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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
returning to work at end of aug - doing 24 hours so 4 short shifts, using the nursery at work, start settling in sessions a few weeks before the big day - feel physically sick every time i think about leaving littleun, not so long ago, would cry too - so a bit better -
was wondering is anyone going back to work around the same time, and fancy giving each other  bit of moral support ????
Janine xx
 

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Hi,

Im due back 25th aug  :mad:  ;D Just had a meeting to discuss hours with my manager, not long got in. It went surprisingly well, Im doing 2 days to start to see how i get on then will up to 3/4.

Its so hard isnt it, We have looked into nursery and whileits still an option i just cant bring myself to send him there just yet  ;D

So ill be your buddy if you will have me  ;)  ;D

Nikki xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Nikki !
Thanks for offer !
I am due back 25th August too ! Yuck eh ?
I have only left scarlett for 2 hours once with grandad and nanny and apparently she was completely fine but I think we both have the biggest shock of our lives coming when I leave her at the nursery
Be great to share the process with you xxx
 

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Hi Janine
Sorry to gatecrash but just wanted to say that it does end up ok.  Before I went back to work I felt just the same - if you search for my posts you'll see I posted something along those lines.  You won't believe me (I didn't believe other people who said the same to me) but it will be alright. 
I would just add that it took quite a while for me to feel like this.  For the first month I spent nearly every day trying to think of ways I could stay at home.  For the second month I spent the first 2 days of the working week (I work 4 days too) trying to work out ways I could stay at home.  For the third month I spent the first day of the working week trying to work out ways I could stay at home (you'll see there's a pattern emerging here!!)  Now I'm at the stage where I miss my DS like mad still, but also quite enjoy the time when I'm me and not just mummy. 
Please try not to do what I did and waste loads of the last few weeks of my Maternity Leave dreading being away from your LO.  I remember too many car journeys where I'd look over at his little face and I'd start crying just imagining leaving him.  It really won't be as bad as you're thinking.
And - my LO absolutely adores nursery which is just great!
Loads of luck
Tams xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Tams - you are an absolute star because your post is great !
You are totally right - i could ruin the rest of my mat leave by constantly being on "count down" - i have been thinking X amount of weeks til the party ends ....... because I am having such a ball being home and doing loads of fun stuff with littleun - baby massage, sensory, swimming, sing and sign, picnics,  story group at library etc etc.... it breaks my heart to think I wont be doing all of these things.
But then I think because I finish work at 2pm, I will still be able to have time with her ,and just need to make the most of the time that I have with her - gosh just hope I am not too tired ...
Oh I just feel so miffed off that I have to leave her but I worked hard to get my job, its a good job and I cant let it slip away - isn't it all difficult ? I feel jealous of the old days when the women stayed at home, no question - but then in the old days people like me and dp wouldn't have a baby cos they didn't have icsi  - oh dear xx
 

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Just to add Tams is absolutely right - i'm a bit further on than you ladies and I now have a very confident, outgoing, well feeding, well disciplined (most of the time) toddler and some of this is down to nursery - he plays well with others and knows to share when other LO's come to play.  My ds absolutely adores nursery to the point that when i'm on maternity leave again later this year ideally we'd have taken him from nursery so we could save some money BUT I can't do it because he loves it SO much so i'll reduce his hours instead.  Take Tams advice and do not spend the last of your maternity leave fretting about leaving your little one because you'll regret it, also these little people are superb at picking up our feelings and will probably be miserable with you whilst your fretting!!!!

Love and hugs to you all

Bev xx
 

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Can I join the Buddy group??  ;D ;D

My mat pay runs out the end of Aug too so looks like I'm going back to work too. Dunno what job tho as currently looking for a new one!!  ;D ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
kitten, lovely to have you join us, how you feeling about leaving littleun ?

bev - thanks for that, i have read your post a few times, cos it makes me feel really positive - thank you xxxxx

 

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Mixed really!!

When we are having a good day, I really dread leaving him.  :'( But, if we're having a nightmare day, I kinda look forward to going back to work, to be able to have some 'me' time!!  :-[ ;D ;D ;D

Better go! C making some strange noises...... wonder if we're gona get some more projectile vomit?!?!?!
 

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I still cant deceide......im still not sure wether to put L in nursery for 1 day  :-\ This is the hardest decision i have ever had to make, and i wonder wether im doing the right thing.

