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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
HAs anyone else had this, and how much of a problem was it??

We are both overweight, and at our info eve, we asked the SW about it, she said it wouldnt stop us going through the process, but would probably mean that at the end we would not be approved.

We know we need to lose weight, and that isnt an issue, but I wondered if others have had this as a problem at all.
 

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Dear Hevs
I'm on the 'chunky' side (I was edging over a size 18 and am only 5'6" – I blame all of the fertility drugs, of course) and it has never been mentioned. DH is tall (over 6') and slim (34" waist), so the weight issue didn't bother him (he likes my curves). In fact, the only time it was 'discussed' was at my medical. My lovely Dr did all of the tests and when it came to weight I asked for it to be in kgs as it doesn't mean much to me... when she told me my weight I said "too much?!" and she just said "we could all do with losing a few pounds, don't worry"... and that was it. I felt sure that they would mention me being 'cuddly' at panel, but nothing was said about it.
I think your SW is trying to panic you into losing the weight... why would they 'take you on' the process if they didn't think you had a high chance of being approved? If you have a nice GP, it might be worth having a chat as it is really only a medical issue – they want to make sure we'll be around for the littlies in 20 years' time and that we have the stamina to keep up with them.
I wouldn't let it put me off. I've found with all of the 'childcare experience' we've been doing to help us with this process, I've lost weight anyway... running around after the children is great exercise!
Good luck with your decision. I hope everything goes well.
Love
E
 

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Hi hun

My BMI is over 30 (i am a size 20 +) and when having tx it was always and issue however witht eh adoption process it was never ever mentioned however the LA did mention in a few meeting about my DH weight- yes his is a bigger guy however has no health issues at all and is ex forces and has always been "big" even some of his reports from his MOD days says about over weight however fitter then he looks.

Our LA had to just show that DH being over weight wouldnt stop him being an active parent to a sibling group (we wanted to be matched to 2-3 children 0-5yrs, we got matched to 2 children under 4) Our childrens SW is a larger lady and our SW did say that this helped as their SW is very active and it goes to show you dont have to be thin to be "fit"

dont let it put you off!

good luck

xxx
 

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Hiya

I too was worried about this tbh. I am a size 18 at 5"6 and when i had my medical i was extremely worried as to what LA's medical examiner would say. Well ours came back with no comments on it. SW said that the most important thing is the last box and my dr had put that i was of good health which i am as even though i am overweight i have no issues with high blood pressure etc.

As the others have said try not to worry about it, easier said than done i know as i am a worrier.

Good luck

Nefe  :)
xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks everyone, Im 5'7 and a size 24. So I know I am tooo overweight.  I have lost about a stone since January, and I can see my husband has lost weight as well. 
We go swimming twice a week, and are hoping to go at least one more time a week. 

The problem I can see is that my husband is on blood pressure tablets, he is monitored regularly by the GP who is very strict on it. It is nicely controlled, it hasn't changed since they changed his tablets 4 yrs ago. He is also Asthmatic, which again is controlled, in the 4 yrs I have known him, I have only ever known him use his ventolin a handful of times!!
But I wonder if they will make an issue of it all. We swim regularly as I said, and he has a heavy manual job, so he is active, when he isnt at work he is working in the garden, pottering around the garage or out with the dog, so he rarely sits and stagnates.

It is a worry, and the SW the other night made me panic over it.  But I guess we need to take each day as it comes really. x

Thanks everyone. xx    Heather.
 

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Weight can be an issue depending on the LA.  I was a size 20 when we first applied but as my medical showed that I had no health problems it wasn't a big issue.  The SS doctor did bring it up at our approval panel but I explained that although I might not always stick to them I did know the rules for healthy eating.

I think the two main concerns are for LA's is that your weight can either:

1.  Cause health issues that might affect you having the normal expected lifespan (ie they want you to stay around to look after the children)

2.  Indicate that you are unaware of what foods are "good" for you and feed the kids in such a way that they end up with a weight problem.

I think the fact that you are aware of your weight problems and are attempting to rectify them should stand you in good stead.  Lots of people have high blood pressure and not always related to being overweight, also lots of people have asthma so they would really be restricting applicants if they start discounting them on that basis.  Hopefully your doctor will be able to show in your medical checks that although your DH has these problems, they are well under control.

The problem is that if can lead to loads of comfort eating which is a hard habit to break.  I know it's not a habit I've managed to break yet.  Running after the kids should have helped me to lose weight.  As it is I'm the same weight I was 4 years ago when we had our medicals as the kids run us ragged sometimes so DH and I often turn to comfort eating and wine.   Mind you we are rather hypocritical as the kids only get chocolate once a week whereas I'm at least once a day  ;D ;D

Best of luck with the process

Cindy
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks, I actually found after our daughter was born, I lost weight as I was so busy with her, I rarely ate, except in the eve for our eve meal. It was only if I went to my mums that I had lunch, she made it, and I ate it  ;After our daughter died we piled it back on, and that was comfort eating. Something Im not proud of at all, I have a wardrobe of clothes a couple of sizes smaller that I cant get into.

We are aware of the fact it is bad eating that causes us to put on weight, and had already talked when I was pregnant about how it felt to be a fat child, and was determined that our girl would not be the same, so we were going to really be careful with her diet. Of course its trying to convince a SW of that  ;D.
But thanks, the comments have all helped veyr much. xxxx ;D
 

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weight is a big issue with our la, but im on a HUGE mission , to get it down!! Having our medicals done 1st to see if they will accept us on waiting list cos of weight !!
 

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Hi Hevs

I can't speak from experience but, like everything else, I guess if you are showing a commitment to eating healthy and losing weight during the process I don't think you will have any problems.  There seems to be so much in the news lately about children being obese and eating nothing but fast food, it wasn't that long ago they were on about taking children into care because of it. 

Most of the time SWs come out with negative comments in order to test our commitment.  Maybe SW said this to see what your reaction would be, ie to continue with the process and at least try to lose weight or to walk away thinking it would all be too hard?

Being 'big' doesn't mean you can't be a good parent but like everything else you have to prove it.

Good luck
Love
OT x
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks everyone.

Hubby went to the swimming baths yesterday, while I was sitting here all snotty and horrible with a stinking cold, and he had got us membership forms to join the swimming baths so we can go as often as we can and it will be cheaper than how we currently do it.
So hopefully this time next year we will both be nice and slim , well certainly smaller than now.  ;D
 
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