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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just wondering how people are getting on with telling people what's going on, or not. 

I'm 8dp3dt and getting familiar AF cramps now, so I think we're due a BFN again.  But we've not told anyone what we're doing at all as it's too hard to talk about.  My sister is due to deliver her first, conceived naturally and easily, in a couple of weeks and I don't want to get in the way of their excitement.  But our OTD is 4th June and I'm not going to be able to hibernate afterwards - I'm going to have to be the happy, chirpy aunty and it's going to be so difficult. 

I did tell her a few months ago that we were going to an open evening at the clinic, and she asked yesterday if I'd "thought any more about it" - hmmm, how about every day!!  I can't feel cross with her, it's my choice not to talk about it - but the way I see it is I don't know the exact details of how their child was conceived (and don't want to!!), so why should we share this?  Plus I don't think I could face the sympathy over the BFNs.

Sorry, bit of a self-indulgent rant.  I'll blame it on the hormones as I'm normally so well balanced...

Good luck to everyone still waiting.
 

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Thats a hard one to answer. We told our family, very close friends, and work colleagues on our first attempt. Our second one we will keep to ourselves i think, apart from my very best friend who will come to some appointments with me. Its a pain telling everyone as you seem to keep having the same conversations over and over again, but the plus point is, if they are real friends they are there to laugh with you and cry with you, and at times like these we need our friends.  Thats just my personal point of view and people may agree or disagree, you must choose what is right for you.  Anyway hope you get a big fat huge whopping bfp!!!!!!!!!!! ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^pray^ ^pray^

Kate xx ^hugme^
 

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Hi Sunfizz,
Generally I do tell but I completely understand where you are coming from.
Are you not being a bit hard on yourself putting a brave face on ? Would your sister not be hurt is she found out you had all that to contend with and you didn't let on? You don't have to be superwoman and they might be more understanding and supportive than you expect.
Of course the whole privacy of it and potiential surprise announcement etc go out the window. It's is so unfair, but then we have already said goodbye to our lives panning out as planned.
In my first 2 tx we didn't tell dh's family (dh is a private person very independent from them) and I regretted it because invariably there would be some family get together in 2ww or bfn aftermath and there I would be with my big fake smile all bloated and pale and I think they just thought I was a miserable cow. I found it all very uncomfortable and embarassing and so we told them on last tx and it really is a weight lifted off. Of course his ones aren't keen on talking about feelings ( god forbid all very stiff upper lip ). But it's out there and I get a by ball if I'm obviously not on form.
Hopefully it will be good news.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Good advice both, thanks very much.  It's great to hear other people's points of view. I do think it's easier at the moment to go for the brave face rather than take the sympathy though.  And my sister's rather fatuous first response when I first told her we had IF issues and would need most likely need Tx was to say "oh well, you can always adopt" - spot the person who's NEVER had to face this!  Would any of us really put ourselves through the needles, the drugs, the indignity, the discomfort, the intrusion, if adoption was a quick and easy alternative for everyone.  So I'm still smarting a bit from that one and am not sure my hormones/patience levels are quite at the point where I'd be ready to take any more of it!

The rant has helped, thanks for listening.  I'll now climb back in my box and wait for AF or OTD.
 
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