hiya
I've asked my dh the same question, bearing in mind we have both had a child with our previous partners but have been unable to conceive a child together.
This is his reply........
Hi
I've been lucky to have had a dd with my ex wife after suffering 9 m/c, one of which was around 20wks, so I have had my fair share of heartache and thrashing out the "whys" and "what ifs".
Has the hospital told you for sure that this "frostie" will not be successful? Every pg and every tx carries its own risks, the thing you've both got to do is sit down, together, and with your Consultant and examine what the risks are.
"If" there's this 99% risk of it not working or "if" there is this 99% risk you may m/c...well..I for one, no matter how much I wanted my own "biological" child, would not be prepared to put my wife/partner through this, as well as myself.
I understand the need for wanting your "own" child, and yes I've been blessed with a dd, but my (ex) wife was always my main concern at the time. Seeing her go through so much pain, anguish, and subsequent depression was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. At one point I didn't feel like I could go on with trying ...afterall...I was in a slightly "easier" position than her...it wasn't me, my body, my emotions having to endure the m/cs but seeing her suffer did my head in.
You both need to weigh up the risks and make any decision together.
I'm now with my 2nd wife, (Angel aka Gayn) and have adopted her son, Sam. He was 4 years old when we met and had had no contact with his "biological" father.
Things were a bit tough to begin with and although I'd had experience of being a "Dad" it was different dealing with Sam as he was not my "own".
We now have a great relationship and I love him like my "own". He's not got my genes, he doesn't look like me, (spitting image of his Mum) but...he's "my boy" through and through. He's picked up a lot of my traits, my mannerisms, my (rude) sense of humour, much to the annoyance of his Mum

This decision can only be reached by you two, and everyone here can only give their opinion and advice, and of course support.
The bottom line then for me is no, I wouldn't take such a risk to have a child with Gayn, she is far more important to me than "my" need to have a biological child, and I'd go for donor sperm.
I wish you both well, and all the best for the future, whatever you decide.
Mr. Angel27 aka Andy