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Discussion Starter #1
This subject has always interested me, as i have been seriously thinking about becoming a 'Known' sperm donor when we have a family of our own.

I have just been interested as to what people look for when searching for a known or unknown donor, only that i registered to a site a month ago and have been bombarded with messages, and i must say they made me feel a little uneasy - some requesting to meet that night, the following night etc.... i am not saying that all donor searchers are the same but to me its interesting to learn of what people look for, or is that that people are just grateful of the help no matter what qualities the donor possesses.

Craig x
 

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Hi Craig,

Thanks so much for thinking of becoming a sperm donor - this country needs more men like you!!!!

When we were looking for our donor we wanted a physical match to DH, along with an interest in science and a university degree, and a jewish heritage, so we had pretty strict requirements! I think everyone is different, but lots of people who are using DS I think have a vague idea of what they want the donors atributes to be.

I think from the 'open' donor comment that you are thinking of a private arrangment organised through the internet rather than banking your sperm in a clinic and going through the health checks etc and then regularly donating.......we are using DS through a clinic, but using an 'open' donor as now is required in the UK. This is because we need IVF/ICSI as we are using my frozen eggs, but also because we are reassured that the right details are kept on file for our child to access when they grow up, including family history and testing for genetic and infectious diseases, and we can feel confident in the quality and safety of the samples we are using. Also because for registered donors the HFEA allows only 10 live births per donor, it means that the stock in lots of sperm banks goes down and they neeed new donors to sign up regularly.

Most people using DS for severe MF infertility I think go down the clinic route, while i know lots of gay couples and single women chose the private arrangments. If you are feeling the private arrangment too overwhelming or too personal you may want to register at a clinic instead - then you know that you are helping lots of people, and are going through all the proper screening etc, and also can remain anonymous to the recipient of the sperm, but know that any child can get in touch with you if they choose after the age of 18...............

lots to think about I know, but just wanted to re-interate that I think you are doing a fantastic thing and wish more men were like you!!!!

lots of love
C :-*
 

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Craig how wonderful to consider being a KD something from this thread might be of interest to you.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=48666.0

Also on the lesbian thread there are snippets, as the girls tend to use known donors and home insems not clinic KD donors- not sure which sort of donor you are interested in becoming.

For me I have a known donor (not through a clinic) but a dear friend who is a gay man in a committed relationship.
I had other offers from men, both gay men ,wonderful, caring and kind in nature- both in the caring profession, very attractrive, intelligent, tall and colourings similar to me. For me in the end I chose my current KD as the other guy wasn't British and he wanted more of a co-parenting relationship (which in fact he has latter gone on to do and awaiting his baby's arrivial anyday!!) and I really didn't want a long distance battle should he decide to return to his country of origin.

In fact my KD has a low sperm count, we only discovered this after home AI's and nothing happening, and so we turned to a clinic. I stayed wth him as the values I chose him for still stood just means that we need ICSI! But here we are 5-6 yrs later, my own twists and turns, but he and his partner are amazing and keep me sane. His partner is v involved, he told his family what we were doing and she is supportive.

I am surpised you were approached so soon after annoucing your thoughts of being a KD, a man in demand!!

L x
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Hi both,
Thanks for your replies.

I don't have a problem going through a clinic, but i would still rather it be by personal arrangment and remain a known donor.
With us currently being involved in surrogacy, i have had all the tests i needed for IVF and IVI, i have also had all my STD tests done too.

For some reason, i just don't like the idea of becoming a donor to a clinic, and not know where my sample is going, but again i don't expect any contact with the child born as i would not like to complicate things, i would just like to help somebody after us having help from a surrogate.

To me, we know how hard is it to try and realise a dream, and the only chance we have of that dream is with help, so i guess i just want to do good to somebody else after we have had help from an angel.

Well i guess, selecting a sperm donor is somewhat like selecting a surrogate or egg donor, people look for qualities rather than them just being 'A Donor' or any donor available.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, i have a lot better understanding of things now, and i cannot wait to be able to help somebodies dreams come true :)
xx
 

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Hi Craig

just wanted to say I think you are doing a wonderful thing and am sure that you will be a fab KD and your recipients will be thrilled to have you as their donor. Thank you also for getting the tests etc done as am sure that is very reassuring for your recipient and is so important especially when using a private arrangement. I think the decision to be a KD rather than a clinic donor is a very personal one and you have clearly thought through it all  - and am full of admiration for you.

Goood luck and thanks again - just wish there were more generous wonderful men out there like you
love
Ceci
xx
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Hi Ceci,

Sorry about my late reply - been a bit busy planning our big move :)
Thank you ever so much for your kind and sweet words, i am so in admiration of the feeling of wanting to help others.... i don't want to be a known donor for the credit of having helped somebody, but more that i would like to know that i have made a difference to somebodies lives.
As in our current situation (Having to use a surrogate) both myself and my partner could only start a family and complete our dreams with the help from one - although it would be great if two men could make a baby.... i cannot see that happening just yet  (lol)
But i guess me becoming a donor is me feeling like i have given something back after the help we have/had :)

The tests were important to me, and i will continue to have any tests that are required for peace of mind to a recipient, as far as STD's go, i know i don't have to worry about them as we are in a very loving, monogamous relationship - but again for peace of mind, i have nothing to hide so being tested is never a problem

I just need to work out how to find somebody who needs help now. any ideas?

xx
 
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