cartwheel to finish.
Excited, sh** scared, hopeful, doubtful etc, etc. But this time I am managing to turn each thought I have into a positive one, and focusing on our future, whatever it may hold. Should put this in a book........

Right, to "The Matter in Hand"
Think Catch is right, we need to be a bit more subtle with the cover, and a group piccy of the lads is more appropriate than the meet up piccy.
Yeh, just have a celeb "forward" so we don't take the focus off the contributors.
Had a chat with Gary Numan at a wedding show back in 1997 and I think he and his wifey had fertility treatment, but he hasn't been around for ages and we've lost touch !! Sorry.
I think we need a list of contributors as soon as, and then how about we each look to get a couple of pages down to start with and pass them on to someone to read to get some feedback.
I am sure Jac wouldn't mind if we ask her !!
And maybe an "outsider" someone who has not had any experience of treatment to get a second opinion ? Any ideas ?
Perhaps we can look to complete this by Xmas, this will give us enough time to get something together and then crack on with it in 2005 ??
Not sure about the format, I like Chase's idea of having set sections but then think that perhaps "Paul's Story" "Catch's Story" "Chases Story" etc, etc and then a set number of pages each to tell your story how it is so we have that freedom to focus on what we want.
Don't know, not sure, any more thoughts ??
As I said before, we definitely need a Fertility Friends Acknowledgment at the front, cos' if it wasn't for this site..................

Contributor's List

Chase
Catch
Paul R
Paul C
Dougie
Stevejr?
(sorry if I have missed anyone)
Add your names lads....
Even if you want to remain anonymous, you can use this to release your feelings, thoughts etc.

This is going to be a wonderful project.

Cheers
Paul
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Hi All,

nice to see you keep popping your head round the door Jac.

Paul... countdown to EC huh? Just want you to know that Angie & I are hoping and praying for you man. Give Jo the biggest of hugs & buckets full of  ^fairydust^!! We're with you every step mate, you know that right? Great that you're managing to stay positive!!

Glad to see I'm not alone on the cover issue. Like the idea of getting some constructive appraisal of our efforts so far. I think we'll need to see how other's feel about the first deadline being for xmas, some have many more commitments than others and might find it tough to get something credible within 4 weeks (?)
I also think you're spot on that someone "outside" the whole fertility/infertility fraternity should take a look too, I think our primary audience would be people with fertility difficulties but we also need to make sure it would be an interesting publication to the 'outsiders'.
I'm in the same situation re the sections. Needs to have the structure as suggested, and I do quite like the whole story-line thing. The problem being that we're all at different stages on the road, and we can't all comment on each section, we can only write our stories so far + what we dream for the future. I think the difficulty of having it as 'Paul's story', 'Chase' story', and so on, is that each of us will, I'm sure, have a significant amount to tell, and we would run the risk of losing the interest of the reader if we had 6 or 7 full legnth stories, one after another, in one book (does that make sense?). For example, I'm currently writing my pre-treatment chapter, which covers the time we first found we had a problem, to when we actually started 'treatment' with a fertility clinic. This period covers approx 18 months, lots of operations, disappointments, discoveries, etc. So far I've written just under 2000 words... and I'm basically on the very first operation and I'm being brief because time has passed! I'm not sure how much I have to say about this part of our journey, but would think it is, at the very least, another 2000 words. The later chapters will, of course be longer because there's more detail to include.
I don't know... maybe we just can't make the decision on format until we have the actual content in front of us? Perhaps we should concentrate on production before we start marketing?? Afterall, right now we have nothing to market!
Don't worry about ff getting a mention my friend, i don't think there's any among us who would let this thing be published without it!!!

Great to actually see a list too!

Come on guys... we need your input!

Woppa... thanks so much for volunteering to be Dougie's PA for the next year or so. We'll have a word with him not to put you under too much pressure! Reckon I should do the same with Angie... then I'll have someone to blame for all the typo's and missed deadlines too! (clever bugger that Dougie! ;) )

As always...

Catch

^dancing spot^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Hi there all,  Deb10's DH here, my name is Ian btw, sorry for not putting it on before, was in a bit of a rush, but wanted to put my presence out there....

Anyways, I have a login now, so should be on a bit more..

Good luck with the EC Paul, hope it all goes well.

The Book stuff, great idea and I reckon I can contribute something before Xmas fairly easily, we are still in the investigation phase really, so not too much but enough to contribute I hope.

I agree with Catch22 about the structure of the book, I reckon having chapters based around the various phases of the whole IVF circus will give the book an easier reading feel, with each guys story about that phase in a few pages, or paragraphs really.  If you just have one guys whole story after another, it is not such a 'keeper' of a book...
Some thoughts on what Sections could be:
'Somethings wrong, why no baby?' - Initial thoughts when you discover that this is going to take longer than expected...
'Confessions of a cubicle ******' - Thoughts about the SA's, been done a bit before in the press, but guys are still interested
'Oh ******, its me!' - Finding out that you have a low sperm count, whether to tell friends, etc, reactions and the anger, resentment and questions one feels/has.
'The urologist - your new 'close' friend' - All the physical exams we have endured
'EC - D Day - but more important' - The worries, stress and having to give a good sample, etc on the big day.

The rest you guys might be able to expand upon, I havent had an EC yet, but lets chat more about it.

Agree on the celeb stuff, keep it simple, just an endorsement, I am getting the idea that this is a book for blokes, by blokes, type thing, celebs will turn it all a bit 'heat magazine'...

Possible thought for the cover title, and a bit off track, but what about trying for something more controversial, e.g. having something like 'wank' or 'Jaffa' in the title/cover, something that might get the reviews in the paper?  LIke the men at work idea, but depending on what you guys think, maybe we can push the boundaries a bit?  Might also appeal to a wider range of guys, think of the 'Nuts'/'Zoo'/'Loaded' type of reader?

Anyways, I will start on a few stories and will post them up when I can... speak laters
 
1 - 20 of 38 Posts
Top