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Hi,

Just looking to connect with anyone who may be in/have been in a similar situation to us..we have a 4yo son who is genetically ours (own eggs/sperm - conceived via IVF). We've had many failed cycles since, including 1 with donor sperm and are now looking at using a donor embryo to have a 2nd child. We always saw ourselves having a bigger family but have obviously experienced lots of difficulty along the way bringing us to this decision. We have found a embryo to donate via our clinic that is a match for me and husband based on eye and hair colour but we aren't able to see photos of the donors (as children in order to look for likeness either to ourselves or our son).

Feel like we are the only ones in the world to be in this situation although I know there must be more of us out there so if you are then please get in touch!!

I feel so mixed up with what to do...part of me wants to not do it and just get my head around being a family of 3 but then i worry about having regrets further down the line...I feel like if we have a failed cycle with the donor embryo it will give me more closure than just stopping now as i will know we have tried every possibility....but scared about the baby not looking like either of us/having no genetic links to any of us..and the implications this will have on the child as they grow older...especially as our son will have those links.

Any advice from anyone who is also in this situation or who has a family similar to this would be much appreciated!!

Thank you xx
 

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Hi,

We have OE/OS children, my eldest is my husband's step son and we have our youngest conceived through double donor.

Absolutely no regrets here. The love each child brings with them is unique to them. All my kids have similar facial features, but different hair colourings, even between the two OE/OS children.

Eldest is dark haired, next is dark haired with grey flecks showing through (takes after me, I started going grey at 9 yrs old, I'm now nearly silver all over), next child has dirty blonde hair and the youngest has auburn hair with ginger/blonde flecks.

I think it helped that we both come from blended families so it wasn't a massive leap for us. I had a half brother on my mum's side (both R.I.P now), and I have a half brother and a half sister on my dad's side. Hubby had 3 full siblings and 2 half siblings on his dad's side.

For us, it was totally the right decision. I cannot answer for you, that has to come from within. However, I always think Feel the fear and do it anyway, what's the worst thing that could happen?

I suppose you have to ask yourself what is important to you.

Having a genetic baby and sibling or having a baby and sibling. For us, we yearned for another baby. Genetics didn't really play a part in it. Double donor was our best shot at achieving our goals.

I hope you find an answer you are comfortable with.
 
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