[Maisyz]

I just discovered that my chances of having a child are well pretty low. I have also found out that people who are younger than me (although thwy have worse test results than me) are being bumped to the top of the IVF queue ahead of me. Seems to me age discrimination is alive and kicking in the NHS. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't deny anyone their chance but just because I just hit 39 doesn't mean I don't deserve a chance to be a mum or am I wrong?

 

[Kitty71]

Hi Maisyz,

When did they say you can start your tx? They have to do your tx before you are 40 so hopefully you won't have to wait too long. I'm 39 too so I know how time can be an issue.

I think most clinics do their upmost to push through the older ladies but I imagine they have to let younger ladies move up the lists too else they'd be on them forever.

What has your clinic said about the waitin time??

Kitty xx

 

[Maisyz]

My clinic haven't given a date, they have just insisted on a whole range of STD tests which they have had 2 years to complete. Meanwhaile I discovered a 30 year old who ahs worse results than me is straight to the top of the list and starting treatment in January.

 

[Kitty71]

Sorry you are having a tough time 

When are you 40? It's in the NICE guidlines that as long as you have been approved for funding you have to be treated before then. If you don't mind me asking what investigations have you had so far and what were the outcomes? Also what STD tests are they insisting on??

PM me if you would rather.

kitty xxx

 

[hoping :)]

Hi, im guessing with the 30yr olds problems may increase with age? ie quality of eggs, etc. at our info eve we were told older patients get seen as a priority as they have cut off points with age and tx. so i doubt they will keep u waiting much longer. can i b nosey? how did u find out the 30yr old got bumped up? i dnt have a clue who is or was b4 me.x x

 

[Maisyz]

Only recently hit 39, had all the tests bloods, HSG, hysteroscopy and laproscopy, AMH, the hideous internal scan, all of them. Clinic seem disinterested in older women, hence my view. As for STD tests that was raised by the nurse who said as I'd had an abnormal smear i was the sort of person who needed to make sure I didn't have chlamydia. (Yes I did consider slapping her)

 

[Kitty71]

Hi Maisyz,

Well if your tubes are nice and clear I wouldn't have thought chlamydia would be an issue for you and I think the hidden C tests can only be done abroad and are not usually done until further down the line.

Whatever your clinic's view on older women are they have to abide to guidelines so I'd insist on some sort of timescale from them. As I said if you are approved then they will have to get a wriggle on!! How man cycles does your PCT fund for. If it's more than one then there is even more reason for them to treat you.

k x

 

[justone]

Tx waiting list isn't always fairest... Referred for ICSI tx by GP in Oct '06 aged 36. Told by GP NHS funded waiting list v short so opted to wait for that. Began tx in May 2010!!!!!! (Turned 40 in July.) BFN Aug 2010. Now about to begin self-funded ICSI in Jan 2011. DH and I have felt v resentful about misinformation from GP so changed GP. Told consultant our story and while she was v sympathetic, she could do nothing for us...

 

[justone]

Sorry forgot to add: Here in NI we are only entitled to one NHS funded tx...

 

[Maisyz]

I believe it's one cycle and apparently we can't top up NHS with private funding (for Array) as we wished to. I was horrified to be told I was the sort of person who neede STD ests given I've been with my OH for over 18 years. They won't give a timescale and act like they are doing us a massive favour by even condescending to see us.

 

[justone]

Nasty... Is there nowhere else you can go for tx?

 

[Maisyz]

We could in theory transfer tretment, spoke to PALS who were appaled and advised me to transfer elsewhere but it's always more delay at the end of the day. Now seems the tests needed are standard but as I said 2 year to do it and lord knows they've stuck every imiaginable thing up me or inme and taken every form of bodily substance in existaence so shouls have sorted it by now. It was bad enough facing an abnormal smear plus treatment and worrying self stupid it could be cancer for months but being labelled a slapper (which is what I feel she did in her attitude to me) was unforgiveable.

 

[justone]

You poor wee pet... Sending you lots of and and also praying that your dreams will be realised for you...

 

[coweyes]

Maisyz


I think the nhs guidelines are that people get seen by 4 months, know this must not always be the case, but think if its longer than that its due to your local pct.  Personally i would be very surprised that anyone was pushed up the list in front of others.  Personally i would question how this person thought that they had been pushed up the queue? Maybe they have been misinformed.

 

[Maisyz]

Hi Coweyes, yes heard about this whole pathway bobbins but it's been beyond 4 months since I first had contact with the clinic, in fact first heard from them in July then didn't see them until this month. Pretty sure the person who said they got pushed up the list isn't misinformed their consultant pushed them through (and good for them etc) I imagine with higher success rates for younger people thats what the clinic want whereas oldies like me don't matter. That's certainly the impression I got, there was a lot of emphasis on my age by them. I'd be a good mum even though I'm old.

 

[vickym1984]

In soem trusts everyone has to have a chlamydia test, it is in our trust. Don't think of it as a judgement of you, its just one of the boxes they have to tick xx

 

[coweyes]

Maisyz


I think the guidelines are so that you get seen by the clinic with in that time line, this does not mean that you start treatment with in that time line too.  I would say it took me 6 months for me to start treatment after my first appointment with the clinic.  Yes there was a few other issues that delayed it but think it would have only delayed it by a few months.


So do you actually have a date for your first appointment?  Clinics deal mostly with older woman so i am not saying this does not happen but i would say if you feel this is the case, change clinics because i would not think this was normal practice.


As for younger woman having having higher success rates, yes that may be true but just like any fertility issue there are a lot more factors involved than that.  As a "young woman" myself" i was told i had a higher chance than most woman, but as you can see from my signature, this has not been the case so far.  I have had 3 lots of treatment and have watched both younger and older woman for fill their dreams when i have only been left to pick the pieces up.  This journey is very difficult for all people regardless of age.  All people have to have lots of tests regardless of your situation. If your not happy with your clinic or the attitude they have towards you then change clinics.  But i think most people on here would tell you that they have been in a situation that have left them feeling violated and angry, i know i have.  Like i said if you think your clinic is treating you wrongly change, if not then stay with them but remain focused and just except some of the horrid things that you have to do.


ps that was not meant to sound patronising, but i have personally found staying focused the best way to see me through.  xxx