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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone,

I need help to decide - I am starting treatment on the 1st of January. It is my second go. During first attempt I haven't told my employers about it. Now I have a dilema - shall I tell them and get rid of extra stress of being late on few mornings or shall I just make some excuses about it? My employers are two men and my ops manager is a man too... That's why I have a dilema... :-\

Please help me with your experiences.

Thank you.
S. x
 

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I would be very careful - few people understand what this involves and people may form totally wrong opinions.
Some can be very ignorant about this, particularly men. Of course, it really depends on the specific people and they may be absolutely wonderful about it, but you never know.
I would not dream about telling my bosses at work (they are all men as well). We had a case when one of our managers was going through IVF and had to tell the HR director. He was really horrible about it and was not happy that her EC fell on a specific day - kept trying to make her postpone it, because they were busy at work.

If you have to tell, you can compromise and say that you have a medical condition and you are being monitored before having surgery (EC is a surgical procedure after all). Then just tell them when your "surgery" is schedulded for and you would be off for a few days after that.

Of course this is just my opinion, it all depends on your individual circumstances. But you should also keep in mind that these people will be fully informed about how you got pregnant should you succeed. Do you want to advertise so much personal information it at work?
 

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Hi,

Everyone has very different idea's on this and it is hard if your company doesn't have an IVF policy.

I told my employers because I had to go to the clinic every other day for two weeks to have scans and blood tests done.  I was lucky because my clinic was only 20 minutes away and I could be there and back within an hour.  They also said I didn't have to make up the time I had off.

This meant that I was under no stress at all and I actually found working through it all quite a relief, as sitting at home worrying about the outcome would have made me worse.

Some women get signed off by their Dr for the whole period of IVF.

So it really is a personal decision.

Good luck.

x
 

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Hi

I have told my employers about my circumstances re Ivf & I am very lucky to have such understanding bosses as they have been 100% flexible with me right throughout my treatments so far & have always said to let them know if there is anything they can do to help. Asda are a good company to work for.

Shell x
 

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Hi Angelicstar,


Its hard to decide whether to tell or not. my last workplace weren't particularly good when i told them, and i was only part time. - i had  a female boss.


my new work place ...i am thinking of telling but probably wont.


Personally, if i had male bosses now i WOULD tell them. in my experience they can be much kinder than women bosses - odd i know!
and i have heard the same from several people on ff. some say that the men are a bit embarrassed so are kinda relaxed about it cos of that, others say that the boss replied saying his wife/sister/cousin/friend had been thru the same. others are just kind and open. this is 2012 afterall.


Best of luck with whatever you decide.


S x
 

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I fessed up because I was starting a new job at same time as starting tx -  ^idiot^  I know  ;) .  Dh already worked there so we didn't want to be seen as misleading them.  They were actually really good about it and really appreciated fact that we were honest and said that it made no difference to them because afterall I could have taken the job and then got pregnant naturally straight away without giving them warning so I still got job and time off for all the appointments. 
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hi Ladies,

Thank you all for your replies. I think I will have a chat with my boss and tell him that I am having some tests etc, not full story.
Think its better to have less stress on my shoulders.

Hope you are all doing well.
Sending you all love.
XXX
 
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