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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My little boy is almost three months old and a glimmer of normality is in the distance.  Parenthood is always more unexpected and surprising then you imagine and/or remember.
I still sometimes look at him and feel amazed that he is with us.  I do feel incredibly lucky.

I shall update the FET diary with all the birth details but for now I will jump into life right now....

I have found the first 12 weeks quite challenging at times. I love him so much.

Isolation has also been a factor.  I am very close to my family and never expected to go through pregnancy and new mother period without their face to face to support. COVID is terrifying.

I worked right up to the birth as it was brought forward so never really had a break before giving birth

I am also not yet fully scanned to check everything is okay re cancer reoccurrence so that’s been on my mind also.  It looks like I can’t be fully checked until after I stop breastfeeding.  These days the guidance is that weaning should only start at 6mths and I had planned to start the transition from breast to bottle around weaning at three months so it looks like I will have to continue longer.

Anyway, sleep is precious and little mister is asleep so I should sleep also.

Night night x

Anyway,  just wanted to encourage myself to start this diary by submitting a little something
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Tough couple of days as the little one was out of sorts post vaccination.  Not much sleep.

The first 8 weeks I would say I really didn’t get much sleep, it was growling with constant cluster feeding.  You know that you won’t get much sleep with a newborn but the reality, nothing prepares you for it.  You make it through though, you look at your little bundle and it helps you through. 

In those early weeks i could not believe it fully.  I would fall asleep as DS slept and wake up suddenly saying to myself “oh my god I have got a baby”, almost a sense of panic until I turned my head and saw him safe and sound in the crib.

I am hoping that tonight he will sleep a solid 4 hrs before waking up for a feed.

Wish me luck!  Sleep awaits....for a brief time anyway....😆
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Little DS is 4 Months Old...

Well I still find parenting extremely tiring and I have been on here but yet not able to write anything and even try to really read anything else.  That being said, I love my little boy so very much so it’s not a problem.  I am focus on the fact that my baby is growing fast and I really want to soak it all up.

I am trying not be anxious but I am aware that my son loves to breast feed and challenging times are ahead as I transfer him away from this around six months so that I can have my cancer checks. My oncologist thinks that the screening results could be misleading due to thick breast feeding tissue.  I am keen to get this done to make sure everything is still okay.

After that there is the conversation about a plan for a sibling or not and returning to work date.  So basically the ending of the breast feeding period has implications for different conversations.  I am glad that I have managed to breast feed with only one breast.  It will be sad when it comes to an end but I am grateful for the experience so far.

Jx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I have to confess, I am not entirely sure where I should continuing my story. I guess I am used to my cycle diaries but since life is happening now outside of Fertility treatment perhaps I will stay here for now… or maybe I will post the same in both or maybe just copy paste any fertility commentary into the cycle diary….

Anyway, I had my oncology check. It was the first since my little son was born. I have felt okay and had not noticed any symptoms so hoped that I was okay. Thankfully all was well.
I looked and felt great and left the consultation feeling very happy. This is because my oncologist has given me the green light to pursue having a sibling with my remaining embryos. I was not expecting such positivity to be honest. It was lovely. The only caveat is that I should do so swiftly and then resume the meds for a few years after that.

In an ideal world I would wait until little DS was maybe two and half before trying to provide a sibling but from a child bearing perspective, I am 43 going on 44, I don’t want to push my luck and from a medication point of view I need to be prompt. I guess the big issue that I have in this moment is that I am exhausted and only just recently returned to work and still need to wean little DS off the night time boob which is proving challenging as he is teething, the top front two teeth. Lots of comfort needed.

I have definitely mentally committed to trying with my remaining embryos as I would love little DS to grow up with sibling of a similar age. I know statistically I may have already had the normal embryo already from my one IVF cycle relative to my age at egg collection but I am hoping that we will be lucky again. The question is when and how do I do it… and how will get little DS to sleep at night and off the boob! Aaargh! 😆
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Today was a bit of a strange day. Maybe it’s the Sunday night melancholy kicking in, I don’t know.

So tonight my little one had his 8/9 feed from the bottle without changing over to the boob. This is good. I will give him a bottle in the wee hours and then probably 4/5if he wakes. He doesn’t tend to take much in those feeds I think because he is still quite sleepy. I am hoping that he will be less keen to be awake for a comfort feed if he knows that it will likely just be a bottle but we shall see…

2am… the night so far

6pm breast
8pm feed from the bottle and straight to sleep
10pm from the boob, bottle was just prepared and too hot
1am boob and bottle
The next feed will be tricky as I will be very drowsy myself and its easy to put him on the breast out of sleepy habit

let’s see how we go

The 4am ish bottle was rejected 😆
 
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