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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The vote on the 'need for a father' in the House of Commons will take place on Tuesday 20th May. Stonewall are urging people to write to their MPs, and as this is a free vote it could make a real difference. I've also heard murmurings that the 'need for supportive parenting' might be replaced with a 'need for two parents' (which would obviously help same sex couples but not single women) so all you single ladies need to fight for this too!

Please see further info at:

http://boards.gingerbeer.co.uk/index.php?topic=79493.0

and please please take the time to write

Natalie

/links
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
It's so difficult to say.  At the moment clinics have to 'consider' the need for a father.  In the past they interpreted that as meaning that they couldn't treat single women at all, but things have shifted over the past few years, and almost all clinics now pretty much ignore the requirement on the basis that it's outdated  (which they can get away with because they only have to 'consider' the need for a father).

The worry is that if Parliament actively decides to keep the 'need for a father' consideration (or replace it with a 'need for two parents' or whatever), then this could trigger clinics to reassess where they stand, and they may well then decide that they can't ignore it, and therefore go back to denying treatment to single women.

This is the worst case scenario, but it's what we're all trying to avoid happening.

Urgh!
 

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Hmmmm - so its ok for someone to have a one night stand, forget to ask for a name and address, end up up the duff and parenting alone.

BUT someone who carefully plans, weighs up the options and still wants to have a family on their own, is penalised by the pen pushers in their ivory towers.

Does that seem wrong to anyone else? :-\
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yes totally.  It's utterly mad.

If you follow the link I posted above, it'll take you to the statement from Stonewall, which tells you exactly what to do (and links to a website where you can search for your MPs contact details by postcode).
 

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Thanks for posting this Nat, I'll follow the link and do it over the weekend. And please all you other single girlies - do the same...

I don't usually get involved in politics of any kind, and I've never really wanted to draw attention to how I'm going about starting a family, but this whole thing makes me so angry.

As Charlies-Mum says, how dare they propose to discriminate against those of us who have made a carefully considered and well thought out decision?
I have a highly paid permanent job, own my own home and have carefully established a network of family and friends to support me and my future child(ren) and yet the proposed changes to the law would suggest that it's OK me to go out and sleep around and take my chances, but it's not OK for me to create my family in a safe and controlled environment? Completely mad....

So pls all, write to your MP before this goes to the Commons vote on the 20th,
Laura
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Agree it's total madness!
Will write the letter this weekend & urge everyone to do the same.

Dottie
 

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I've emailed my MP with a letter.
 

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Ok, I know this is really lazy of me, but I've been working all weekend (to make up for the time I took off whilst pretending I was 'working from home' through EC and ET this week) - would JJ or Dottie (or anyone else who has written one) mind PM'ing me the letter you sent to your MP so I can copy/paste and send to mine?
I know I should write one myself, but totally run out of steam now....

thanks girls!
Laura
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Laura,

I haven't actually done it yet....I read the link that Nat sent through but it seemed to be targetted to lesbian couples.  Just in case I'm being a bit blonde......my understanding if that the new bill will reinforce the need for a father and hence discriminate / stop us from having treatment - is this the case?  If so, I'll just write something to this effect???

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Yes, I checked Nat's link too but it was specifically aimed at Lesbian couples and I was just feeling too lazy to write something more appropriate to single girls

I think the main issue is that if parliment decides to keep the 'consider the need for a father' clause as a pre-requisite for fertility clinics when deciding whether to give treatment, or if they decide to change this to 'consider the need for two parents' - or worse, if they strengthen it to say something along the lines of 'must have a father/two parents' then that will effectively rule single women out of any fertility tx through a clinic at all.....

So we essentially need to write to ensure that our MPs vote to either remove this clause entirely, or to keep it as it currently is - a guideline for consideration rather than something definitive (ie a means to deny tx to single women). And I guess we need to emphasise how carefully we have made our decision to bring a child into the world, and how there is no evidence that there is any negative impact on children of single mothers by choice like us (ie older, professional women with good incomes and stable backgrounds) - from an intellectual or social perspective....

I kind of know what needs to be said, I'm just not really in the right mind state to write it very eloquently at the moment....will try to draft something tomorrow when I'm feeling a bit more awake...

Laura
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Here's some wording you might want to use:

On Tuesday 20th May I understand you will have the opportunity to exercise your free vote on the issue of whether fertility doctors should have to consider a child's 'need for a father' before offering fertility treatment.  I urge you to support the proposal to update this wording to the 'need for supportive parenting' to ensure that I - and other single women like me -have access to safe licensed treatment to start a family, and are not forced to resort to riskier methods of getting pregnant. 

Updating the 'need for a father' provision will be of very little practical effect.  Fertility treatment using donor sperm is already widely available to single women because clinics regard the existing law as outdated and redundant.  However, a positive decision to re-implement the 'need for a father' could force clinics to readdress their current practice, and this could threaten the availability of treatment to single women. 

There is no evidence that children raised by committed solo mothers who choose single parenthood are any worse off than children raised by heterosexual couples, so there is no justification for keeping the 'need for a father' consideration.  Please support me, and others like me next Tuesday, and help ensure that single women who wish to become mothers are able to do so safely.



Apologies that the link I posted was lesbian-focused - I just thought you'd find the link to the MP search useful.

Natalie

 

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Natalie - thanks for that! It's a big help.  I'll get on to it straight away.

Dottie

 

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Thanks for your support feehilyfan - every bit helps.
Just read your 'signature'  - made me well up a bit!  Hope everything going well for you.

x
 

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I am not a single woman either but have e-mailed as this is just daft !!!

Our MP is a complete waste of space and time but you never know - the idiot might have some uses !!

T xx
 

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Thanks Natalie - Really helpful, have just e-mailed my MP.

Thanks to all those non-single ladies that are prepared to offer us support.

Roo xx
 

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Thanks Natalie for this, I will mail my MP now

Laura
 

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hey girls - I have e mailed my MP today about this - please can everyone else do the same. Thanks Natalie for the wording.

Don't forget when e mailing your MP to include your postal address so they can verify that you are one of their constituents,

Katiexx
 

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I just emailed - thank you for the wording Natalie.
 

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Tricky one Ju - sounds like your MP is quite a traditionalist....but at least you tried - there's not much more you can do. I suspect changing someone's view on this via email in a short space of time probably isn't going to be possible. Let's hope a well argued debate sways him in favour of a more open clause rather than a restrictive one

At least you got a reply - not heard a word from mine yet...

Laura
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I never hear back from mine - I write regularly about things  ;D. But then I was quite active politically in the elections for his opposition  :-\. Still, I shall try again...........

Back luck Ju. Maybe you could reply and ask him if his wife thinks its necessary  ;) ;)
 
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