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I adopted two wonderful children around 10 weeks ago who have experienced many challenges in their earlier life and the older of the two has insecure attachment problems.

At one point she started wetting herself in the daytime (still in pull ups at night). I was told by SW this was part of her regression and that I needed to just keep calm, get her changed and she'd come out of the other side eventually. She did seem better but she was doing a littel bit of wee in her pants all the time.

She has started at her nursery school as the sw'ers believe she needs the stimulation. She's been upset but its only to be expected. Anyway, she has begun the wetting again whereby she won't go until she's absolutely desperate by which time she either wets herself or she's done a little bit in her pants by the time we get there.

I understand attachment problems but can't help think there is a little bit more to this. It has been suggested by her psychologist that maybe she wasn't potty trained properly and still doesn't have the signal to go to the toilet. Has anyone ever heard of this before? Her nursery teacher says that she has lots of wee's in the day time compared to other children but not really sure what this means either? Has anyone got any ideas of what I can do as this must be horrible for her. When she's wet she gets sore. And i'm finding it quite hard to deal with when i'm asking her if she wants the toilet, she says no and then a couple of minutes later she'll wet herself.

Any advice greatly appreciated xx


Premium Member
4,046 Posts
congratulations on getting your family home :)
firstly just wondering how old your DD is?
secondly has the wetting got worse since starting nursery? if so i would question the sw's idea that she go to nursery just now..at only 10 weeks into placement it seems an insane idea to me if she has attachment problems, especially as she is upset. needing stimulation is a completely different scenario than separating her from you. If she needs more stimulation there are plenty of other things you can do WITH her rather than sending her off to nursery :-\  sorry if that sounds a bit blunt but i hear so many times of children being sent off to school and nursery sson after placement and it seems completely at odds with everything we are told about attachment

re the frequency of the wetting..i had a problem with my DD this time last year when she was 3 1/2 and its reoccuring just now and i am now putting it down to the cold..it just seems to get to her bladder and she seems unable to hold on for very long. her nursery teacher also said last year she went to the toilet loads more times than the other kids..but she was anxious about  the problem she was having and i put it down to that, she was like it at home too..so just to reassure you your DD is not the only one..and if she is anxious at being away from you it could be causing the frequency of the weeing...

kj x
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