I never realised it would be this hard. All along ive said i want to return to work and now L is here its half and half  ::)
 

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Hi ladies,

Can I join in too.  I am going back for last week of school term in July whilst my mum and dad have J for the week, then back on the 4th Sept (ish) for the start of the new school year, going down to 3 days a week.  I'm not so upset or worried about July as he will be with my folks and they are so fab with him.  The longest I have been away from J is no more than 3 hours, so that week will be hard, but for some reason I can cope with the thought of it.  However I have booked Js nursery which seems lovely and I'm sure he will love it and I'm sure I'll enjoy the time to myself (eventually).  BUT it still doesnt make me feel any better.  I am angry that we cant afford for me to stay off, I am sad that whilst I am having to paying for someone else to look after the love of my life whilst I will be with other peoples children.  :'(  Sorry rant over. 

I too am trying to make the most of the time I have left with J, but I keep being overcome by this overwhelming sense of sadness.  The worse thing is I keep having dreams about it.  The last one involved me trying to get there to pick him up, but I kept getting distracted and forgetting about him.  Woke up in tears after that one.  :(

Anyway, so hope I havent made you any sadder about the whole thing.  I will pick myself up and it will be all ok  ^pray^ It doesnt help yet that work havent yet confirmed which days I am doing as the timetable hasnt ben finalised yet.  ^bigbad^

For those of you who are using a nursery, how many intro sessions are you going to do?  My nursery recommends just a couple and just to get stuck straight in.  How long will your littlies be in for.  I work quite away from home so J will be in from 7.30am till 5(ish).

Anyway by for now, have a nice weekend,

Mel xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
hi mel - thanks for joining us xx

I haven't had dreams like that thank goodness but I did have weird dreams when she was first born; dreams where I was trying to get somewhere with her and didn't feel safe in the environment ..... yucky !

I am going back for the equivalent of 3 days but I am doing 4 short days instead, I just feel better with S having a shorter nursery day, than less days but longer there.

Our nursery recommended a few settling in sessions the week before she starts, but because I have only left her once for a short while - family not local etc.  i am doing extra few settling sessions

xx
 

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Hi,
Can i join you too. I'm going back to work at the beginning of September for 2 days a week. I also teach hence the returning at the beginning of the school year.
We've organised a childminder for Ben but I am very worried as I havent left him much at all so far.
He's going to have a settling in period at the end of August but just not sure how he'll be as he's currently going through the I hate strangers phase.
Good to know we're all in the same boat.
Sg

 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Hi sg - tough isn't it ?
I go into wotk on fri to discuss how things have gone in the team since I have been off - not looking forward to it, its going to be a big reality check - one I don't want !
 

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Hi,

Hope all goes well on Friday.
Sg
 

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Good luck for friday Janinec
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
thanks folks !

went in on friday and everyone was really lovely, its been 6 months since I last popped in so a bit weird ! Little un managed to do a really big poo whilst we were travelling in to work, so as soon as I got there, I had to change her, and it was the largest leakiest poo I have seen in MONTHS !! so all clothes had to be changed, I had dressed her to impress - silly I know - and ended up wearing the emergancy clothes I keep in the bag - not the tidiest, just the ones that roll up the smallest !
anyway after that wonderful start, babs was entertained by colleagues whilst I had catch up talk - and my goodness I realised how much my brain is still in a different gear ! Because I feel so less rusty than I did 6 months ago, I thought I was pretty much back to as sharp as I was before - but no way ! I now realise I am rusty and need to allow myself to get back up to speed when I return to work.

Anyway I am not worried about that - my main concern is still I DONT WANT TO LEAVE MY BABY !
 

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Janine,  good to hear things went well, once your back in the swing of things you will be fine, but will take a few weeks to settle down.  ;D to the big poo, L did one yesterday that went everywhere and i mean everywhere  ::) i think i had more on me  ;D

I still have to phone work and confirm what days im doing. Filled up my car today and was nearly sick  ^eyes^ Im not really sure its going to pay me to travel (or am i making excuses?  ;D ) so at the same time im looking for something closer to home

I still dont know whether im doing the right thing, will this feeling ever go away?  ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
hi dakota - thanks x

filled up my car yesterday havent done this for ages as I just walk with the buggy everywhere and my goodness ! What a difference - so much more expensive than when i was at work- grim

cheered myself up a bit this week finding out what annual leave i have accrued since being off on mat leave and planning my time off !!
 
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